I need a fake boyfriend to get my parents off my back. Any closeted gays interested?

My parents are giving me so much grief every day and are putting me under pressure to date bc I’m turning 28 next January. But I’m not interested in dating men and want to remain single. Is there any guy on here (mid twenties to early thirties) with a decent job and school on paper in nyc who is willing to fake being my bf and meet with my parents like twice a year to keep up the charade? We literally never have to see each other nor interact. I’m willing to do the same with your parents if you are like a closeted gays or something and need a woman to fake being your gf.  Or just a fake gf to bring to events to make yourself look good. Men have told me I’m like a solid 8/9 and I’m slim. I’m just not interested in men but don’t want to get disowned by my family.