How do I turn this around?
I have found myself in a strange situation with someone who I initially wanted to be a mentor/part of my network. We began chatting on LinkedIn, initially about our work - I’m an Analyst at a debt fund, and he is my region's Co-head at a much larger PE firm, so I found our conversations fascinating and was excited that he even engaged with me in the first place.
But I’m afraid I’ve given him the wrong impression, and things have gone down a more romantic path. I still want to meet him and try to salvage this, so we’re grabbing a drink and dinner next week.
I know I need to tell him the truth, but I want to redirect this connection toward a more professional path as I’m not looking for a relationship at the moment (work + grad school take up most of my time). Even if I did want a romantic relationship from him, he’s recently separated, and I don’t want to deal with that extra baggage.
I’m mindful of him being spiteful and saying I led him on - I have been a little flirty, but it was merely cheeky banter, but I’ve tried to keep ours chats professional and friendly, I ignore the flirty messages/change the topic.
I hope he understands as I’d prefer not to lose this connection. Has anyone found themselves in a similar situation? How do I turn this around?
has he said anything that could be only be interpreted as flirting? like complimenting your appearance or asking you out? or, do you just get the sense that he's into you? what medium is this communication taking place? text? email? phone calls?
as possible as it is that he's trying to fuck you, it's also equally possible he has no clue how to talk to women, is emotionally destroyed from his separation, and is just an awkward dude. men who have been out of the game because of marriage/long term girlfriends and have been faithful are some of the most awkward creatures imaginable (myself included). because we haven't used our "game" in eons, our 1:1 convos with single women go about as smoothly as I-95 in South Carolina (those who know, know).
keep things professional, if he helps you out, great, but if he wants to go to dinner, politely decline or suggest coffee because it works better with your schedule.
Yes, he's been forthright in his messages. Phone calls are usually friendly and natural, but the flirty messages make me cringe.
I thought the same re: being out of the game, I’m staying patient in the hope that he gets the idea that I’m not romantically-inclined like he is, but he just tries harder and escalates conversations randomly. I appreciate your advice, I’ll suggest a daytime meet up.
under no circumstances should you do dinner with drinks, that's a date
I'd also be ready to find a new mentor. if he keeps advancing, be straight with him "I don't want you to get the wrong idea, I really value our professional relationship, and I want to keep things that way."
if he keeps trying, say goodbye. always have more people in your network you can call on, you never know when you might need a backup plan. it'll also allow you to walk away more quickly from potentially harmful ones.
I'm sure that won't give him the wrong idea.![]()
https://media2.giphy.com/media/8lQyyys3SGBoUUxrUp/giphy.gif" alt="thinking face" />
On another note, just be a sugar baby and whore yourself out for a few grand
I've networked over dinner and drinks many times, it's not uncommon where I'm based. I found most men to be fine, but this guy obviously has another agenda. It's a shame.
I say get you a sugar daddy- times are tight! !
Eaque voluptas facere in qui culpa maiores quisquam. Omnis consequatur voluptatem eos ut. Quod architecto facilis delectus totam eum vel. Nostrum dolor voluptatem minima blanditiis consequatur veritatis recusandae. Aut eius qui facere voluptas incidunt architecto. Dolores in mollitia totam dolore error.
See All Comments - 100% Free
WSO depends on everyone being able to pitch in when they know something. Unlock with your email and get bonus: 6 financial modeling lessons free ($199 value)
or Unlock with your social account...