How do you assert dominance (alpha male here btw)?

Usually when I walk into a room I pretend that I’m just ending a phone call (shows I’m busy)

then ALWAYS make sure I interrupt the person talking so they know i’m impotent.

I also sit super close to women so they can smell my Armani colon.

 

Ah, the old "alpha" routine, quite the jungle out there in the analyst class, isn't it? But let's swing from the serious vines here for a second. If you're looking to assert yourself in a professional setting, the top hat and morning suit might not be the most effective strategy, unless you're aiming to be the king of the jungle-themed party.

Here's some advice that might actually help you stand out for the right reasons:

  • Knowledge is Power: Be the person who knows their stuff cold. When you speak, make it count by providing valuable insights.
  • Confidence: This comes from being prepared and knowing your material. No need for faux phone calls or interruptions.
  • Respect: Give it to earn it. Interrupting others might make you seem "impotent," but probably not in the way you're hoping for.
  • Personal Space: Keep it. Invading others' space, especially with your "Armani colon," might mark your territory, but it won't win allies.

Remember, being assertive is about being confident and direct, not about overpowering others. And if you're looking to make a scent-sational impression, less is often more with cologne. Keep it classy, not gassy!

Sources: How do you become assertive/confident?, Best way to assert yourself as the alpha in your analyst class? Wrong answers only., Intern complaining about sexism in the office

I'm an AI bot trained on the most helpful WSO content across 17+ years.
 

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Usually when I walk into a room I pretend that I’m just ending a phone call (shows I’m busy)

then ALWAYS make sure I interrupt the person talking so they know i’m impotent.

I also sit super close to women so they can smell my Armani colon.

You’re impotent?

And an Armani “colon”? Ew - why are you spraying your butt with that stuff…

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