Most annoying expressions heard in your office?

Getting things started with some classic gems, but maybe you guys have better ones:

  1. "I mean I"m not going to DIE IN A DITCH over this point, but would be nice to have," and the related, "Am I gonna FALL ON MY SWORD for this?" Where's the ditch? Are we Knights?

2.  "No need to BOIL THE OCEANS on the pitch materials, but let's include these 25 things..." Odd idiom.

3.  Starting every frickin call with, "SOUNDS LIKE THE BEEPS ARE SUBSIDING but maybe we'll give folks a few more moments to join..." We must compulsively fill silence with the same obvious blather. 

  1. As a preface (often to something obvious), "Just TO LEVEL-SET..."

  2. "We just wanted to BE THOUGHTFUL in outlining your options". Who can object to thoughtfulness and meaninglessness?

  3. "This is pretty MIDDLE OF THE FAIRWAY". Maybe it's time for a new arbitrarily determined sports analogy. Draw shot in curling?

  4. "They will need to be fully OPEN KIMONO during diligence." Too racist to be still in use? Nah

  5. "But are we PREGNANT with that pricing/deal term at this point?" Really?

32 Comments
 

I've heard this too! I just thought it was a lost-in-translation language barrier thing as it was always this dude whose first language wasn't English saying this - I just thought he mistook "down low" for "download".

 

“Fulsome analysis” - I fucking hate this one

“Well it looks like we have a quorum”

 

This. Like dude, your banker job isn't rocket science, you don't have to dress down the other person like that, the client is still top management of a big company and isn't a layman

 

You're supposed to say this so that the MD knows it is being progressed and if other juniors are copied on the email they know you're the one doing the task so they don't have to

 

"Do you have the bandwidth to take on this additional assignment?"

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 
RedWhiteAndWho

The overuse of the word "right?" after every statement

Riiiiiiiight

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 
Deal Team Six

This might be the worst one actually. If you've ever worked with someone extensively who ends every sentence with, "Right?????" you want to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge pretty quick

I swear it's a millennial thing.  I know right!!

 

You need to level set your attitude if you’re triggered by such mundane things. This is a miserable life you lead

Life is more than dollars
 

I heard a VP tell the CEO that he "didn't want us to get caught with our pants down."  The CEO, not missing a beat to a room full of men and women said, "Well, if we do, they can suck our d!ck!"

That said, I hate the expression, "Talk out of both sides of my mouth."

 

The number of fucking times I've been asked if I have "bandwidth" to assist on whatever stupid shit. 

Granted it's really only been one or two guys that overuse it - still annoying as fuck.

 

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