Friends with benefits zoned
How do I move out of the fuck buddy zone into dating material? Or what should I do differently next time?
Context: So I'm in a friends with benefits relationship with this dude I know. At first, I didn't think that I'd want anything emotionally involved or complicated. But obviously, since I'm a girl, I get attached.
BTW, we're both about equally attractive, if that matters. I've heard I'm the hotter one out of us, but it depends on personal preference. We've been just friends for two years but started hooking up recently. He's a year older and had an s&t gig at a bb in ny last summer...dunno if he gets an ego trip from that.
Stand by for the flaming soon to commence.
Love the username by the way, ingenious.
in before Flake asking for pics
Me too.
And don't do it, it never works if that's how it started. Personal experience.
answer: get detached or never show it.easy
You're fucked.
I can't wait for this thread to completely blow up tomorrow morning and It'll stay ridiculous for the next week. As for the actual question at hand, my opinion is to simply talk to him about all of this. Sure, it can completely fuck up the friends with benefits thing, but if your willing to risk that for a relationship, do it.
And I have to agree with APAE, username is gold.
contrary to previous comments, i think a lot of modern day relationships do start with a quick meet-and-hookup, especially in NY
you're just ahead of the curve
with that said if you're in school it mayyyy not be the best way to start a relationship: the jealous chicks will always talk about you this way
re: whether he gets a trip out of an bb s&t gig if you had to ask .......... yes
If you want to date a guy, don't sleep with him before you go on dates. Pretty simple.
By the way, what on earth caused you to turn here for dating advice? Did the rest of the internet shut down without my knowledge???
^HAHAHA
*also awaits flaming thread to ensue
Yeah, our original friendship is probably pretty fucked either way now...nothing much to lose?
And he's totally a wall street type (maybe a little less douchey?), so I'm sure WSO will give me insight into his mind
BTW, this logic applies to both men and women: figure out why you like them and what you really want...and then start setting better boundaries. Guys get attached too, so stop thinking in terms of stereotypes and start paying attention to the details of your situation. Sometimes, you have to put someone at a distance for a while to sort your own shit out and also get a better view of who they are. Are you letting yourself be taken for granted, or is the guy not interested in a relationship: get inside your own head and be honest about why you're so afraid to be more assertive about what you want from this guy. You need to be proactive about this, he's not going to just figure out what you're thinking and may even want the same things...but just making yourself sexually available with no strings attached will not get you what you want: I'm telling you this as a guy.
If you're on here asking random people about a random stereotype as it applies to your particular situation, you may want to actually start paying more attention to your particular situation.
At first I started reading this thinking, man what self respecting male wants to move OUT of fuck-buddy zone, then I realized its a chic... and everything in the universe is, once again, as it should be.
haha same!
OP I'd bet as soon as you pull the 'let's be more than fuckbuddies' card he'll stop returning your texts.
Hmmm. 7/10 if this is a troll attempt. Maybe even an 8.
Honestly the best thing for you to do is stop hooking up with him and feign interest in another guy.
Guys don't view friends-with-benefits girls as girlfriend material (usually).
Exactly. If he really liked you, he'd date you.
They see me trollin....
Take his dick as a hostage next time you guys have sex and if he doesn't want to be in a relationship cut that fucker off
You could be his fuck buddy, but how sure are you that he doesn't have a GF already? It's been done before and a lot of guys on Wall Street does have these kind of dirty little secrets.
Just from personal experience alone, I never dated or have considered dating a fuck buddy. I guess you can say it's because of my own insecurities.
Good trolling... I'll bite for the benefit of others and because this was so well executed (great name)...
So far, you've been played (or have done it to yourself). Just cut him off of sex, but allow him to hang out / date you. He'll fall for you and you'll start relating in a more meaningful manner.
Don't end up like this girl...
Just one idea - ask if it's alright if you start dating one of his friends - it'll drive him nuts and make him want you more.
There's always the threat of the 'cutoff' as well - just say hey, this is great, but if this isn't going anywhere I gotta move on.
Has he indicated to you whether it's serious - e.g. any talk of meeting the folks, traveling together, etc.? How long have you been in the fwb zone now? And what age are the two of you?
frgna
If you want to get him to date you'll probably have to start doing freakier stuff. Anal, ATM, 3somes, etc.
...wtf is ATM?
Seriously?
That could mean atmospheric pleasure pressure.
Fixed that for you.
girl please. your name is whoreton and you are a girl posting on WSO, we know the high status dong makes you wet.
Come over my my apt i have a nice soft couch we can "discuss" this on.
Definitely sounds like she needs to be invited in and calmed down.
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