Jam Band Debate
Jam Band Rankings: Widespread Panic Is the GOAT and Phish Fans Need to Get a Life
I've been meaning to start this debate for a while because I genuinely don't understand how Phish became the gold standard for jam bands.
I get that they're technically proficient. I get that they're good at improvisation. I get that their live shows are supposed to be some kind of spiritual experience. But at some point somebody has to acknowledge that being able to play for 25 minutes straight doesn't necessarily mean you're playing anything worth listening to. Half their jams sound like four guys taking turns trying to out-nerd each other musically. Trey Anastasio playing scales over a synth loop for 30 minutes is not the musical equivalent of the second coming.
And honestly, the fanbase might be the worst part. Every Phish guy I've ever met seems to have the exact same personality. Went to a mediocre state school, wears Patagonia year-round, has strong opinions on craft beer, drives a Subaru Outback, and thinks following four guys around the country playing experimental noise is a personality trait. Phish is what happens when jam bands become a cult. The music is fine, but the fans have somehow convinced themselves they're participating in something intellectually superior to everybody else's musical taste.
Goose might actually be even more embarrassing. Imagine being a grown man voluntarily listening to what sounds like a Phish tribute band that got discovered at a corporate retreat. The hype-to-talent ratio is genuinely incredible. If somebody told me Goose was assembled by a marketing department trying to capitalize on the jam band resurgence, I'd believe them. They're the musical equivalent of a roll-up of mediocre regional breweries. fucking losers
Meanwhile, Widespread Panic is out here playing actual rock and roll. Jimmy Herring is one of the best guitarists alive, Schools and JoJo are an elite rhythm section, and JB sounds like he's been smoking cigarettes since the Carter administration. Nobody is trying to convince you that a 30-minute jam is a religious experience. They just get on stage and absolutely rip. There's something distinctly American about Panic that Phish could never replicate. The music has some weight to it.
The Allman Brothers were actually writing great songs, the Dead have a catalog that transcends the genre, and String Cheese can put on a genuinely fun show without taking themselves so seriously.
My rankings:
- Widespread Panic
- Grateful Dead
- Allman Brothers
- Billy Strings
- String Cheese Incident
Phish somewhere considerably lower than their fanbase would like to admit. Goose doesn't make the list.
Phish fans are welcome to defend themselves in the comments, although I'm not particularly interested in hearing about the spiritual experience you had in a field in Vermont. Goose fans can probably just sit this one out.
