Marriage and Money Dynamics
Hello, I have seen many couples like this, often in finance, but sometimes in a few other high paying industries such as Tech, BigLaw. The couple has the following dynamic:
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One member of the couple, who I call the provider earns a large income and is the financial provider.
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The other member of the couple does not work, and is usually attractive, and handles the family, organizational, and social aspects of the couples life.
Both members of the couple enjoy a very high standard of living in terms of dining, homes, schools for the kids, travel, etc
In most cases, the man is usually the provider, and the female is the financially supported one, but I have seen a few female provider, male supported one couples, and a few same sex couples with this dynamic. The financially supported one may be a stay at home parent or the couple may have no kids, but still have this dynamic.
The wealthiest couple with this dynamic was a 9 figure per year hedge fund Owner husband whose wife did charity and family stuff. The poorest version of this couple had the husband as a high seven figure medical clinic owner.
Surprisingly, both roles can at times be very challenging. For instance, I have seen a quant fund genius whose wife performs vital networking on his behalf and could not handle the social and high powered organizational stuff she does. In some cases, the charity work, social organizing, selection of professionals, and even managing of household financial matters is at the level of a high level corporate manager.
In your opinion:
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What role do you think is more fulfilling and enjoyable: Being a high earning breadwinner or being a stay at home spouse of a high earning breadwinner, handling the family, organizational, and social aspects of life?
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From anyone's experience, has anyone seen any couples like this and what are the pros and cons of this type of marriage?
Would be interested in anyone's thoughts.
Thanks
The poorest person you know with this dynamic (which has been the standard one for the past hundred or so years) earns seven figures a year? Good lord.
What is your question? My mom was a stay at home while my dad worked.
99% of the time the man will earn the money, and if it’s the other way around, I’d argue a divorce is incoming 50% of the time. Men were created to lead - women were created from men.
The whole “men and women are the same” is bullshit.
I do not understand the MS thrown here. The foundation of his argument would be supported by data.
He supports his argument with bible verses. 😂 "women were created from men" is a reference to Genesis where God creates Eve from Adam's rib while he's sleeping.
High* seven figures
He needs to have a wife who's a piece of ass and is smart enough to handle his philanthropy when he's pulling 7-9 figures a year!
Never Happened.
Going to answer like this isn’t a troll post.
When you get married there is no guarantee who that will be. If you do those two things, you will be happy either way.
This is wise.
Simple. Three accounts. His, her's, and a joint. The joint is for all the bills and you both contribute. Then your separate accounts are for whatever you want to "blow your wad" on. He wants a new hifi setup for watching movies, she wants a new Kate Spade bag? Who gives a [gamer word] if it's their own money?
this is the way, although you don't really need a separate account for shared expenses. Have your partner pay you "rent" but just deduct what the average monthly expense is for groceries, as an example.
I get where you're coming from, but that makes it a bit more complicated than it has to be in my mind. You can tell your employer to split your pay between multiple accounts so you can start at the source to pay into the joint account according to the agreed upon balance of funding (let's be real. If you work in IB/PE/HF/etc, but she's more holistic and became a teacher? There's gonna be some discrepancy there. But that's for them to figure out or wind up in counseling for). Plus, I would prognosticate there's some potential legal issues with your setup should they have to divorce. Hope it doesn't have to come to that of course! But mitigating risk is kind of in the job roles of 90%+ of us here on WSO.
Be prepared for the ticking time bomb in this marriage which is when the marriage enters the “empty nester phase”. Often times you will see the homemaker in the marriage (m or f) lacking a sense of purpose as there are no more children to raise or home to make. Would recommend finding something that fulfills you / or your spouse long before the children are gone so you avoid hitting the wall at 150.
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