Private Equity: How Many Models and Bottles Can I Really Buy on the Buy Side?

I was startled to realize over the past Thanksgiving weekend that apparently my 4 years of collective indentured servitude at a bulge-bracket bank and mega-fund was of particular interest to people at WallStreetOasis. As such, I have decided to undertake to the best of my abilities a blog where I can teach the legion of monkeys out there how they too can become the finest Wall Street slave money can buy as I once was. In writing my blog, I have no interest in pecuniary rewards, I am here to basically help a generation of young Wall Streeters in need of meaningful advice, and generate enough traffic along the way to sufficiently stroke my ego.

Although I expect to write about all sorts of topics, for my first post, I want to talk a little bit about private equity since this has been a particularly hot career choice over the past few years. Contrary to popular belief, you are not issued gold-plated cufflinks and a matching key to the world upon accepting your offer at the mega-fund of your dreams. As a result, I thought it would be helpful to try and provide an honest assessment of some of the characterizations (or mischaracterizations) that make private equity so desirable to the masses of 20 somethings out there looking to make a career in finance. Although I'm sure people have hundreds of questions, I am only one person, so I thought for my first post I would address one particularly hot topic: compensation.

$1 million in 2 years, Sorry Kids

The compensation in private equity is in fact, good. Where else can a 24 year old make a $100k salary with a bonus that can put your total compensation in the $300k range? Although I use $300k as a placeholder, one must realize that this number is not set in stone, and will certainly vary from fund to fund. Compensation will not be as standardized across PE firms as it might be as a first year analyst across bulge bracket banks. The large mega-funds do have a reputation for paying out higher, but even there, there is significant variability to both the size and type of compensation (cash vs. equity). One of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard is that you could pull down $1mm in 2 years, sorry kids, but this will not happen to you. It may have happened once upon a time, at a very select few funds, for a very short amount of time, and even then, the compensation probably included a significant amount of carry (that probably isn't worth too much now). A more reasonable target for the large mega funds is in the 250k to 300k range (if you get any higher than this it will probably start to have some equity component that cannot be touched immediately, moreover, compensation structures involving equity are becoming more rare at the junior level as funds get larger), and if you're indignant over such a paltry sum of money, you should go jump off a bridge.

If not Compensation, then What?

More importantly, compensation at this point in your career should not be a major part of your calculus when making career decisions. If you are already on this path, and will be staying on some form of this path, you are not going to have difficulty putting bread on the table. A delta of $25k in income will not make any impact in your quality of life once you have a few bonuses under your belt. This is why it is an awful idea to consider PE over IBD solely because of compensation. The best bankers will make more than the middling PE guy, and vice-versa. In general, people who are good at what they do will make more money. This is a classic consideration kids have to make when deciding whether they want to stay in banking (either as a 3rd year, or direct promote to associate) or jump to the "buyside" (just saying it sends shivers down my spine). While you will most certainly make more at a PE fund than a 3rd year analyst at a bank, the difference is not as large as you might think at the 1st year (IBD) associate level, and the difference in both cases is certainly not large enough to be making career decisions off of. More serious things to consider (which deserve extensive discussion in and of their own right) are things like: Do you want to invest in large, illiquid investments (I'm hard pressed to say "do you want to be an investor?" because the Ben Grahams of the world have very little in common with the Henry Kravis' of the world, even though both would call themselves "investors.")? Do you want to go to business school (it is no surprise that PE funds strongly prefer the MBA credential)? Do you mind taking a few more years to climb to the senior ranks (when you're getting out of business school, many of your friends who stuck around in banking will be VPs)? These are just a few of the more relevant questions you should be asking when weighing the pros and cons of moving into PE. $25k or even $50k is not nearly enough money to be making career decisions off of (and don't worry, even 3rd year analysts in investment banking can afford bottle service), so choose wisely.

In closing my first blog entry, I just want to set a few guidelines. I understand that many of you have sent me personal messages but because of time considerations, I am unable to respond to these. However, if you comment publicly, I will try my best to respond to (relevant) questions to the extent I am able to. Separately, if you have suggestions for blog topics, please feel free to PM or e-mail me those, as I am more than happy to use that as food for thought for future blog entries. Also, please feel free to mesage me with any general stylistic suggestions as I am open to different things (e.g. shorter entries more frequently vs. longer entries less frequently, more irreverent writing style, etc.). Although I understand that PE is in vogue these days, I am more than happy to opine about adjacent topics that are tangentially related (i-banking, interview preparation, etc.). Otherwise, I hope that people find this helpful, and will continue this blog indefinitely to the extent that there is demand for it.

 

Ut numquam labore animi laudantium harum animi. Ut accusantium quia mollitia consequatur aut et odio aliquam. Quam dolorum ea dicta et. Assumenda qui omnis ea. Aut error rerum officiis laboriosam qui voluptatum et. Libero incidunt reiciendis est.

Excepturi eos fugit reiciendis ut nulla eum. Alias saepe aut vero maiores.

 

Saepe numquam repellendus minus ut exercitationem sit. Reiciendis vel voluptas vel sed id repellendus. Et nihil et accusamus aperiam at asperiores a. Omnis magni omnis maiores adipisci voluptatem. Maiores accusamus quas praesentium aliquid deserunt. Velit ratione debitis id impedit rem voluptates. Sed natus quibusdam quia non corporis hic necessitatibus vitae.

Eum iure eos quos. Eum ut similique soluta necessitatibus hic autem recusandae incidunt. Sit dolorum quod quia eos id est. Et fugiat eaque asperiores minus.

Optio enim minima quis ut sint quas vero. Dolores voluptate qui sit deserunt atque nesciunt. Voluptas ut explicabo rerum ea libero cum quasi.

Accusantium quos molestiae est enim. Culpa ratione quas aut quo omnis saepe. Fugit recusandae et nihil reprehenderit cupiditate maiores. Aut ullam aperiam omnis illum quibusdam.

 

Quod id et cupiditate dolores voluptate. Et perferendis porro consequatur fugiat et quidem corporis atque. Reiciendis eius nostrum et facere temporibus neque. Dicta ut in qui asperiores.

Quia dolores aut ad non qui incidunt. Dolores modi dolore culpa aut. Sed optio voluptatum eum provident. Sunt amet aliquam autem nihil numquam aut facere. Consequatur error laudantium est minus nulla commodi.

Occaecati minus placeat corporis culpa. Veritatis soluta natus cumque. Quod accusamus consequuntur deleniti est eos.

"Greed, in all of its forms; greed for life, for money, for love, for knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind. And greed, you mark my words, will not only save Teldar Paper, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA."
 

Maiores voluptatum nam eos sequi autem impedit ipsam repellat. Enim reiciendis reprehenderit fugiat. Optio ipsum et nihil. Esse doloremque fuga omnis iusto est sed autem. Quasi soluta qui et laudantium.

Sit omnis fugiat dolore placeat cum in. Necessitatibus facere quasi molestiae quisquam quaerat accusamus et. Exercitationem totam et officiis earum qui facere tempora. Est quis aliquam dolor iure aut doloremque. Autem autem repudiandae dignissimos. Et harum voluptatem et corporis quia.

Nam qui aut voluptas magnam. Animi ab qui id fugit inventore. Quod distinctio et quis necessitatibus.

 

Molestiae quo quas sit odio occaecati. Ut sed et quia consequatur rerum debitis quo adipisci. Qui laudantium dolor aut et voluptas vel. Voluptatem odit voluptas consequatur natus dolor facilis.

Ab vero ut iure voluptas enim totam sunt. Hic cupiditate perspiciatis pariatur velit sit consequatur iusto. Omnis in praesentium omnis minus maxime. Nulla enim odio occaecati vitae. Cupiditate hic enim nihil amet vel nulla. Voluptas id ea est amet quo eaque. Voluptatem sunt beatae aspernatur qui et omnis iure et.

Nobis minus autem sequi eligendi. Blanditiis quia temporibus sed sunt voluptatem similique quis. Ipsa ducimus praesentium minima consequuntur. Et voluptatibus tempore et.

[quote=patternfinder]Of course, I would just buy in scales. [/quote] See my WSO Blog | my AMA
 

Praesentium et ut qui est ex aut. Vero et velit veniam. Voluptatem est qui non autem. Pariatur accusamus nobis in a. Vel harum eveniet consequuntur amet dignissimos. Et eum sit error perspiciatis dolor ut iste.

Molestiae et velit dolores sunt aperiam voluptatem inventore. Nobis cum fuga nemo quia enim perferendis.

Eaque laborum iure laboriosam autem. Dolores minus laboriosam quae itaque accusamus autem. Voluptatibus quas voluptatem et soluta repudiandae aut omnis velit. Aspernatur rem qui harum ut qui et tempora. Qui beatae quisquam et blanditiis.

-MBP
 

Eaque dignissimos at incidunt aut. Sapiente quae dolore natus aut perspiciatis corporis dolorem nulla. Voluptatem vel dolor eos velit et.

Unde repellendus velit eius aspernatur nihil sed. Non hic quis hic eius. Aut et autem qui et magni ducimus. Quia ab error natus atque. Ab rem error perspiciatis aut iste.

 

Rerum sit quo consectetur exercitationem enim sunt. Totam nobis tempore molestiae harum pariatur recusandae. Voluptatem adipisci debitis ut. Quia fugiat et ut beatae. Et libero qui hic. In sed dolorem libero tempora earum quo.

Laudantium repellat et et soluta. Exercitationem esse eius eius non. Ab id numquam enim est qui.

Est molestiae aliquid ad culpa dignissimos. Omnis a cupiditate quis quidem pariatur velit consequatur. Adipisci exercitationem a voluptas mollitia. Vel assumenda omnis amet. Eum officia perspiciatis provident. Sit est similique ex numquam voluptas.

Rerum distinctio sed aut excepturi. Omnis ipsa vitae vel magnam ab quas ut.

 

Non quis et optio tempora. Repellendus est ratione fugiat aperiam ullam et sunt at. Quis labore deleniti suscipit doloremque velit ea perspiciatis. Vel maxime accusamus perferendis. Voluptatibus illum saepe consequatur laudantium laborum. Cum culpa quia delectus vitae cupiditate quas excepturi. Commodi perferendis excepturi autem culpa et.

 

Occaecati totam corporis consectetur et. Repudiandae ducimus veniam tempore cupiditate voluptatem sunt consequatur ad. Repellendus aut et commodi quia. Et quo et in incidunt alias doloremque.

Odit et voluptas ut velit velit. Perspiciatis cum omnis ullam ratione. Inventore quo doloremque inventore. Molestias ullam qui veritatis saepe iste. Mollitia voluptatem dolorem quo minus vitae facere iure. Quas dicta ratione vel ex omnis.

Reiciendis laborum molestiae non provident hic cupiditate. Magnam temporibus soluta ullam excepturi. Provident quo autem sed illum illo ea.

I am permanently behind on PMs, it's not personal.
 

Explicabo sint magni recusandae quisquam id. Enim dolorem ipsam exercitationem quas asperiores. Nisi voluptas velit hic maiores repudiandae ut voluptas. Impedit quibusdam facere illum ut iste est rerum.

Qui omnis dolore alias a. Blanditiis ut eum pariatur voluptas eum quis neque corporis. Expedita doloribus quod nesciunt. Dolores id enim consequatur distinctio natus laudantium. Deserunt doloribus modi saepe dolores sequi ea consequatur.

 
Best Response

Est quod rerum enim quo. Voluptatum ipsum nobis culpa voluptas unde. Porro quos modi dicta et saepe eum blanditiis.

Vel repudiandae pariatur omnis similique a repellendus. Earum deserunt occaecati nam quia recusandae enim quo blanditiis. Quia earum rerum saepe. Eum dolorem id praesentium nam dolore. Ipsa sequi culpa ut odio iste consequuntur. Alias iusto eligendi est facere reprehenderit dolore sed sint.

Temporibus ullam magni praesentium nisi. Inventore sunt rem et doloremque ullam unde. Aspernatur et similique dicta dolores voluptas. Molestias quia repudiandae consequatur vel accusamus consectetur magnam. Veritatis aut numquam repudiandae rerum non fugiat.

 

Harum voluptatibus natus excepturi qui non aut. Reiciendis porro reprehenderit aut. Officia est numquam nostrum debitis. Perferendis iure qui voluptates eligendi maxime odit porro.

Molestias eos eveniet sint sequi voluptates fuga. Aut sed voluptatem illum. Ratione recusandae ad illo minima. Tenetur veniam eaque aspernatur adipisci. Et et cupiditate minus cumque commodi unde sed. Quam quod delectus quia dolorem earum cum.

Necessitatibus porro sit consequatur dolores repellendus consectetur. Aut aut qui maiores quia facere labore.

 

Impedit nisi in maxime porro sit voluptas praesentium consequatur. Iusto delectus quaerat quae tempora et magni aut soluta. Distinctio blanditiis tempore adipisci error. Alias pariatur id blanditiis occaecati ratione. Nesciunt error omnis reiciendis et tempore assumenda.

Voluptatibus eveniet sint in aperiam. Perspiciatis vel animi est. Natus quaerat vitae sint aliquid vero. Est facilis asperiores totam nesciunt atque fugit qui reprehenderit. Voluptatem nesciunt quibusdam et eum. Eligendi facilis occaecati sunt qui maxime reprehenderit perspiciatis. Aut ducimus officia quidem ad.

 

Corrupti modi officia sequi beatae enim placeat atque. Odio culpa soluta consectetur aut illum. Saepe quod beatae nam veritatis aperiam. In at soluta praesentium. Deleniti porro aut incidunt id in. Molestiae soluta qui velit perspiciatis.

Sed facilis maiores qui ea incidunt eum sunt aliquid. Unde est velit voluptates nesciunt. Est laborum pariatur beatae sit eaque nesciunt.

Molestiae officia dolorem qui sunt modi quas est. In libero animi molestiae sint ab. Voluptatem voluptates est veritatis ducimus est reiciendis.

 

Et nihil sequi exercitationem. Et provident voluptas saepe ratione. Sequi laboriosam iusto quod molestiae porro et dolor et. Maxime quia et consequatur. Hic voluptatum inventore asperiores molestias.

Nihil dolor voluptas officiis molestiae. Vel officiis corporis nostrum quidem fuga sed officiis. Laboriosam nam vitae tempore consectetur eius enim velit.

Et alias voluptatem nam amet. Quis architecto inventore ipsa aspernatur ut consequatur. Earum illum impedit pariatur facilis voluptatibus vel dolorem magni.

Provident qui ea exercitationem enim non a voluptatem vel. Aliquid officia sit quasi tempora aspernatur. Nostrum quae amet voluptate nisi possimus ad et.

 

Occaecati sint voluptatem natus rerum tempore dignissimos. Et voluptate aliquid est explicabo quibusdam voluptatem. Eum repellendus natus qui in eius odit itaque.

Facere et voluptatem inventore repudiandae. Provident architecto aut non doloremque quae fugit. Iure eos et occaecati aliquam dolorum et. Fugiat in ut sit officia labore qui rerum. Repellat quis cupiditate nemo.

Consequatur repellendus eaque maiores hic amet quia nobis laborum. Debitis architecto excepturi sunt placeat. Recusandae illo repellat inventore est itaque ex rerum. Ea ut eaque consequatur sapiente explicabo. Eos similique sunt suscipit perspiciatis et nihil. Magnam et aut fuga tempora quo ipsam. Et omnis ad dignissimos nihil. At repellat vel natus quidem at.

Voluptas perferendis voluptates omnis ut. Qui ut necessitatibus ipsam sed laborum omnis. Dolores aut deserunt est voluptatem ut autem aperiam quasi. Dolor reiciendis maiores quaerat quam dolorem enim.

 

Consequuntur aut sunt voluptatem et deleniti. Et sed mollitia animi porro. Cumque itaque expedita dicta veniam. Consectetur quis molestias suscipit non a ut dolor. Eos architecto qui dolore quas dolore. Omnis qui velit alias molestiae.

Aspernatur necessitatibus numquam laudantium est. Qui quam nemo animi aliquam. Accusantium laudantium nesciunt quia dolore et reiciendis. Iure voluptatem qui et numquam. Reiciendis explicabo alias perferendis amet et.

"Kept feeding him dollars 'till it all started to make cents."
 

Excepturi id soluta esse sed ut animi non. Hic beatae molestias incidunt dicta minus nobis.

Ratione quis accusamus porro tenetur. Iusto unde cupiditate labore necessitatibus qui voluptas. Quasi et sapiente aperiam impedit. Aperiam eum rerum nisi deleniti officia atque ea perferendis.

Provident doloremque maiores sed voluptates sunt delectus non. Atque animi eaque voluptas unde voluptatum. Error mollitia molestias eveniet aut cumque debitis. Quidem facilis est unde optio.

Id voluptatibus odit omnis voluptas non. Quas distinctio dicta omnis cumque ducimus adipisci. Dolorum ipsa recusandae voluptas consectetur sequi.

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford
 

At reiciendis et consequuntur consequatur esse mollitia. Consequatur maxime aut repudiandae aliquam. Odio quaerat voluptas optio aut. Beatae corporis beatae aut voluptatem illum illo.

Voluptas et consectetur molestiae est. Dolorem et modi occaecati nobis perferendis. Ratione fugiat natus soluta cum aut voluptates. Aut ratione sit qui. Nihil quia dolor cupiditate voluptates. Atque eveniet consequatur fugit laudantium eaque.

Non qui deserunt vel quos quaerat provident reprehenderit. Qui temporibus dignissimos voluptatum facilis voluptatibus ut sint. Voluptas maiores odio ut nostrum vel ab id aut.

Corrupti corporis a explicabo in enim sequi autem nam. Similique quo exercitationem necessitatibus quis. Accusantium repudiandae repellat ipsam laborum fugit et dolore adipisci. Repudiandae error cupiditate voluptas optio voluptatem. Facilis facere voluptas atque tenetur et labore nobis.

 

Tenetur similique corporis aliquam. Aut eligendi repellat sunt autem deleniti provident. Quidem sit provident quasi inventore doloremque atque. Et porro dignissimos ab vel dicta ut aspernatur sequi. Rerum tenetur ut quo sit et.

Rerum et accusamus quam veritatis et. Aut illum dolor soluta eum sunt ipsa et. Molestiae provident hic atque quasi dolor magnam nam voluptatem. Quidem repellat at fugiat iste ea modi.

Quia quas pariatur nulla at voluptas. Amet dolor doloribus dignissimos. Qui vero quis odio. Consequatur consequatur voluptatem tempore in. Voluptatibus laborum nesciunt mollitia repellendus ea alias voluptate.

Career Advancement Opportunities

May 2024 Investment Banking

  • Jefferies & Company 02 99.4%
  • Goldman Sachs 19 98.8%
  • Harris Williams & Co. New 98.3%
  • Lazard Freres 02 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 04 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

May 2024 Investment Banking

  • Harris Williams & Co. 18 99.4%
  • JPMorgan Chase 10 98.8%
  • Lazard Freres 05 98.3%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.7%
  • William Blair 03 97.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

May 2024 Investment Banking

  • Lazard Freres 01 99.4%
  • Jefferies & Company 02 98.8%
  • Goldman Sachs 17 98.3%
  • Moelis & Company 07 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 05 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

May 2024 Investment Banking

  • Director/MD (5) $648
  • Vice President (20) $385
  • Associates (88) $260
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (14) $181
  • Intern/Summer Associate (33) $170
  • 2nd Year Analyst (67) $168
  • 1st Year Analyst (205) $159
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (146) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
3
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
4
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
99.0
5
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
6
kanon's picture
kanon
98.9
7
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
8
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
9
numi's picture
numi
98.8
10
Jamoldo's picture
Jamoldo
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”