Poop transplants are the new steroids of sports

The world of athletes is one where being the best is well the only thing anyone really strives for. Not just for the money but for that personal feeling of accomplishment. For as long as sports have been around, forms of cheating have followed. It looks like now those ways of cheating have a bit too extreme. As the article by nypost states;

Apparently, getting a fecal transplant from a competitive cyclist can boost your body’s ability to convert food into energy, at least according to microbiologist Lauren Petersen.

Now you're probably wondering, how in the hell did she discover this? It turns out that Lauren had Lyme disease and after aggressive treatment via anti-biotics, it helped ease the disease. The downside was that she had no microbes to help her digest her food, and upon having her stomach tested found traces of E.coli.

She did what any sane person would think of doing, she gave herself a fecal transplant from a competitive cyclist. The article goes on to report that;

The results were astounding. Shortly after the transplant, she was able to train five days a week instead of her usual two and she was able to move from amateur to pro endurance bike racing.

This had something to do with a microorganism called Prevotella, that is commonly found in only the top of percentage of athletes.

She plans to help change the cycling world, and all competitive sports.

What do you all think about this, seeing as you could go from a coach potato to feeling like an athlete with one poop transplant.

25 Comments
 

Yeah, but nowadays you can ingest it directly via tablets.

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."
 

Is there a Shit bank I can donate to? Maybe it is called UBS. United Bank of Shit?

Only two sources I trust, Glenn Beck and singing woodland creatures.
 

[quote="Thomas Pynchon"] The New Yorker did a few years back. Recommend reading the next time you have explosive diarrhea at 3am after too much Chipotle:

chipotle sits just fine with me , thank you very much

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 
"Thomas Pynchon" explosive diarrhea at 3am after too much Chipotle:

That just sounds shitty.

"There's nothing you can do if you're too scared to try." - Nickel Creek
 

Fecal transplants have solved all kinds of health issues, not just increased athletic performance. People on the Standard American Diet trash their gut microbiomes (many are trash from birth due to unhealthy mothers, oversanitization, and C-sections) and then are confused why they have poor health. So you force a colony of healthy bacteria in there. Doesn't work unless lifestyle changes as well.

heister: Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad. https://arthuxtable.com/
 
Best Response

So telling someone to "eat shit" will now mean you care for someone's health. Like you may start saying that to your mom now out of genuine concern for her health.

 

LOL this deserved a SB

Just an Undergrad trying to get a job. Something you disagree or dislike about my posts? Let me know by PM'ing me or commenting constructive criticism.
 

...and here I was thinking that the Camel Crew was advanced...

I'm talking about liquid. Rich enough to have your own jet. Rich enough not to waste time. Fifty, a hundred million dollars, buddy. A player. Or nothing. See my Blog & AMA
 

This is reasonably solid journalism on a scientific advancement that hasn't received due attention. Not everything is Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un you know.

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."
 

We'll be seeing more of Crap Volumes/EBITDA then

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."
 

The next big thing? Interorectogestion. You shove food up your arse, and poop out your mouth. It'll revolutionize the nutrition and supplement industry.

And toilet paper.

 

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CHU WANNA PLAY ROUGHH?! HOKAY!!
 

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