Resigning before Christmas

So youre saying you resign on x date giving notice that 2 weeks out will be your last day and your new employer is telling you to just quit on the spot?

If that’s the case, I would not do that. The people you’ve worked with can help go a very long way.

I’ve gone out of my way to try and do the right thing despite having a new job lined up. Including pulling all nighters and running just as hard in my lame duck period if necessary. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had someone come up to me and be like I met this guy X, he said he knew your from Y, wow that guy is a huge fan of yours.

Conversely, on another occasion, against my better judgement I was pressured into quitting early to start a new job and a soft unofficial negative reference check ended up torpedoing my offer that was basically a done deal.

On an absolute worst case, if new firm is digging in and you think it’s valid (I can’t imagine how it would be unless it’s a startup/new launch and they need all hands on deck asap), then you should still do the right thing and eat it yourself via compressing your time off between jobs.

I had a very similar situation a few years ago. I received an offer and had to quit very click after right into the Christmas break. If you work for a large firm this stuff happens all the time and no one really bats an eyelid. I would just tell your MD that this is what you’re planning to do, that you wanted it would’ve gone different but you don’t feel you have much of a choice but that if he feels very strongly to let you know and you’ll try your best. That way he feels that he’s had a chance to opine. Maybe propose to go for drinks or something after the holidays with the team as you would’ve wanted it to have ended differently etc. Worst case you can still just pull the trigger. But the outcome is inevitable which is you should take your new offer without any hesitation. He’s a professional and he’ll get it

Nice humble brag post. We get it, you made it to them promised land and I wanted to share with the community. But don’t insult our intelligence and pretend you actually believe your MD would fall apart from the work load if you left lol and his heart would break when you left him after years of his amazing mentorship lol.

Two things:  

First, is there a bonus at play?  

Second, why burn any bridges if you don't have to?  You never know how folks might be able help you (or have the option to hurt you) later.  Being a good leaver is not hard, and folks will never forget it if you act like a shit on your way out the door.

“You said there were no friends on wall street, right”

I’m in the fortunate position to have verbally accepted a buyside role (coming from IB), but they want me to resign by the end of this week. The norm in my region is a 4 week notice period and they are keen to have me start end of January / latest early February

What exactly is the conflict here? You put in your resignation letter this week, give the 4 week notice period you say is custom, and then start end of January/early February as they want. Everything lines up perfectly. 

Quick question upfront - are you threating your annual bonus by quitting now?

Otherwise I understand you feel bad about the situation, but quit in a professional way, express your gratitude towards your MD, tell him you appreciate how much you learned from him and that you'd like to meet him after the holidays for lunch / drinks and to stay in touch. You could even suggest peers for hiring into the position you are leaving in case you know someone. Don't burn bridges, which I doubt you'll do by leaving now (with the little info provided). Investment Banks know that PEs are very aggressive in hiring and that they want their people to start asap (happened to me as well).

In addition, do not forget that it is a great exit for your current team as well, since they will have now a new connection to the fund you are joining which is always helpful.

Usually we are so worried and feel bad about the situations before even check in in how the other person / the team will perceive it. It is a nice trait of you to feel concerned but this is your career and your life, don't "waste" time upfront by feeling bad. You mentioned your MD is a great guy, I bet he will be happy for you.

If you are nervous before the talk, try breathwork to calm yourself down, set your intention for the call - to leave on a good note and to not lose contact with him I assume - and go ahead.

Good luck and let us know how it went! 

If you're gonna accept the offer, just tell the employer and give them as much notice as you can.  Don't worry if you don't give the full 4 weeks notice, you're gone anyway