My experience with Dating Apps (2013 to now)

Many dating apps in the market now: Tinder; Bumble; Hinge; League. And then there are some dedicated to particular ethnicities (for instance Muzmil or something), which caters to a niche market.  

Tinder -- I first used it in 2013 back when I was newly into my finance career. Those were early days and generally speaking there were "legitimate" folks on there. Between 2013 and 2015, high match rate overall, and I was being selective with whom I’d go on dates with, primarily because I had little free time outside of work and didn't want to go on dates just for the sake of going of going on dates. The one person I was the MOST keen on, but thanks to my own insecurities and never having been in a relationship before, ended up repelling this girl. Anyways, these were early Tinder days, and I was so happy that I’d matched with her on a random dating app (of all the possible mediums) that it was borderline surreal, so I’d told my friends that I’d met her through a common friend lol I don’t know how the algoithim works now, but many guy friends complain of matching with useless folks. I then used Tinder during grad school (between 16 and 18) to see how it had changed since 2015 and out of boredom (had no desire to be going on dates that involved one-night stands, but wanted to see which girls from my grad school class were on it, good way to tell whose looking for one-night stands). Two things I realized: it now had many "hookers", "fake accounts" showing up, and 2), many users weren't really loyal to any platform i.e. you'd find the same folks across different platforms (Tinder, Hinge, Bumble etc.). I recall matching with either many "fake" or "gold digger" type profiles, never pursued any of them for dates. But the cool thing about Tinder was the passport feature they had activated, but unfortunately for me, even though I tried switching back my geography to the UK (I was now based in the Midwest), couldn't match with this one person, whom I'd repelled   

Hinge / Bumble: Joined these again out of boredom too. Hated answering these stupid questions to stand out, I know why they make you do it, but it’s not my personality to be expressive and open on random apps. Some folks love it. Met up for dinner / drinks with a girl in Chicago, who worked in PE. Had common friends, and even though I had 0 interest in dating her, thought seems like a good way to kill time and learn more about this person’s industry (I was treating it more as a business meeting). Most intense meet-up I have ever been to, seemed more like a 4 hour due diligence session in play here (how’re your relations with your family; do you get along with your sister; what are your five year plans). I have never experienced this kind of intensity, but realized that something could be massively off about chicks from my ethnicity who work in finance. Nice person overall, but I have never ever felt on the spot as I did then. Didn’t want to not give the impression that I was dying inside, so ended up asking some stupid question to turn her off. Worked like a charm, as I think it led us to end the “meeting” on a good note, but devoid of any romantic feelings as I’d have originally intended. I was a bit worried though that our common friends might learn of my stupid question, and so I still followed up once or twice after that to test the waters. Thankfully, all was in the clear.

Most weirdest experience was with some nut-case nurse through Bumble in Chicago. Maybe others have had this too, but I have never met anyone, who just expects you to front the bill (including the stuff she ordered), is a meth-addict (my mind was blown away when she told me this, I don’t know anyone who does meth and it’s not something to be proud of that you’d be openly telling some stranger you met for the first time), and then asks you to walk her home (unfortunately for me, I think I am a gentleman, and so I couldn’t just tell her to fuck off, so I did walk her home). She was clearly looking for a one-night stand, reach her place, and she’s like “Why don’t you come upstairs”. At this point, I am incredibly mad at my wasted money and time, so I tell her politely, “maybe another day”. I texted her a few weeks or a month later, asking “what’s up”, but didn’t get a response, so as I had hoped, my message had been communicated. The weirdest person I have ever gone on a date with, had done so much due diligence on my industry (was telling me about these suicide stories that she’d read, and in my head I am thinking just because you’re a meth addict and have a higher rate of failure relative to normal people, you don’t need to be telling me this kind of stuff). I have a feeling that she was an illegal in the country because I remember her asking me about my citizenship status (“how the hell is that relevant to anything”).

The most daring I have ever been on Bumble is when I matched with some chick a year ago in Canada, who without me trying hard at all, conveniently gave me her number. This seemed too easy, so I was skeptical that this person was looking for a one-night stand too, and since I wasn't keen on one night stands, I decided to run an experiment, to see how would women react if you'd just call them out of the blue, rather than exchange silly messages to setup a date where you could finally hear the other person's voice, and decide whether this was worth anything. I ended up calling her randomly one day, and I think it had taken her by surprise. No shock there as she seemed immature...Someone closer to my age (29-32) would have actually preferred a direct call I think than wasting time over messages. I hate texting.  

League: I think I signed up on League for fun, but never really activated my profile or anything. I did briefly join it during my analyst days in London, and recall matching with a bunch of Russian / Eastern European girls dressed up in bikinis, fully clothed in designer stuff, who’d continuously send messages that had long overdrawn similes (colon followed by a thousand right parenthesis). I think they were incapable of talking more or saying anything even remotely intelligent, so they had to resort to similes to try convey that they were following you. Never went on any date even though I theoretically could have. Very weird women. Any time you come across a woman on any of these dating apps , who is loaded up on make-up and designer stuff, massive, massive red flag. Supposedly this kind of shit sells in that part of the world

TDLR: Tinder was good back in its early days (still trying to get back together with this one person, but no response), Bumble and Hinge try too hard with their stupid personality questionnaires; try to avoid chicks, who work in high-finance, be wary of women, who in their profile pictures are laden with make up and / or “fancy” stuff and / or only have pictures in the nicest locations and in revealing outfits. 

PS: Other single, platonic dates that I have been on I didn't even realize it was a date I'd setup until the other person texted me "Thanks for x, let's do this again" or randomly kissed me in the end. Easy to send the wrong vibes to women, so go to be super careful...