Reminder to keep in touch with your parents…
For those of you in college/in your 20s just a reminder to find the time to always respond to your parents. There’s always a lot of existential thinking but we are still only 1/4 a way through life. Most of our parents are 3/4 assuming the loose rule of 80. So when they pester you with texts, calls, or what may seem as annoying over the top reminders….please try and empathize and understand how they feel. Show gratitude to the ones who gave you your shot in this world while you have that time!
Based on the most helpful WSO content, here's a valuable reminder:
This advice aligns with the sentiment of maintaining and valuing relationships, as highlighted in the WSO content.
Great point and just to add to it I’m sure a lot of you have seen the chart that shows by 18 we’ve spent somewhere between 90-95% of the days in person with our parents that we’ll spend in our life.
Make the most of the time you can with them even if it’s just a call.
As someone who is approaching 60, who has buried all 4 grandparents, both parents, a step-parent, and my only sibling, my sense of mortality has been shook each time there's been a loss, in different ways, on different levels.
I am the last of my line. I have no children and my only sibling also had no children. I married into a wonderful family and on that end, during our marriage, we've buried his parents, one of his siblings and a grandmother.
Beyond my having a few far-flung cousins in various countries that I rarely see in person, keeping in touch with mostly via text, my last immediate living relative is my 88 year old uncle, my mom's brother, who has dementia and who I had to get evaluated last year to be placed into a nursing care facility. When my uncle's time comes, I will have basically lost the last person that's known me my entire life, someone I lived with as a child, someone who helped raise me and my brother, someone I saw daily for decades and who I still see weekly. These visits are bittersweet, there's a great deal of repetition week to week, my uncle's strongest memories are for things past, poetry that he memorized as a young man and the occasional stories about him and my mom as children. I watch DVDs with him of his favorite movies like High Noon, Beau Geste or Breakfast at Tiffany's and enjoy seeing his smile when he sees the treats I've brought him for lunch and the rest of the week.
My dad died was I was 20 and he was only 57. We were just reaching that point of becoming more friends than child-parent when he developed cancer - from his diagnosis to his death was barely 3 months.
I lost my only sibling, my kid brother in 2021, when he was only 45 and that's been incredibly hard - I still mourn not only his death, but the death of any possible future memories with him. I never imagined him dying before me. I thought we'd age together.
I was very blessed to have my mom in my life until she was 84. She passed in 2022. She wasn't just my mom, but also a dear friend, my shopping buddy, my fellow culture vulture, my fellow gardener, my fellow life-long student. She battled cancer the last 5 years of her life and was just an incredibly lady all around. It means a great deal to me when people tell me stories and recollections of my brother or mother - it soothes me in a small way that they touched others' lives and that I'm not the only one who remembers them with love.
If you have good relations with your parents, or even if you don't have the greatest relations with them, do not put off til tomorrow what you can do today. When your loved one is gone, that door is shut, for better or for worse. There will be no more chances to "getting around" to calling them or making plans with them.
Do not add regret of not having tried to mend fences, improving connections, staying in touch, making each other laugh, sharing a meal... do not add regret to your grief and mourning.
Love them and connect with them now, while you still can.
You have a kind soul.
Exactly! Parents are always the ones who love us unconditionally.
I recently came home for a BarMitzvah and was met with immense guilt for not calling my father enough. When dropping my uncle off at the airport, I was told I should call him more because “he’s been struggling” and even the security guard at the temple pulled me aside and told me in those same words “you’re father’s been struggling—please call him more”. Broke my heart.
I consider myself a family man. Have and always will spend tons of time with my parents and in-laws.
That said, as important as it is to set aside ample time to spend with parents, it is as important to set appropriate boundaries.
At a certain age your immediate family (spouse, kids) becomes the priority.
Echoing this (I'm 23 and have a 3 year old cat that I call my son)
Not all parents are good parents. Some are bad, selfish, or put their own interests before their kids’ during the formative years. Or just did not know how to be a parent to begin with. It’s ok to keep your distance from these types, and you shouldn’t be made to feel guilty about it. Sometimes you need to turn the page and write your own story, and hopefully correct for those mistakes with your own family / kids.
I hear you. Honestly, I get so pissed when I think about it. My dad’s a damn alcoholic, always wasted, always taking out his frustration on everyone around him, especially me. I swear, it feels like I’ve spent my whole life trying to pick up the pieces of his mess.
And don’t get me started on my mom. She just ditched us, ran off with some rich guy like we weren’t even worth her time.I don’t even know if I’ll ever be able to forgive them for that
I saw my Mom today. She has severe dementia and is in a wheelchair and cannot talk that much. She said "Yes" twice when I asked her if she was doing well, and kissed my hand and arm twice which made my day. Today was a good day. Sometimes it is hard to visit her as she says nothing and is combative at times if I try to put a jacket on her if she is cold. I haven't visited her in a week or more as I've just been dealing with the loss of my Dad and training for a new job. My parents have always been good to me though, so I haven't had bad experiences like some other posters here.
Def show appreciation to your folks if they sacrificed and supported you, especially if they were successes in life and can provide you with a nice inheritance. If your parents were lazy or bad with money, maybe keep in touch when you feel like it.
This was heartbreaking... yall have parents who check up on yall? For reference, I was extremely neglected during my youth. I had a lot of figures out that you're eating. We aren't cooking type of nights... I'm happy for yall, but sometimes it hits you like a truck what you missed out on...
Absolutely! I'm in my late 20s now lol and they still are and always be my #1's. I'm especially a momma's boys haha, she immediately softens me up on sight. My dad is a fuckin g and my main guy. People may get added to that #1 group with time but they'll always be in it. So excited to see them Wednesday. They're my inspiration and heroes.
best
Corporis voluptas fuga ipsam facilis occaecati. Quos dicta ut fugiat dolor ducimus porro. Dolorem ex necessitatibus soluta et dolor dolorum labore.
Non qui magnam dolore vitae non dicta voluptatem. Mollitia vero asperiores et illum sit. Cumque at et et ex. Quia deleniti minima et ut illum. Velit totam in quis.
See All Comments - 100% Free
WSO depends on everyone being able to pitch in when they know something. Unlock with your email and get bonus: 6 financial modeling lessons free ($199 value)
or Unlock with your social account...