Starting a new life with a new job, I want to make the most of this new shot.

I’m a 26‑year‑old male heading from one of the most boring but financially relevant cities in the U.S. to a large Midwestern city to join JPM in an associate‑level role in wealth management (markets specialist supporting the client‑facing rainmaker types). It’s a breath of fresh air after spending time in a very niche role at a mid‑sized IB - great people, but it wasn’t taking me anywhere.

Part of my plan for boosting my social adaptability in this new city is to plug into a big cultural community that has a strong presence there. I’m also hoping to eventually meet someone I can build a family with. I’ve spent too much time messing around, and when I did try to date seriously, it didn’t go well - a lot of “traditional”‑leaning women are shocked that a guy who can support a family on one income… actually has to work long hours to make that possible (though my comp may not swing that far anymore for now with the much higher COL). That said, my hours have chased away partners in the past, and i'm a little bitter for it. I think I need someone more grounded, nerdy, or accomplished - someone who understands the lifestyle.

I’ve also realized it’s nearly impossible to make real friends after college. Most people are already locked into their social circles, and I’m about to leave all of mine behind. I’ve tried sports leagues, hiking groups, music, and other hobbies, but it all feels like surface‑level networking that doesn’t go anywhere.

Does anyone have advice on what I should focus on or how to optimize this reset in my life? The city is big enough to have opportunities but not so chaotic that you lose connections every few months. Appreciate any thoughts, and happy to give more details if needed.