OFFICIAL prestige-caller 2018 prestige rankings

Most Prestigious Cities:

Gods of Prestige: New York, Hong Kong, London
Very Prestigious: Chicago, San Francisco, Singapore, Zurich, Frankfurt
Prestigious: Charlotte, Houston, Atlanta, Washington D.C., Boston
Meh: Los Angeles, Dallas, Miami, Minneapolis, Philadelphia
Fck Your Life: Baltimore, New Jersey (The whole fckin' state), Seattle, Kansas City, etc.

Most Prestigious Jobs:

Automatic HandJob: Hedge Fund Manager, Corp PE MegaFund Associate, Venture Capital Investor
Impress Your Girlfriend's Father: REPE Associate, Bulge Bracket Investment Banker, MBB Consultant, Quantitative Analyst, Bulge Bracket Sales & Trading
Worth a Hand-Job: REIT Associate, Wealth Manager, Boutique Investment Banker, Big 4 Consultant, F500 Corporate Finance, Investment Sales, Proprietary Trading
Even Your Own Mother's Not Impressed: Accountant, Operations, Back Office Tech Guy, Risk Staff, Brokerage

Most Prestigious Vacation Home Locations:

Primary WASP Market: Nantucket, Bridgehampton, Aspen, Maui
Limited Upper-Middle Class Riff-Raff: Martha's Vineyard, Easthampton, Palm Beach, Orange County, South Beach, Yosemite
Satisfactorily Gentrified: Vail/Keystone/Breckenridge, Charleston SC, Salt Lake City/Park City
What Are You, 16?: All MD/DE Beaches, Outer Banks, Smokey Mountains Cabins, Disney World,

Most Prestigious Universities

Divine Prestige: UVA
Peak Mortal Achievement: Ivy Leagues, MIT, Chicago, Williams
Commendable Prestige: Duke, UNC, Notre Dame, USC, Berkeley, Georgetown, Carnegie Mellon
Kinda Neat: Wake Forest, Vanderbilt, NYU, Michigan
Hope You Enjoyed High School, Failure: Georgia Tech, SEC Schools (Minus Vandy), Indiana, Wisconsin, Pretty Much All Public Schools Outside of the Top 10

Most Prestigious Methods of Transportation

Tired of Winning: Helicopter, Private Jet, Tesla
Incredibly Affluent: Sailboat, Yacht, Inter-Dimensional Time Travel (Best kept secret of the super-rich)
Prestigious Enough: European Sports Car, Motorboat, Doorless Antique Jeep, 1970s Muscle Car
Where Do You Work Again?: Mustang/Charger/Corvette, Pick-Up Truck, Hondas,

Most Prestigious Breakfasts

Diet of a King: Eggs Benedict With Caviar/Lox, Cup of Espresso and Cream, Fresh-Fruit Crepes With Gourmet Icing on Top
Breakfast of a Champ: Two Cups of Black Coffee On An Empty Stomach, Over-Easy Eggs with Fresh Sausage, French Sounding Pastries
Mildly Prestigious Way To Start The Day: Mimosas, Everything Bagel and Lox, Catered Breakfast at the Office, Leftovers From Last Nights Expensive Restaurant Dinner
Grow The F*ck Up Kid: Adderall (srsly, grow up), 5-Hour Energy, Red Bull, Anything Microwaved

2018 Fiscal Year Prestige Brackets By First Year Salary

Elite: $200,000+
BSD In Training: $150,000 - $199,999
Still Prestigious To the Common Man: $90,000 - $150,000
Child's Play: $65,000 - $90,000
Destined For Mediocrity (No One Will Ever Love You): WSO Prestige Rankings. Do you feel slighted? Degraded? Undervalued? Good, you should. That's it for tonight's presentation- and remember kids - no matter how prestigious you are, there is ALWAYS someone out there with more than you, and it is healthy to internalize the learned inferiority you feel from this.*

Comments (134)

Best Response
4y
Max Heiliger, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Let me guess, you're a UVA grad working in Real Estate in Charlotte making roughly $90k and you're excited about driving your new basic package model 3 to your next vacation in Charleston.

"There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. You can't do business from there." - Colonel Sanders
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4y
Esuric, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Nailed it.

“Elections are a futures market for stolen property”
  • 5
4y
tutran, what's your opinion? Comment below:

+SB

“If you're afraid - don't do it, if you're doing it - don't be afraid!” ― Genghis Khan
  • 1
4y
Isaiah_53_5 💎🙌💎🙌💎, what's your opinion? Comment below:
Max Heiliger:
Let me guess, you're a UVA grad working in Real Estate in Charlotte making roughly $90k and you're excited about driving your new basic package model 3 to your next vacation in Charleston.

I created a mosaic theory with the same result, except my findings depicted him in a white convertible BMW 1 Series, wind in his hair riding down I-26 South (to Charleston).

UVA sticker on the bumper, no doubt. 80% chance boat shoes or pastel colors are involved.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

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4y
PrestigeCaller, what's your opinion? Comment below:
Isaiah_53_5:
wind in his hair

Most Prestigious Haircuts

Vintage Finance Hair: American Psycho/Gordon Gekko Slick BackNew Era Prestige: Combover (See Jared Kushner)Associate Cut: The Jew-Fro, Medium-Length Hair Pushed To The Side, Razor Thin Buzz Cut (See Jason Chathom) Back-Office Look: Receding Hairline Without A Buzzcut (Paired With A Brown Suit), Hair Long Enough To Hang, Completely Bald, The Man Bun

4y
Keyser Söze 123, what's your opinion? Comment below:
Max Heiliger:
Let me guess, you're a UVA grad working in Real Estate in Charlotte making roughly $90k and you're excited about driving your new basic package model 3 to your next vacation in Charleston.

Roasted. +SB

"A man can convince anyone he's somebody else, but never himself."
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4y
BobTheBaker, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I laughed, "automatic blowjob" and "tired of winning" were especially humorous. +1

Array

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4y
GridironCEO, what's your opinion? Comment below:

the lil son of a bitch probably isn't even in McIntire. His admission to UVA could be impressive had he been out of state, but he's probably just an upper middle class kid from souther VA. Even North Virginia high schooler admissions to UVA is a bit impressive, most likely from the south.

Oh yeah, kid also definitely didn't live on "The Lawn" as a senior.

Yea I know a thing or two about UVA. I got in, but fuck that place, because I went somewhere else, somewhere... PRESTIGIOUS!

We're not lawyers. We're investment bankers. We didn't go to Harvard. We Went to Wharton!
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Controversial
4y
IlliniProgrammer, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I am asserting a prestige category above yours'.

Prestigious vehicles: Rusty Honda Hang Glider

Prestigious cities: Chicago Milwaukee Holland, MI***

Prestigious vacation destinations: Anywhere on Lake Michigan, especially the Sleeping Bear Dunes or Washington Island (Midwestern rednecks' Nantucket)

Prestigious schools: UIUC (duh) > Big Ten >>> UVA

Back to my hang glider and rusty honda. Enjoy your M-series and yacht.

4y
BobTheBaker, what's your opinion? Comment below:

You went to Princeton, the most preftigious school there is imo (no MBA program adds more preftige). Don't act coy about your preftige credentials.

Array

4y
IlliniProgrammer, what's your opinion? Comment below:
BobTheBaker:
You went to Princeton, the most preftigious school there is imo (no MBA program adds more preftige). Don't act coy about your preftige credentials.

Princeton, the best engineering school in the Ivy League (which is not necessarily saying a great deal), changed its typset to use S in 1793. When are the rest of the liberal arts schools going to catch up?

Also, 2/3 of the grad students at Princeton did their undergrads at state schools. We'll let the undergrads keep the prestige, but state schoolers do much of the actual research behind that prestige. :-)

Seriously, I'm proud of my MFE, but I'm more proud of my UIUC Comp. Sci. undergrad-- the same way I think most grad students feel about their undergrads.

4y
PrestigeCaller, what's your opinion? Comment below:
IlliniProgrammer:

Prestigious schools: UIUC (duh) > Big Ten >>> UVA

I am calling the Secret Prestige Police now, you will shortly be disposed of and sent to Camp-Prestige for ten years of hard labor.

4y
Black Knight, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Nice

I would... but the truth is I can't sell my soul to myself... http://www.investopedia.com/terms/b/blackknight.asp
4y
Pump and Dump, what's your opinion? Comment below:
IlliniProgrammer:
I am asserting a prestige category above yours'.

Prestigious vehicles: Rusty Honda Hang Glider

Prestigious cities: Chicago Milwaukee Holland, MI***

Prestigious vacation destinations: Anywhere on Lake Michigan, especially the Sleeping Bear Dunes or Washington Island (Midwestern rednecks' Nantucket)

Prestigious schools: UIUC (duh) > Big Ten >>> UVA

Back to my hang glider and rusty honda. Enjoy your M-series and yacht.

IlliniProgrammer what is it with you and a Rusty Honda?

Array

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4y
Tas., what's your opinion? Comment below:

My dude where do you usually glide? I'm about to start taking some lessons and start gliding in NorCal

4y
BobTheBaker, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Chill, don't mess with Texas bro. Where would you rank Seattle?

Array

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4y
Dances With Newfoundland, what's your opinion? Comment below:
BobTheBaker:
Chill, don't mess with Texas bro. Where would you rank Seattle?

Texas has no state or city tax, which is great. And good Mexican food. But for singles who are not from the state originally, the social and cultural scene isn't that great. I'm not saying it's bad, but it's all relative. Dallas/Houston/Austin are better than a lot of U.S. cities but far below NYC, Chicago, and LA.

4y
PrestigeCaller, what's your opinion? Comment below:

LA is too suburban and suburbs, while safe and convenient, are simply not that prestigious. Because of LA's suburban sprawl, it generally requires one of the less prestigious methods of transportation to travel, as driving oneself is far less prestigious than paying a driver to take you a few blocks.

For these reasons and others, LA is ultimately a more prestigious place to vacation and/or raise a family than it is to work in.

4y
urmaaam, what's your opinion? Comment below:

LA is just a different kind of work, it's not for the socially inept quants who need money or jobs to talk to bitches. LA's currency is social prestige, who you know and what favors you can get make actual dollars a thing of the past.

4y
Redacted, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Lol at Chicago above SF

"I know you think you understand what you thought I said but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant."

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4y
traderlife, what's your opinion? Comment below:

San. Francisco can't recruit chicks. Chicks are usually the best judge of prestige.

Based on that method I come up nyc, la, Miami's as the most prestigious.

4y
Redacted, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Lol

"I know you think you understand what you thought I said but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant."

4y
PrestigeCaller, what's your opinion? Comment below:

LA is too suburban and suburbs, while safe and convenient, are simply not that prestigious. Because of LA's suburban sprawl, it generally requires one of the less prestigious methods of transportation to travel, as driving oneself is far less prestigious than paying a driver to take you a few blocks.

For these reasons and others, LA is ultimately a more prestigious place to vacation and/or raise a family then it is to work in. Because of your concerns we have decided to add another bracket to the list:

Most Prestigious Places to Raise a FamilyRoyalty: Charlottesville, Virginia Upper 1%: Orange County, Upper-West Side, Greenwich, New Canaan, BuckheadAmerican Dream: Buckhead, Northern Virginia, Chicago-Suburbs, DFW-SuburbsSlightly Increased Possibility of Raising at Least One Failure: Anywhere in Maryland, The Entire Midwest Excluding Greater Chicago Suburbs, The Southeast Excluding Virginia

4y
BobTheBaker, what's your opinion? Comment below:

"Slightly Increased Possibility of Raising at Least One Failure"

LMAO!

Array

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4y
Dances With Newfoundland, what's your opinion? Comment below:
PrestigeCaller:
LA is too suburban and suburbs, while safe and convenient, are simply not that prestigious. Because of LA's suburban sprawl, it generally requires one of the less prestigious methods of transportation to travel, as driving oneself is far less prestigious than paying a driver to take you a few blocks.

For these reasons and others, LA is ultimately a more prestigious place to vacation and/or raise a family then it is to work in. Because of your concerns we have decided to add another bracket to the list:

Most Prestigious Places to Raise a FamilyRoyalty: Charlottesville, Virginia Upper 1%: Orange County, Upper-West Side, Greenwich, New Canaan, BuckheadAmerican Dream: Buckhead, Northern Virginia, Chicago-Suburbs, DFW-SuburbsSlightly Increased Possibility of Raising at Least One Failure: Anywhere in Maryland, The Entire Midwest Excluding Greater Chicago Suburbs, The Southeast Excluding Virginia

Orange County is massive, so you need to break it down more. Newport Beach, for instance, is not even in the same universe as Anaheim.

Buckhead? LOL. It's "upscale" by the standards of the Deep South, but it's not prestigious by any stretch of the imagination.

Chicago's north shore suburbs are super elite and highly underrated. Lake Forest, Kenilworth, Winnetka, Glencoe, are amongst the best suburbs in the country.

4y
Yankee Doodle, what's your opinion? Comment below:

San Francisco is not prestigious at all. Tech engineers are bottom feeders.

"Work ethic, work ethic" - Vince Vaughn

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4y
Redacted, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Haha someone's got a bit of chip on their shoulder :)

"I know you think you understand what you thought I said but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant."

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4y
Synergy_or_Syzygy, what's your opinion? Comment below:

LOL @ Beverly Hills below Charlotte. Keep hating, NorCal.

Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes.
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4y
BobTheBaker, what's your opinion? Comment below:

PrestigeCaller I just noticed your Astros world series picture, beautiful. Very prestigious.

Array

4y
PrestigeCaller, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Naturally, baseball is the most prestigious sport to hold season tickets for. Football is too redneck, Hockey too obscure and Basketball too....errr...."urban"

4y
Dances With Newfoundland, what's your opinion? Comment below:
PrestigeCaller:
Naturally, baseball is the most prestigious sport to hold season tickets for. Football is too redneck, Hockey too obscure and Basketball too....errr...."urban"

MLB playoffs are prestigious, but regular season sucks. Hockey is the most enjoyable major sport to watch in person.

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4y
BobTheBaker, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Master of the Universe: Amazon - Corporate Finance

Array

4y
Ragnarok1234, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Tesla over S600 Maybach/Rolls Royce means OP failed immediately.

4y
PrestigeCaller, what's your opinion? Comment below:

OP also has his Algos rigged so everytime someone mentions "Tesla" we buy another share and manipulate the price higher.

4y
OkComputer, what's your opinion? Comment below:

PrestigeCaller would you mind ranking MBA programs as well? I'll need a definitive list in the next couple of years.

Asking for a friend.

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." --Abraham Lincoln
4y
PrestigeCaller, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Most Prestigious Graduate Degrees

God Tier: Any UVA Degree

Prestigious Enough To Make Asian Parents Proud: Med School, Tier 1 Law School, Harvard/Upenn/MIT Business School

Upper Bounds of Human Achievement: Chicago/Northwestern/Stanford/Berkely/Dartmouth/Columbia/Yale

Worth Taking Out The Loans For: Michigan/Duke/NYU/UCLA/Cornell/UT-Austin/UNC/Carnegie Melon/Emory/Georgetown/Indiania/Washington University/USC/Vanderbilt/Rice/Notre Dame

God Forbid You Have Asian Parents, You Will Be Forced To Commit Seppuku: Ohio State/University of Washington/Penn State/Wisconsin/Texas A&M/BYU/Boston College/Arizona State/U of Arizona

Hot Garbage UIUC, Whatever School IlliniProgrammer Whore Mother Went To

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4y
urmaaam, what's your opinion? Comment below:

UPenn over Stanford?

Is joke, no?

MIT for a grad you basically failed the hacker test...

4y
PrestigeCaller, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Most Prestigious Parking Spaces

Executive Suite: Reserved Space With Your Own Sign Outside The OfficeMaster of Capitalism: Reverse Parking Your BMW In The Handicap ZoneBourgeois: Unassigned Garage SpotProletariat: Street

4y
PrestigeCaller, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Most Prestigious Dinners:

God Tier: UVA Dining HallFeast of a King: Kobe Beef, Wagyu, Bluefin Tuna, Octopus (Tentacle), Oysters, Fugu (Pufferfish), Pasta With Squid Ink, Swallows Nest Soup (Must Try)Diesel Fuel: Lamb, Filet Mignon, Pasta With Mussels, Garlic & White Wine Sauce, Lobster, Escargot, Cioppino, Raw Tuna (When Wrapped In Seaweed - As With Sushi - Becomes One Tier Less Prestigious) Ole Stand-Bys: Prime Rib, T-Bone, Pasta Pesto, Gnocci With Cream/Mushroom Sauce, Roast Chicken, Sicilian Pizza, Chipoltle Burrito, Authentic Ramen From Chinatown, Seared Salmon/Halibut"Up-And-Coming": Gourmet Mac n Cheese, Gourmet Grilled Cheese, Eggs Benedict
Trash: Frozen Anything, Store-Bought Pasta Sauce, Breaded/Fried Chicken, Meat Loaf, Lasagna, Dominoes/Papa Johns/Pizza Hut, Q'Doba

4y
PrestigeCaller, what's your opinion? Comment below:

*From "Shithole Scandal" Thread

PrestigeCaller:
Most Prestigious Shithole Countries To Vacation At

Bosses Only: Zanzibar, Belize, Barbados, Cape VerdeMake Your Back Office Co-Workers Jealous With Your Instagram Pics: Jamaica, Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico, Costa Rica Ballin' On a Budget but Not Impressing Anybody: Florida (Not a Country; Still a Shithole), Mexico (Cancun),

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4y
ThiccPik, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Oh man, this thread has me dying.

How about for High Schools - both to attend and to send your kids?

Array

4y
BobTheBaker, what's your opinion? Comment below:

high schools bro..? really? Is this only an east coast thing where people care about this shit.. or what? My HS was avg af but ik ppl at HBS/ Wharton from my graduating class, residencies at duke department of medicine... etc

Array

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4y
ThiccPik, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Yea Bob, I know you're not Mayflower Material, you don't have to keep telling everyone.

I just want to hear more about UVA Prep, or if waitlisted, maybe Exeter.

Array

4y
Hayek, what's your opinion? Comment below:

It's "East Hampton" (not "Easthampton") you fucking prole.

4y
Yankee Doodle, what's your opinion? Comment below:

2018 Prestige Rankings: Religion

Predestined: Presbyterianism, Dutch Reformed, Unitarianism

The Old Row: Episcopalianism/Anglicanism, Lutheranism, Methodism

Good for Networking: Judaism, Mormonism, Scientology, various rich people cults and secret societies

Just because your dad owns a store doesn't mean you're well-bred: Catholicism, Baptists, Hinduism

Creepy/Psychotic/Violent: Pentecostalism, Evangelicalism, Islam

"Work ethic, work ethic" - Vince Vaughn

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4y
Blake w Mitch and Murrary, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I know the Episcopal Church has been wrecked by an SJW dominated clergy, but inbelieve more US presidents have been Episcopalian than any other denomination. Surely it deserves a place in the predestined tier.

At the very least separate from the Methodist Church. That's like the club Corp of churches.

4y
John10Smith, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Even though this is something that is very interesting and hilarious. I find it very inspirational, even though i am not working and currently looking out for work, i think this would be motivational anyone that is ambitious

  • 1
4y
Billion with a B, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Not gonna lie, I agree with this whole thing, exactly as pretentious as it is. These are my thoughts summed up exactly.

Even the UVA thing, I believe to be 100% accurate in a very unusual way. There's a string of LinkedIn hotties that all went to UVA, work in major IBs, and look like they got in through connections and a perfect set of legs.

Tesla is definitely the car that guys in sweaters with a blazer on top drive because, who gives a fuck about needing to get around? Needing to get around is for the working class. Those guys just drive because it's 'interesting'.

DC and Boston are like adults drinking old fashions or tom Collins from all their privileged loads of cash, while NYC, London, and HK are instant, and constant pussy, because you're young and attractive.

4y
Rhinopithecus, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I'm pretty sure the UVA thing is troll but ok

4y
abacab, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Same reason you can call your school Top 5 even though some random publication may rank it as #12 or #2 on any given year. But basically the tiers are pretty clear.

Array
4y
moshennik, what's your opinion? Comment below:

PwC is large.. we do a lot of things.. from high level strategy consulting all the way down to multi-year implementations. If you end up working with mostly Diamond people you will have very similar experience as @ MBB... a little less $.

4y
Bullet-Tooth Tony, what's your opinion? Comment below:
moshennik:
PwC is large.. we do a lot of things.. from high level strategy consulting all the way down to multi-year implementations. If you end up working with mostly Diamond people you will have very similar experience as @ MBB... a little less $.

Similar experience, less money, lower quality exit opps, less prestige on the resume.

But, it's still a solid offer and a good firm.

4y
Longtermbankerwannabee, what's your opinion? Comment below:

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Et atque quia id quisquam. Qui aut dolorem enim veniam voluptatem eveniet autem. Voluptatem quo est exercitationem.

4y
Caribou_Slobber, what's your opinion? Comment below:

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4y
AlfieTheDog, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Saepe aut vero et neque aut quibusdam consectetur. Fugit animi dignissimos ad corrupti quis. Qui recusandae et ab. Ipsam non non id facere quidem repudiandae. Natus aut voluptatibus est quasi fugit repellat mollitia.

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Placeat natus et consequatur explicabo quibusdam veritatis. Quae illo distinctio aut. Ad omnis ipsam omnis eos.

4y
BillMurray, what's your opinion? Comment below:

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