I'm depressed and turning into an addict and need help to stop
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Take a week or 2 off and speak to a professional for help.
Would it be possible to move home for a bit while you're still WFH? My guess is that being home with your parents, you wouldn't be able to indulge in the same ways even if you wanted to. Either that or consider moving in with some friends who don't drink and smoke as much - maybe just the association would help, ie maybe you'd feel embarrassed chugging down 8 beers on a Wednesday if everyone else in your apartment kept it to 1-2 glasses of wine. Neither are perfect solutions, but just some food for thought.
1) I think you already know this but you need to go cold turkey on the alcohol and weed
2) You’ve made a great first step opening up on here about your situation - it might not seem like it but it would probably help to speak to a therapist or just a friend (I know what you mean by always having to be the one holding everything together but these people aren’t your friends if you can’t be vulnerable with them)
3) Make some time each day for some gentle exercise outside - like going for a quick walk. You might have to push back on work or talk to your staffer (if you have one) to achieve this, but shouldn’t feel embarrassed about this. You are not a machine and your health and wellbeing comes first.
4) Try eating more healthily - if living off deliveroo/seamless then look up some good salad places or general healthy spots. High quality protein, lots of fresh produce, some healthy fats, and wholegrain carbs
5) Think about what you actually want from life - you dont seem to really enjoy your job so why are you doing it? Do you have a 5yr plan for moving on to something better? What are you really passionate about? Where would you like to live? Do you have a significant other/family and do you want one? You might not know the answers to all these questions, and don’t need to figure them out straight away, but it’s something to keep in mind.
And finally 7) stop beating yourself up - you’re doing great and surviving what sounds like a really difficult situation. The steps above are just my opinion and others on here might have different/better advice, but please know that this stranger is rooting for you.
Make the transition to harder drugs. Good exit opps are heroin and xans.
Therapist. Will help a lot.
Start walking. Walk as much as you can. Walk everyday. Then do walk / runs and eventually running. Once you get your fitness back, the endorphins and positive chemicals will show you a path. Also, if you want to talk to someone about it, I'd recommend a psychiatrist over a therapist.
Yeah I have to second this. I've been walking around the neighborhood for fun after work and it's awesome how good it feels. Bonus points when you walk by a family with a dog that jumps at ya haha.
Great endorphin rush from that, or seeing a cute kid in a stroller and making eye contact with the family. Dogs are the best though
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