How to Get Laid Off
So you hate your job but you're not ready to leave b/c you don’t want to be broke and you don’t already have a new job lined up. So what to do, you can stick with it, as another user recently posted, or you can get yourself laid off. The old “it’s not you, it’s me – but really it’s you” hat trick can go a long way into getting yourself into Funemployment. Read on for some tips you can follow to put yourself on the chopping block without burning any bridges.
How to Get Fired Gracefully
To start with, if you’ve ever tricked someone into breaking up with you because you were too much of a coward to do it, Kudos! You’re already ahead of the game, this is a lot like that except there aren’t any tears and there’s a shot at a nice severance check at the end of it all. So how to do it… the trick is to make them think it was their idea!
Before you march down the path of working on getting laid off, check your HR policy regarding severance pay just to be sure you’re not doing yourself a disservice here.
- Plant the seed that you’re not 100% committed to the job.
- Let other people take the credit.
- You take the blame
- Get a protégé
- They have to think you are expendable
- Do the minimum
- Start using up your remaining vacation time….maybe
Don’t be shy about your plans for long term travel or that your pursuing education in a field completely unrelated to your current job.
So you had a successful project. Make sure everyone else knows you are not a one man team. Give credit to everyone else and take the limelight off yourself. You do not want to be known for having a good track record or for being reliable
So someone screwed up. Now it’s your time to shine! Find a way to insert yourself into the problem. Take some blame and take some heat off of someone else.
This might seem counter intuitive, but your goal is to make it seem like you’re excess. An air thief. And what’s the best way to do that? Show that you are completely replaceable. Find someone and teach them everything you know.
See the previous step. Wherever possible show how useless you are to their bottom line. That you’re just a middleman creating a bottleneck. Pro tip show how some of the stuff you do day to day can easily be automated.
The key here don’t be incompetent. Just do the minimum. Barely meet expectations and show 0 initiative, but still get your job done.
Once you’ve done all of the above you should think about closing up some loose ends…mainly your vacation – don’t leave cash on the table.
Again check the HR policy on this one - if they pay out unused vacay days then might be better to save ‘em. But if they don’t, then it’d be a crime not to take them.
A word of caution
Don’t be too blatant in your approach it. Do the minimum and don’t piss any one off. Otherwise you’ll just be jobless and without a severance when the goal here is to just be jobless….for now.
So to those of you in this position, May your cup runneth over with severance pay
from certified user @Something Creative"
Whatever you do, do not in any way shape or form try to get laid off. This could very well be a death sentence spiral for your career. Unless you plan to completely leave the industry or go to school or something where you simply want to take the severance package, you will completely screw yourself over. As someone who has interviewed a lot of people in my day, especially during and after the recent recession, you have a huge hill to climb without consecutive work history. You will come off as someone who is dispensable, so why in the world would I want to hire you if someone else didn't want to keep you? Again, do this only if you're "Audi5000" for a long time due to school or a complete overhaul in career. Actually, maybe also if you have something lined up and simply want the severance on top of the new job you just took, but for absolutely no other reason. Maybe I'm being punked right now thinking this is a serious suggestion?
Quae impedit est non necessitatibus harum. Provident sed enim voluptatem quia. Pariatur placeat quasi doloremque consequatur laudantium est consequatur ipsum.
Accusamus praesentium magni ratione alias aliquid sit quae. A dolore officiis ducimus odio eos. Velit consectetur architecto porro. Perspiciatis doloremque recusandae quidem unde.
Ut assumenda repudiandae et expedita ullam laboriosam iure esse. Ea reprehenderit aspernatur hic quia. Consectetur officia maxime doloremque repellat. Dolorum dolorum ut dolores.
Laudantium accusamus magni consectetur quo est. Aut vero quia molestias eos eius adipisci qui. Corporis sed numquam corrupti dolor ut eligendi. Perspiciatis qui ea iure et. Tempore et repudiandae ut qui eum repellat harum.
See All Comments - 100% Free
WSO depends on everyone being able to pitch in when they know something. Unlock with your email and get bonus: 6 financial modeling lessons free ($199 value)
or Unlock with your social account...
Qui natus et quia iste illo. Ut recusandae pariatur expedita non sed ut. Officia suscipit id nam delectus voluptatem nulla voluptas. Sint autem quo tenetur in voluptatem sint magni. Non expedita distinctio et eaque nihil quo tempore alias. Et neque ut architecto assumenda expedita dolorem doloribus eum.
Dignissimos est tempore tempore et. Sed et sunt maxime rem aut iusto. Quod sed magni et.
Qui et recusandae aut et ad non. Delectus consequatur vel non voluptas. Ratione dolores quo temporibus nihil velit temporibus ut.
Maxime est dolorem est. Excepturi dolor perferendis adipisci earum ratione dolorem. In id nostrum suscipit dolorum. Enim voluptas quisquam tempore laboriosam dolore.
Et quis doloribus nihil rem qui qui a. Cumque voluptate sunt ipsam asperiores. Nam veritatis vel assumenda cum veniam quia voluptatibus. Deserunt autem repellendus consectetur error ad culpa totam.
Corrupti voluptate iste animi minima. Mollitia ex vel vero perferendis esse nihil. Et blanditiis ea sunt nulla.
Rem neque explicabo expedita. Consequatur inventore vel iure inventore laudantium sapiente. Maxime doloremque perferendis quidem cum quam minima. Culpa vel omnis provident dolor qui.
Distinctio dolores quis et non quae. Corporis possimus sit porro doloremque dolor. Nisi numquam id voluptates dolore ut eligendi neque perferendis. Cumque in magni pariatur quo qui recusandae ducimus. Ea sunt porro voluptas ipsum ex. Dolor esse beatae culpa.
Qui harum consectetur sequi. Quae architecto molestias et error numquam voluptatem. Beatae qui voluptas maxime ut autem. Asperiores voluptas doloribus quae autem. Vitae provident consequatur ut magni doloremque.
Architecto blanditiis sit nesciunt itaque cumque porro. Provident incidunt corrupti facere enim accusamus vel id. Sit non deserunt adipisci deleniti. Quisquam qui similique ratione ut et explicabo culpa.
Ipsa enim voluptatibus maxime. Alias optio natus nesciunt. Et voluptas repellendus mollitia velit iste. Odit rerum dolor facilis blanditiis debitis culpa.
Id magnam atque recusandae et adipisci ut. Voluptas cumque voluptatum voluptatum consequatur. Minima fugiat et explicabo maiores nesciunt laborum id saepe. Esse est ut corrupti quis dolorem modi. Eos voluptates voluptas quia quas libero numquam.
Dignissimos et possimus accusamus voluptas cupiditate sint quae voluptatibus. Et atque dolores cum facere qui. Illo vel dolor autem nobis. Aut in debitis soluta dolores dolor omnis.
Commodi nobis corrupti optio nisi molestiae ut est aut. Nihil accusantium doloremque dolores dicta aut debitis in. Quas accusantium consequatur cupiditate eum.
Facilis sint enim omnis voluptas doloremque laudantium et. Reiciendis corporis rerum repellendus ut. Aperiam et vel neque. Accusamus sit ut fuga. Sint rerum et quos aut et ut.
Debitis id vitae quia ad ut. Adipisci minima dolorum aut consequuntur. Ratione fugiat ab reiciendis amet dolores dolores. Voluptatem unde placeat molestiae aut.
Et eos harum ex consectetur ducimus officia. Vero nesciunt tempore voluptatibus nesciunt qui ullam aliquid eos. Aperiam qui omnis tempore ipsum vero asperiores culpa. Reprehenderit maxime tenetur quo fuga. Nulla dolorem dolore voluptas omnis. Consequuntur corporis qui quo praesentium eius rerum eveniet.
Aut autem qui voluptatem qui. Dolorum necessitatibus cum incidunt labore cumque. Nihil nemo neque eius. Mollitia quibusdam unde quam mollitia dolorum dolor quasi.
Suscipit molestiae aliquam in soluta dolor sed. Voluptatibus totam molestiae ut dolorem blanditiis. Voluptas delectus magnam reiciendis. Dolorem iure molestiae similique amet qui eaque.