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Bro - gain a little perspective
Would advise you to consider the cards you’ve been dealt. Be grateful for the role luck has played and pleased with all of your hard work. You can always move up in a couple years if you can’t be happy otherwise.
You have mental problems. You have a great result dude. Stop looking in others’ bowls when you have enough to eat.
Just go make more money lol how hard can it be
It’s funny you feel that way.
Because reading your post and knowing you went to a crappier college than me, but still made it to PE makes me angry and sad, just like you.
Just know you inferior schooling also can make others feel like you.
First off, congrats on getting the offer. A $4bn shop is definitely UMM and I really don't think that MF > UMM to such a degree that you feel this way. I worked at a UMM shop and when I was in banking also had similar thoughts when I met another analyst who was going to a MF shop. Turns out, the jobs really aren't that different and you're getting as good of an experience (sometimes just a bit different since MFs I think are a bit more modeling heavy).
When I started at my PE firm, quickly realized everyone had as strong as backgrounds as me. Elite BBs, MBAs, top of their class, etc. I was at a $3bn fund too... so you even had me beat.
You are worried about being the top 1% of the top 1%... I think you'll get a lot more happiness / fulfillment out of your career if you aren't solely focused on how much money you're making (the difference is probably $20k after taxes anyways) and how 'prestigious' your firm is. You have an incredible gig right now and got an even better gig that most analysts don't get (I know the 'you have a great job right now' is never the advice you want to hear).
I used to think this way until I realized I didn't care anymore about money (to a degree) / prestige and wanted my life back. It's just a job! If you keep searching for prestige, you will never be happy given there is always the next level you can get.
Take a moment to appreciate what your hard work has earned you.
I probably wouldn't renege on your offer. PE is such a small world that if you get caught you'd get blacklisted from any 'prestigious' firm. You already have a great job lined up.
Hopefully this is helpful and not preachy. Trying to mix actual career advice with more life advice. If you keep surrounding yourself with people that only really care about prestige you'll either turn into one of those people (and struggle to be happy) or realize it's not for you (what happened for me). Not saying you need to leave the industry, but try to find out what exactly about it drives you. If you are really driven by comp / prestige, focus on killing it in your PE gig and try to lateral to a larger shop (had a buddy that did that) or get the Sr. ASO role somewhere bigger. You have a long career ahead of you and it's not ruined by an arbitrary threshold that makes a firm a UMM or an MF.
If you truly aren't driven by comp / prestige, then I think you'll realize it doesn't matter as much and what you do like may be investing, deal making, etc., and you can go from there. Best of luck.
You will never be happy in life with this mentality. You will always chase the next “high” and not appreciate what you’ve accomplished.
Reneging on a high quality offer to satisfy your ego can have serious consequences for your reputation.
Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing. A career is a marathon and you’ve barely finished the first mile. Appreciate what you’ve accomplished to date and keep pushing
Worth a read also - we're all career hardos here, but more to life than just your career
https://markmanson.net/why-you-should-care-about-many-things
Is using the past tense against your nature?
Who cares bro?
MM, UMM or MF, at the end of the day you'll still be a virgin.
Bet you get a ton of ass as a 25 year old analyst struggling to lateral
Ooo you went on a deep dive hey? Sure I'm a few years older than the typical analyst, and yeah I had a hard time finding a lateral. But I'm not sure what either of those has to do with getting laid?
I get ass because I'm not an incel who tries to pick up chicks using my job title.
“Comparison is the thief of joy”
Wise words from lesbiangirlscout
..
Pay for therapy
I get this, and I used to have it myself a lot. I missed out barely on a grad role at MS when I graduated and went to a Tier II / III bank instead. As I've gotten older, I've focused much more on the question "What is the objective function I'm trying to maximize here?"
Friends, family, religion, travel, health, fun for the sake of fun; these are all so, so much more important, and (to be cliche) priceless. Especially in the context of earning multiple times the average salary in our industry, and having the opportunity in the first place.
Life is pretty damn good, embrace that
A friend of mine at my MF was in PC and not PE. He was so enraged that his PC carry wasn’t as high as his PE counterparts even though the PC payout faced much less risk (think BX PE vs BX PC, 10 mil vs 15 mil as an example) that he is actively trying to leave. This is just an example of how far this can go, imo it’s not worth it.
This is what Buddha called the “monkey brain” and specifically the “compare monkey brain.” The suffering is derived from comparing and in the wanting of things.
I was in the same boat and I re recruited and went to an MF. And I think it was a dumb decision. I would've been happier at the UMM which has since 2x in size and have been aggressively promoting.
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