Most annoying expressions heard in your office?
Getting things started with some classic gems, but maybe you guys have better ones:
- "I mean I"m not going to DIE IN A DITCH over this point, but would be nice to have," and the related, "Am I gonna FALL ON MY SWORD for this?" Where's the ditch? Are we Knights?
2. "No need to BOIL THE OCEANS on the pitch materials, but let's include these 25 things..." Odd idiom.
3. Starting every frickin call with, "SOUNDS LIKE THE BEEPS ARE SUBSIDING but maybe we'll give folks a few more moments to join..." We must compulsively fill silence with the same obvious blather.
As a preface (often to something obvious), "Just TO LEVEL-SET..."
"We just wanted to BE THOUGHTFUL in outlining your options". Who can object to thoughtfulness and meaninglessness?
"This is pretty MIDDLE OF THE FAIRWAY". Maybe it's time for a new arbitrarily determined sports analogy. Draw shot in curling?
"They will need to be fully OPEN KIMONO during diligence." Too racist to be still in use? Nah
"But are we PREGNANT with that pricing/deal term at this point?" Really?
I heard the new term is “download” as in summarizing the information for someone, similar to giving someone the down-low. Now every senior sheep in my office is saying “download”. Drives me insane. Hate corporate speak, say what you mean
I've heard this too! I just thought it was a lost-in-translation language barrier thing as it was always this dude whose first language wasn't English saying this - I just thought he mistook "down low" for "download".
“Fulsome analysis” - I fucking hate this one
“Well it looks like we have a quorum”
In LaYmAn’s TeRmS…
This. Like dude, your banker job isn't rocket science, you don't have to dress down the other person like that, the client is still top management of a big company and isn't a layman
"Lipstick on a pig"
Let’s “Lean In” on this and get to work.
My “superpower” is high eq, so I feel what you are saying.
Saying “thanks” for everything
"Thanks. Will do."
What else are you supposed to say to an md that you almost very speak to?
You're supposed to say this so that the MD knows it is being progressed and if other juniors are copied on the email they know you're the one doing the task so they don't have to
Don’t spin the wheels too hard
Lets strike the iron while its still hot
"Illustrative"
I.e. we are just making stuff up and not putting deep intellectual thought into this. Just grinding out materials.
30,000 foot view
Once had an Associate who wasn’t a sports guy and would quietly ask me to explain any sports analogy that got dropped on a call. “Blocking and tackling”, “calling an audible” etc
"not from behind"
"Do you have the bandwidth to take on this additional assignment?"
“Let’s not reinvent the wheel here”
The overuse of the word "right?" after every statement
Riiiiiiiight
This might be the worst one actually. If you've ever worked with someone extensively who ends every sentence with, "Right?????" you want to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge pretty quick
I swear it's a millennial thing. I know right!!
"We have a lot of wood to chop"
Damn I’m extremely guilty of saying middle of the fairway that’s a go to for me
"We have to get [management team/owner/founder/etc] pregnant with the idea"
“singing from the same sheet of music”
“Bringing sand to the beach”
“building the plane while flying”
“Let’s burn that bridge when we get to it.”
You need to level set your attitude if you’re triggered by such mundane things. This is a miserable life you lead
I heard a VP tell the CEO that he "didn't want us to get caught with our pants down." The CEO, not missing a beat to a room full of men and women said, "Well, if we do, they can suck our d!ck!"
That said, I hate the expression, "Talk out of both sides of my mouth."
The number of fucking times I've been asked if I have "bandwidth" to assist on whatever stupid shit.
Granted it's really only been one or two guys that overuse it - still annoying as fuck.
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