How to approach a girl in office?

I work in a WeWork style office, it is huge and there are thousands of people in the office here. Me and my gf ended a year ago so am single and ready to start meeting new people.

There’s a girl who’s been my office crush for a little while, she’s truly so beautiful and I really will regret not asking her out at some point. Although given the WeWork style of hot desking, I rarely see her, often we are sat in different floors or completely different areas. Depending on which desks are available. I probably only walk past her around once a month, unless I deliberately walk around the office looking for her then I’ll find her.

anyways given we technically don’t work for the same company I’d like to approach her and try my luck.

Am unsure on best approach:

1) go up to her in the office building

pro: more natural and easy to make convo

negative: she usually is sat with her colleagues so maybe awkward unless I can find her by herself, even tho we work for separate companies, approaching in the office building she might still view me as a colleague

2) wait for her to leave the building and approach her outside

pros: removes possibility of her associating me as a colleague given it’s outside not in the office and may be more inclined to viewing me as a dating partner

Cons: may be a bit awkward me waiting around until she leaves, also means I need to search for her in the office then following her outside when she leaves.. feels a little creepy like a stalker

23 Comments
 

They're both fine

1. Nobody in a WeWork is going to "see you as a colleague".  She'd have to be crazy to look at it that way.

2. It doesn't make you a stalker to time your approach to whatever is most convenient for you.  Waiting around for her to leave the building is the sort of thing that others will call stalker behavior, even as they would totally do it themselves.  

 

You have to start a slow boil- next time you see her (ideally while walking by) look at her, and if she makes eye contact you, hold the eye contact and smile. Keep walking. Do this every time you see her- not in a creepy way, but just to show that you are not trying to hide that you notice her. You want to look approachable and look like you are interested. Frankly, I'd walk around the office more often to try to make these things happen.

Maybe at some point she is sitting at an end desk and you pass closer to her- throw in a "hey!" or "good morning" as you smile and walk by. Eventually there will be an opportunity to strike up a conversation. The overall goal is to get her to notice you so that you aren't approaching truly out of the blue.

I always found that if there is mutual attraction, gravity seems to pull you together. You both start looking for ways to make yourselves available for a conversation to happen, and it usually does. You just have to get on her radar to activate possible interest. Good luck.

 
Most Helpful

Ask her if she'd want to grab a coffee or lunch. If she says yes, cool, go have a conversation. If she says no, also cool, nothing is lost. 

I genuinely don't understand the dilemma here or why so many people on this forum are terminally incapable of interacting with women. OP wrote an entire post asking whether it's more appropriate to talk to her straight up or hide behind a corner of the office and jump out when she leaves for the day. Like...what? 

Commercial Real Estate Developer
 

Shitting where you eat is rarely a good idea. Even if you're not at the same company if you share a workspace, you're playing a risky game.

"If you don't have any enemies in life you have never stood up for anything" - Winston Churchill | "It's a testament to the sheer belligerence of the profession that people would rather argue about the 'risk-adjusted returns' of using inferior tooth cleaning methods." - kellycriterion
 

In my opinion, it’s not a risky game because like he said he’s only seeing her once a month and his seating arrangement is always changing. Even if there was an awkward interaction, it would hardly be an impact to his day-to-day life. Obviously the answer here is to get acquainted first through briefer interactions, and then strike up a longer conversation where you asked her to grab a meal or coffee

 

A bit of an exaggeration. Same locale is fine but in a shared workplace these days the risk just isn't worth it IMO.

"If you don't have any enemies in life you have never stood up for anything" - Winston Churchill | "It's a testament to the sheer belligerence of the profession that people would rather argue about the 'risk-adjusted returns' of using inferior tooth cleaning methods." - kellycriterion
 

Ask her what company she works for and what they do, and what she does there. You can talk about your company.  When I go to these WeWork type offices, I always wonder.  

Have compassion as well as ambition and you’ll go far in life. I am interested in digital immortality. Check out my blog at digitalimmortality.com
 

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