15 Comments
 

bathroom stall for self-care, duh. this is a fail troll, you can do better.

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee
 
IBNazi D M:

bathroom stall for self-care, duh. this is a fail troll, you can do better.

I'm actually serious. You can look through my post history.

I just never understood how an Investment Banker is married, yet alone has kids. Where do they get time?

You've never heard of quickies?

 
CoochieMane IBNazi: D M:

bathroom stall for self-care, duh. this is a fail troll, you can do better.

I'm actually serious. You can look through my post history.

I just never understood how an Investment Banker is married, yet alone has kids. Where do they get time?

You've never heard of quickies?

But who do they do it with? I can't imagine they find people during their lunch break.

Once I did bad and that I heard ever. Twice I did good and that I heard never.
 
IBNazi CoochieMane: IBNazi: D M:

bathroom stall for self-care, duh. this is a fail troll, you can do better.

I'm actually serious. You can look through my post history.

I just never understood how an Investment Banker is married, yet alone has kids. Where do they get time?

You've never heard of quickies?

But who do they do it with? I can't imagine they find people during their lunch break.

Client # 9.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne
 
Best Response
heister IBNazi: CoochieMane: IBNazi: D M:

bathroom stall for self-care, duh. this is a fail troll, you can do better.

I'm actually serious. You can look through my post history.

I just never understood how an Investment Banker is married, yet alone has kids. Where do they get time?

You've never heard of quickies?

But who do they do it with? I can't imagine they find people during their lunch break.

Client # 9.

Interesting. Do most IB people marry their clients?

Once I did bad and that I heard ever. Twice I did good and that I heard never.
 

There's a big difference between an IB analyst/associate and VP/MD. Analyst is in the office averaging 80 hours/week. MD might be on the road 2 days, in the office for 10 hours/day for 3 days, and/or work from home some of the time. Analysts usually don't have families, and if they do, it can definitely be stressful.

Also, lots of higher-level folks on WS have relationship issues, probably more so than your average American.

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee
 
D M

There's a big difference between an IB analyst/associate and VP/MD. Analyst is in the office averaging 80 hours/week. MD might be on the road 2 days, in the office for 10 hours/day for 3 days, and/or work from home some of the time. Analysts usually don't have families, and if they do, it can definitely be stressful.

Also, lots of higher-level folks on WS have relationship issues, probably more so than your average American.

Ah this explains it. So people don't start getting relationships until they are 30's and 40's? But I guess by then they are millionaires so they could just retiree and be hardcore family oriented.

Glad we closed the case on this conundrum.

Once I did bad and that I heard ever. Twice I did good and that I heard never.
 
IBNazi heister: IBNazi: CoochieMane: IBNazi: D M:

bathroom stall for self-care, duh. this is a fail troll, you can do better.

I'm actually serious. You can look through my post history.

I just never understood how an Investment Banker is married, yet alone has kids. Where do they get time?

You've never heard of quickies?

But who do they do it with? I can't imagine they find people during their lunch break.

Client # 9.

Interesting. Do most IB people marry their clients?

SMH, you seriously don't know anything do you?

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne
 

Let's be glad dudes like this are out there, brosephs. If the applicant pool for IB had the same professional acumen as our OP does on this topic, we'd all be sipping mai tai's on a beach right now.

So go find yourself a few people to "engage" in "sexual activity" with. The competition is not nearly as difficult as it is in your career.

in it 2 win it
 
Kassad

Let's be glad dudes like this are out there, brosephs. If the applicant pool for IB had the same professional acumen as our OP does on this topic, we'd all be sipping mai tai's on a beach right now.

So go find yourself a few people to "engage" in "sexual activity" with. The competition is not nearly as difficult as it is in your career.

Are you trying to imply something?

Once I did bad and that I heard ever. Twice I did good and that I heard never.
 
IBNazi Kassad:

Let's be glad dudes like this are out there, brosephs. If the applicant pool for IB had the same professional acumen as our OP does on this topic, we'd all be sipping mai tai's on a beach right now.

So go find yourself a few people to "engage" in "sexual activity" with. The competition is not nearly as difficult as it is in your career.

Are you trying to imply something?

lol

 

At itaque beatae qui est ratione velit perspiciatis. Architecto qui sed voluptatem et saepe. Nulla in aut iusto corporis excepturi explicabo. Neque quo ducimus sit adipisci voluptas temporibus.

Cumque voluptatem et similique aut numquam dolorem officia. Ipsum ipsum suscipit ut sapiente sed dicta. Eligendi debitis facilis qui nostrum aut velit. Optio dolor quaerat aut.

Nihil vel autem praesentium dolor soluta. Enim consectetur vel voluptate voluptates itaque. Doloremque eligendi dicta autem voluptas est. Et praesentium quia qui sed qui. Facere eos quos animi voluptatibus distinctio. Odio iure voluptates ipsum vel. Rem facilis commodi quibusdam reprehenderit.

Career Advancement Opportunities

June 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.4%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • JPMorgan 01 98.3%
  • Guggenheim Partners 01 97.7%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

June 2026 Investment Banking

  • Moelis & Company No 99.4%
  • Morgan Stanley 02 98.8%
  • Evercore 01 98.3%
  • BMO Capital Markets 12 97.7%
  • Banco Santander 01 97.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

June 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.4%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.8%
  • Morgan Stanley 05 98.3%
  • JPMorgan No 97.7%
  • BMO Capital Markets 12 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

June 2026 Investment Banking

  • Vice President (14) $434
  • Associates (44) $258
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (8) $210
  • 2nd Year Analyst (22) $179
  • Intern/Summer Associate (13) $156
  • 1st Year Analyst (78) $151
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (73) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
3
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
4
kanon's picture
kanon
99.0
5
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
6
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
7
DrApeman's picture
DrApeman
98.9
8
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
9
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
98.9
10
Jamoldo's picture
Jamoldo
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”