Finding Decent Wives In The Most Materialistic Environment
Every single girl I meet, without exception, whether it's at the bar all my colleagues go to, the club, or on a dating app, seems to be a predatory, insecure, shallow mess that would divorce me to take half of my assets within 4 years.
The ones I meet also seem to have a vicious case of Adult ADHD. If I point it out to them, they seem to get defensive and call me "toxic" or "negative". One time in a club, one of them complained to a bouncer I was verbally harassing her when I pointed out that in fact, her breath was unpleasant and I wanted her to stand further away from me. Unbelievable.
Why is it that bankers and PE types seem to attract these untrustworthy characters? Is our job that shallow? Is there not an intellectual component that a more sophisticated woman can appreciate? How do we know these people are even sincere about dating us once they have a remote idea of how much we make. I could not care less about bottles and models. Hedy Lamar over Jennifer Lopez, any day of the week.
My question is: how can someone in high finance avoid this profile of women and find ways to date more loyal, committed and frankly, less trashy women?
I want a girl that will be loyal like a Southern Italian housewife 100 years ago. Not an ugly version of Kim Kardashian.
I believe in a partnership. Not just marrying a girl for the sake of keeping up appearances.
Any advice?
may sound stupid - but read "how to not die alone". This may give you insight into your problems that are franky to complex to be discussed on a forum. Cheers.
Have you tried meeting women through your friends? There is some natural pre-screening and easier diligence when the women are in your social circles
Instead of meeting girls at bars/clubs and tinder, try talking to regular women. Getting a cup of coffee from Starbucks in the morning? Ask out the cute barista who is making your drink. Waiting for the walk sign at an intersection? Say hi to the girl next to you waiting as well. Have any hobbies outside of work (volleyball, rock climbing, BJJ)? Try talking to women there.
You can find the innocent girl on the rare night out at the bar too, but part of it's luck and part of it is not hitting on the women who are half naked shaking their ass as well.
Also, consider moving outside the U.S. where women are less stuck up. Brazil maybe a good place to start.
Who dates those types of girls, anyways? It is incredible to me that people put up with women like that. Maybe all the guys on here that talk about how sweet their watch collection is and what they should add to it?
You have to think about what you are offering the woman.
1) You make a ton of $$$.
2) You may (or may not) have decent looks
3) ??
It's 3 and beyond that's difficult to answer for someone working 80+ hours. Work, eat, sleep. Rinse and repeat. The reality is even if you think you're creating a meaningful relationship at the weekend date you're able to schedule (that hopefully doesn't blow up due to some random VP's request), it's way less time compared to people who work 50-60 hours in the city and make 50-80% of your pay. So it's not surprising you are going to meet a bunch of shallow gold diggers at the banker/PE club. This doesn't mean you can't find the right person, but you are going to have to do a lot more filtering.
Honestly - Instagram and social media. The girls you seek aren’t going to the bars and clubs, and you have no real way of contacting them otherwise
Maybe I’m just old, but does this actually work? I’ve never blindly reached out to a person on instagram or social media to ask them out, although it probably doesn’t help that I don’t even have an instagram account.
Your three examples are some of the worst ways to meet someone if you’re looking to avoid surface level relationships: clubs, bars, and dating apps. I agree with the advice above to chat up “strangers.” I have met some of the most genuine people by things as simple as saying hi in the elevator, a building lobby, or a restaurant bar. Pursuing hobbies is also great advice — I’ve met many women through recreational soccer leagues or in my language classes. One caveat: It is obviously important not to be creepy and just move on if the person isn’t interested.
The other key to avoiding materialistic women is to simply not tell them your ‘worth’ until they’ve demonstrated real interest. This is impossible to do on apps but much easier to do when you meet via one of the methods above. Put away the designer clothes and Rolex — just go out with ‘regular’ clothing. Don’t volunteer things like how you vacation in the Hamptons or go heli-skiing with friends to let loose. These conversations are hard to avoid if you have a very generic conversation with someone, so take the conversation to a different level. Guide the conversation towards psychology — how you love to people watch and find it so fascinating how people do (insert random thing here). This will not only help you measure her intellectual capacity but avoids superficial conversations that everyone hates and makes a date boring. Yes, you may find that less women are attracted to you if you aren’t flashing your wealth, but that’s exactly the point — you don’t want to date those women.
dropping dimes bro
your sourcing will dictate your results. high quality women are not barflies, they're likely not on tinder, and they may go to the club once in a while for someone's birthday. when you say dating apps, are you only doing hinge, bumble, and tinder? try match, I'd be willing to bet the people on there are more serious.
finally, agree 100% with compbanker on leaving your nice clothes and stuff at home. what sort of energy are you putting out there? be really objective, is it materialistic? because you will attract someone similar to you, so if you're putting out a bat signal that you have money, well there you go
and a quick word on southern italian women, don't dismiss central italian or iberian women, equally as awesome (speaking from experience) :)
Understood.
Yes - not ashamed to say I like women from that region or even the Levant. Very "normal" people when they have good upbringing.
Thanks for that response.
What you say makes a lot of sense.
Hopefully they don't just walk away if I'm "hiding" wealth, for lack of a better term.
It's a tricky balance in my view.
If you find that you cannot attract any women without flashing your wealth, that is a signal that you need to start investing in yourself. If you suspect it is physical, focus on improving your physique. If you can get their phone number but cannot make it past the first date, you may need to work on your conversational skills.
Keep it mind that you yourself need to also have a filter. I see a lot of people who go for anyone who is interested in them. Don’t fall victim to this. Figure out what you’re after and don’t invest a lot of time elsewhere.
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