Is NYC culturally dead?
Recently moved to NYC for a new job. It’s been a while since I posted.
I gotta be honest that I’m not the easiet person to please in the world but I’m noticing that weekends in NYC kinda suck. The crowd at any bar or club or whatever just seems to be really obnoxious.
To add on, I’ve ran into enough people who despite it being 2025 are still entitled, manipulative, and nasty. Like they always find someone they don’t like and have to actively try to make their lives miserable. I feel like I’ve fallen victim it. Hate to say this but I do find this behavior at higher percentage for people who are “woke”. It’s like they’re hiding behind their ideologies and their friends who share that to justify being nasty to others.
What is happening? I feel like living in an urban equivalent of a red neck town (in terms of how close minded and inconsiderate of people can be).
Oh man, I can't wait for people to immediately tag onto the "anti woke" bus of just using that to hate on people.
Truth is, you're probably just not going to the right places. Out in Queens, there's still so many great places to go to. Parks, interest clubs, and a whole host of other good stuff. Your problem is that you're complaining that bars and clubs suck and are socially bad. No fucking shit dude. People realize that clubs and bars are socially and culturally gross once they hit a certain age, and a higher percent of Millennials and Gen Z are just abstaining from drinking and bar culture. That means you're only getting people who are not going to be the best people to hang around.
Even then, I'd be shocked if every bar in NYC was like this. I don't drink, my wife does though, and whenever she goes out to bars and such with friends she still has a fun time meeting people. I can still find people who aren't bad people. Maybe try checking a different crowd?
My complaint is they suck on weekends because they’re over run by 20 year olds that just litter all over the god damn places. I live in a pretty quiet part of the city and even my local bar is being invaded by them. If you’ve seen those invasive flies with dots on their wings, that’s what they feel like
And sorry for the confusion. The nasty people stuff was about a after work networking situation.
I got banned from a place because apparently I’ve not been respectful “gender and body type”. I’m sure that you can find places where someone would ban you for “not thinking orange hair is handsome” so it goes around.
But literally all I did was call out on someone for being a jerk who just keeps repeating BS identity politics rhetoric. Before that I was just responding to this person complaint about how I clothing brands fit them and I was just trying to tell them a bunch of options
Idk why you'd want to stay around people you don't like. If I'm in an environment full of people that don't give me energy and don't make my day better, I just leave. Stop complaining about it, it's weird. Just leave when you meet people like that.
The way you speak about people is pretty telling. If I don't like someone, they're out of sight, out of mind. I would never dedicate mental energy to a group that I supposedly don't like.
If you don't want to be around a bunch of 20 year old's, stop going to places where there's a bunch of 20 year old's. This feels like the most obvious statement I could possibly make, yet it seems like it's going right over your head. It's not other peoples responsibility to invite you in and make you feel good. It's your own responsibility to do that. Blaming others will only lead to a mediocre life.
Man no one is going to fucking trek out to Queens fr tf are you talking abt
Then you're missing out, because Queens fucking rocks. Best food, great people, tons of fun stuff to do. Acting like it's some sort of great chore to go out and meet people in a different environment. It should take at most 1 hour. Is traveling an hour to do something really fun such a bad thing?
Also, Queens was just an example. NYC is huge. If you're not able to find a crowd in NYC, a city of 8M and a metro population of 20M, the problem isn't the city, it's you.
what team do you work at? because as a banker if you're this close minded, whenever I need to look for bankers, I can avoid ppl like you.
if you work in finance at any capacity, your entire job is to stay open-minded to new information.
I have no shame and nothing to hide - bring it on.
The country is going absolutely insane with the lack of common sense and nasty people who abuse that.
And I haven’t had real fun in months
sounds like you a problem
Idk. I always had a bad time meeting random folks at NYC bars even in the mid 2010s. People being passive aggressive for no reason etc.
Yeah I don’t need the passive aggressiveness from anybody.
What’s wrong with people ?
It's unfortunately a New York thing. That's why I don't like 'going out' in the city unless I'm with a big group and people I plan to speak with the whole time.
Not even meant as an insult, honest question, are you on the autism spectrum?
Not meant as an insult either, honest assessment, yes obviously.
Look at my job. What do you think is the probability that Injave some form of autism ? It’s closer to 100% than it’s closer to 0%.
Congrats here’s your prize money
I love it. Moment someone complains there’s like half the people who just shitbon you while the other half act like bros and give you real info.
Thanks WSO. Let’s try to keep the ratio btw shutters and helpers who pretend to be shutters optimal
I’d be really surprised if the entire bar scene was as bad as you’re saying it is.
Granted you’re gonna have some bad apples wherever you go, but if you search hard enough you will find places you enjoy going to.
Personally my buddies and I like the East Village, but I’ll caveat that because the majority of bars cater to people in their early 20s, with it being near NYU and all that.
There are other areas to try too, (west village, brooklyn, queens)that’s my favorite part about NYC. If you go out with a group you have better odds to have a good time, but meeting fun people you get along with is half-intentional (where you go) and also a numbers game to an extent.
Personally even at my age I’m starting to think about ramping down how often I go out. There are plenty of other fun things to do (group sports, museums, trying new cuisines, concerts). I know I’m stating the obvious but it’s important to try new things and see what you like.
Also, even with that woke crowd you’re describing, if that’s not your type of people changing locations will probably work the best if that’s your preference.
Things will turn up, it just takes some time.
Yeah I’m just thinking about going out on Thursdays and Sundays because that’s when I meet good people
As long as you make sure you get good sleep and it’s not wearing you down then definitely go for it
I think you described ressentiment!
yeah but how do I stay strong and become better than I ever was?
I thought I’ve seen all the nastiness of the world but NYC is is taking it to the next levels on a daily basis
Find your tribe of likeminded people and ignore the rest. There will always be people like this no matter where you go.
That is just the bar scene in general. It has always been this way, it is more that you have just aged to a point of noticing.
This is nightlife everywhere now…I don’t think it’s specific to NYC and if anything’s NYC’s nightlife is still better than every where else in the country. This is the worst generation for going out by far. We’re probably not having half the fun that millennials or even boomers used to have in their younger days. Everyone is either trying to act too nonchalant or afraid of being recorded and just broods in the corner or sticks to their little group.
I would love to know where you go out but i am assuming it is PHD, Marquee, and Tao
Nah you projecting. No idea what those places are except Marquee.
I keep it below 14th street in Manhattan. Brooklyn was supposed to be cool but I’m starting to think Manhattan nightlife is actually better
"I keep it below 14th street in Manhattan"
Well there's your issue. That area is hit or miss
NYC is a hellscape now. And yes, it's culturally dead. The 80s and 90s Manhattan that you know from lore and the movies is long, long gone. The class/grit juxtaposition - gone. The finance scene is just super lame and meta now. The art scene is dark and fake. The music scene sucks. Fashion and architecture frontiers are non-existent. I've lived in and around the city for 40+ years. I watched it happen. It's really just a microcosm or reflection of the country at large though.
thanks fr the perspective. tbh i think some of the creative dynamicism have moved to Asia
Asia ATTEMPTED that created dynamicism but it lacks the soul and mesh of different paths of life and cultures nyc has, still.
Yes, that makes sense, the famously monocultural cities of Asia are the ones seething with dynamism. Places like Shanghai or Tokyo, where a whopping 2-5% of the population aren't ethnically Chinese or Japanese.
That's where the real creative "dynamicism" is!
Another person mythologizing a NYC that never existed. Lovely.
The fact that you or anyone else can compare NYC to something we "know from lore and the movies" with a straight face is fucking hilarious. Like, if you don't see how making a comparison to a literal piece of fiction or myth and drawing a negative conclusion is inappropriate, I don't even know what to tell you.
this couldn't be further from the truth. while I feel nyc was on a peak and high in the late 2010s, and took a hit from covid, it is still classically ny and that hasn't changed one bit.
What's happening is you are going to places where you're likely to run into obnoxious, entitled people. And then you're selectively confirming your biases about "woke" people. I mean, I doubt you can even define what a "woke" person is, you seem to just decide that anyone who is a hypocrite is woke, which is amusing and telling and all, but hardly definitive.
NYC is no different than it has even been. I strongly suggest you stop going to the same bars with the same obnoxious finance bros in their mid 20s and maybe stretch yourself a little. There is something funny about the idea that you're calling one of the greatest, most cultured places on the planet "dead" when I'm guessing your social life revolves around the same dozen bars and clubs in the same several square blocks.
Stop being angry and maybe offer some constructive thoughts? You’re assuming a lot and its really not that helpful.
No I don’t go to the same dozen places. But if I find a good spot, I will go to the same place multiple times.
Just have found that on weekends things are pretty shitty no matter how much of an institution some place is. Just better to stick to your neighborhood watering hole if you live in a quiet area, just have a house party, hang out at a park somewhere, or just hang out before peak hours.
But it is pretty much a cultural indicator of a place (neighborhood and the city) when you can’t just pick a random place and have fun because of the vibe of the crowd.
I’m hearing some analysis that this is because lot of venues, especially underground ones, started to advertise to a larger crowd that might not entirely “get the vibe” because of rising prices and post-Covid decrease in organic demand. And who gets to come are - invasive species with no natural predators if you will.
There are some spots that doesn’t seem to have been effected sure. But it does stand that a lot of places are effected at any neighborhood.
"I’m hearing some analysis that this is because lot of venues, especially underground ones, started to advertise to a larger crowd that might not entirely “get the vibe” because of rising prices and post-Covid decrease in organic demand. And who gets to come are - invasive species with no natural predators if you will."
While I haven't watched the scene closely myself, this absolutely tracks with many of my own experiences in NYC post-covid.
The bars & restaurants are increasingly competing for wallet share with other entertainment options and struggling to find their footing. Most have responded by charging out the nose in the hopes that will attract the right crowd and help revenue more than it hurts revenue. But that will have a tendency to attract a crowd that's more touristy and also more trend-chasing. It's not a long term solution and those chickens are coming home to roost. Hell, even alcohol consumption is plummetting which is both a cause & effect probably.
It's a mess. Happening in every city to some degree, but especially NYC where so much of people's disposable time & money is about going out. Not sure how it resolves but it's definitely a disruption to the way things were.
What help do you want? You say you stay primarily below 14th Street. So you do no work to explore other areas of the city or anything except the most generic, brotastic, milquetoast places. I gave the constructive thoughts - go outside your comfort zone. Just because you aren't willing to take that advice doesn't invalidate it.
So... you go to the same places. This feels like an oddly defensive way of telling me I'm right. I wasn't thinking it was exactly 12, it was a figure of speech.
So by your own admission you are going to places that are "institutions". Obviously I'm curious what you think those places are, but regardless, you're still just going to the same places everyone else who looks and thinks like you goes to.
But you aren't picking "random places". You're picking high profile places which are sure to be mobbed with people from your exact professional and social background.
And whether or not every random place is fun isn't an indicator of anything. Of course not every place will be fun. The question is whether you can stumble on a fun place at a random time.
By your own admission you spend all your time in the most generic, least "random" part of the city. Yes, everything will feel similar, because it is. And also by your own admission, you make little effort to go anywhere that flies under the radar. Think of it like the Groucho Marx corollary - any place you've heard of, is already a place you won't want to go.
Except you've never been to 95% of the neighborhoods in NYC, because you only stay south of 14th Street in Manhattan.
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