I just started reading Monkey Business and i'm only about 50 pages in and this book is hilarious. I recommend it to anyone that likes investment banking or even just a good laugh
there was Stevens, with no sleep for the preceding seventy-two hours and with a full meal under his belt, fighting to stay awake during our after-dinner question-and-answer session. Rolfe and I were seated directly across from him, and had watched him come close to nodding off several times during dinner. Each time he’d been able to fight off the urge and stay conscious, but the effort this required was clearly increasing with each occurrence. At times his eyes came within a hair’s breadth of being closed, so that he looked like a Korean fighter pilot after two quarts of rice wine.
on his departure the entire analyst class had thrown a party where the collective level of joy approached that at Christ’s resurrection.(Bubbles)
creation of a pitch book for Bubbles was approached by analysts and associates alike as an activity akin to the illumination of a holy manuscript by medieval monks.
Any conversation with Bubbles that he was conducting from his cellular phone or from an airplane took place only under the strictest of rules. Company names could never be used; code names were used instead. This led to frequent conversations that, taken out of context, sounded positively ludicrous. For instance: “Hi, it’s Bill. I’ve been thinking, why don’t we look at a scenario where Big Bear acquires Pumpernickel Dough’s Butterbean division?” “Okay, Bill, but what should I assume happens with Pumpernickel Dough’s Tinkerbell division?” “Assume it gets rolled up into Big Bear’s Claw division.” “You got it, Bill.” It was like listening to Warren Buffet on acid.
