Jealous of a dead man
One of my old friends died recently and I while I was sad about the tragedy, I found myself jealous. I was jealous of all the people that seemed to know him better than me. Jealous of how much he meant to them. Jealous of the love he had from friends and his significant other. All of those feelings made me feel like a loser.
In fact, If that were me I can legitimately think of maybe two people outside of my family that would feel sad if I were gone. Anyone else would probably just go “what a shame” and move on.
It makes me feel horrible, because I live and he does not, but he obviously lived more than I ever will.
This might just be a hot take that people may disagree with, but I feel like funerals are more of a just another event where everyone tries to show off by how close they were with everyone. Would all of these people have even called their friend on the Tuesday before his death ... IDK maybe, but probably not. Also A funeral is usually going to bring out the good memories not the bad ones in people. I generally stay away from funerals (there are still some I go to, like brother of my best friend for example). It is partially out of respect due, but also to give individuals space for grieving. If I knew the family I will usually will see if there is a way to donate to help the family out. I feel like this is a better way to support in a time of grieving.
Long story don't think about it to much and keep moving forward. People always act differently when grieving.
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