Incoming Foot Rub Factory Analyst
I'm very proud that after several months of prodding my great aunt Jesse, I will be finally be aloud to meet my heart's desire and become an incoming analyst at the Foot Rub Factory (tm) of Lexington, Kentucky on the corner of Trump & Lincoln Boulevard (bless his soul - I'm referring to the former) & Walrus Way. My internship for the past 7 months has been an incredibly humbling experience, especially as I wasn't allowed to enter the building to do my job of analizing by my extended family for the first 13 weeks of my stint at this prestigious Bunion Bracket. I had the extraordinary experience of analyzing how to:
- Rub them feet
- Clean them footsies
- Massage 'em (there are sophisticated disparities in the processing of this type of business activity and rubbing)
- Put together powerpoint presentations for 100 hours a week
- Understand why Jesse isn't divorced but also doesn't talk to Bob anymore
I truly didn't know the nature of what people meant by labor market frictions until I started rubbing feet for a livin'. This experience has taught me that I'm better than those good for nothing losers who work at the Manicure Middles; the feet are the foundation of the person and for that reason I'm going to say for the second time during this post that I have an accepted an offer to work at FRF LLC in 36-48 months over my great aunt Jesse's dead body (that's how she phrased it).
this is a wannabe leveraged sellout post that won't make it onto the site
What is leverage?
LinkedIn posts in a nutshell
Linkedin is the most useful space for me to me to grow my brand. I love to talk about my dogs; I was told that people in the industry love dogs. I hope that I'll be able to get a job talking about my pooches.
Tried a bit too hard there champ
DUDE, I JUST WANT THIS JOB SO BADLY! DO YOU KNOW ANYONE IN THE INDUSTRY THAT MIGHT BE ABLE TO HELP ME?
To which I say, "Go home, you desperate little fuck."
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