Old boss, who pushed me out, reaches out now that I am a client
2 years back, my old boss pushed me out (replacing me with someone else and making my life really miserable). I ended up going to another smaller bank and recently made my move to the buy-side.
Now, my old boss reaches out to me and is all super nice to me, telling me about how excited he is to continue the dialogue. I know the guy doesn't have my back, screwed me over and honestly I dont want to talk to him. I am just weighing how to respond, given people ask around for reference from prior bosses. Which is the best option here:
1) I answer his emails and appear nice to him, but don't give him any business or reach out to him by myself. This keeps him happy and perhaps he doesn't screw me over if anyone asks him about me, in the future?
2) I just dont respond to texts, emails. Zero response whatsoever (Risk that he shits on me if someone does a bg check and reaches out to him, in the future)
3) I just say FU to him on his face and deal with consequences of a burnt bridge
4) Be nice and give him a little bit of business
1 for sure. Keeps him in the back pocket for the future if you ever need to pull a favor, even if you don't plan on returning it.
But really is he going to do me any favors? I mean the guy is a dishonest prick (def more on the slimier side of Wall Street) and also pushed me out (would probably have fired me if I had stayed another 6 months)
Are you asking if a banker has ever generated meaningless work or tried to pull some favor in hopes of securing a complete long-shot?
1 or 2. Depends if you could benefit from the relationship. If he's at a bucket shop tell him GFY. If he's at a bank whose research you'd like to have access to, kindly tell him to set you up for the research portal and on the relevant distros [then GFY]. Don't do anything to reduce performance in your current role/ not maximize your role as a fiduciary to your LPs out of spite so if you need something from him, play along only enough to get what you want. Obviously you won't forget who you're dealing with though and now you're in the driver's seat.
'on' his face? wow dude you brought this to another level....
Nothing personal, just business.
In general I advocate for not burning bridges. You don’t get anything from it; if you tell him off you’ll feel better for a few mins and that’s about it. That isn’t to say to give him business, I would not pass anything his way, but you don’t need to start cursing him off.
The only time I’ve burned a bridge was when I was senior enough where I was very sure in my position and the person was so terrible I had to tell them they weren’t getting anything from our “friendship” (as nicely as I could). Outside of that I would generally just ignore or be nice but not send business.
Dream situation. Good for you, that's awesome. I say you do a hybrid of 1. Respond to him. Be nice. Wish him well. Let him keep coming to you, encourage him to keep pitching to you, get him to do some free research for you. Use him for whatever value you can get out of him. Let him suck up to you and kiss your ass. Keep stringing him along, but never give him a dime. Just toy with him and make him dance for you, and he gets nothing out of it.
I think this means you win the breakup. Don't do 2 or 3 because it'll show that he still bothers.
Sounds like he needs a reference from you at this time.
Play him like fiddle. Keep him happy, but don't give him any business. Unless it's really lucrative for your firm I guess. But he sounds like the kind of guy who will go back to being a douche once you're no longer useful.
Its less about a reference, but that I am in a spot that can give him more business. Obviously, he is a douchebag and only cares about himself (more than most people).
1
You can either do 2 or... it depends does his bank have really good research? You can always reach out to someone from the bank but say you don't want to work with said MD because he was disrespectful to you and want nothing to do with him. This will make him look really bad, but puts you in a good light because you're willing to do business with a firm that will offer benefits to your current company even though this MD was a piece of shit. I would wait to develop a good relationship with people in your current group and then when the time comes you can ruin his rep.
Dream situation. I’d just ignore the guy. If he pushed you out he’s not giving you a good reference anyways.
- not an intern
personally i'll go 4 if he does good work and maybe wait until i have more leverage to fuck him over for real (if you incline to do so)
depends on how personal this is for you i guess
1 is the move, maybe even just ignoring it if you really can’t stand the guy. As temporarily gratifying as it may feel, there is zero upside to being a dick to him - saying this as someone who burned many bridges in his early 20s. Just keep crushing it and don’t give him a penny IMO.
4 - It wasn't right what he did, but why hold a grudge.
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