Terrible Date. Now what?
Generally, I dont like these sorts of posts as they take away from the real heart of WSO but with the greater proclivity in which people are posting on such topics, I'll give it a shot too.
I broke up with my girlfriend about 3 months ago, after about 6 months. I wasnt too down about it as it was headed for the inevitable sooner or later so I made peace with it.
This really hot girl started in the same building as my job (different company). We'd been flirting for a bit and she seemed like a cool girl. Anyhow, we finally managed to set up a date, and I was quite looking forward to it. However, did it ever turn out to be fucking brutal. She came there happy as anything, we're enjoying our time. She started to mention about how she's always had a little trouble with dating for someone longer then about 3 months. Alarm bells started to ring for me, as
- She's really hot, so why cant she keep a man?
- Its definitely a weird topic to bring up on a first date.
I persevered as I was hoping to hook up with her. She carried on with the same topic. I didnt really know where to look, as I was trying to avoid eye-contact. At this stage, I was hoping this night ends as quickly as possible. However, then she gets a phone call and proceeds to have a brief conversation with someone. I couldnt believe it. Further to that, she has the most annoying laugh you'll ever hear. Although, it wasnt a stuffy sort-of restaurant and was more casual, people still started looking. She apologized for the call, where I nodded politely. I had to get out of there.
So I excused myself to have a cigarette (not the smoothest move but hey she takes phone calls in the middle of a date). She had an odd look on her face but agreed. I fucking took off. I stiffed her with the bill and didnt look back. It was so brutal.
Now I'm worried about seeing around the building anywhere this week, Fuck, I'm thinking of even taking a few days off sick to have a plausible excuse. What do you guys think? Tell the truth and crush her or make an excuse?
Wait. So how long was the date going on until she brought up this topic and the phone call occurred? Was the conversation good otherwise? Why didn't you change the topic to something more pleasant, which is something a good conversationalist is able to do? Finally, pretty fucking pussy of you to take a "cigarette break" and foot her with the bill. At least have the balls to say, "hey look, i don't think this is going to work out, so let's end this date early", and then pay the bill and leave.
Date was going for about 30mins when she started talking about how she had heard that I broke up with someone recently and the brought up her problems. At first, I thought it was just meant to be a give and take situation, something to make me feel better, but it went on and on.
I tried to change the topic but how much could i really push on the first date? She seems a little unstable and self-deprecating. Its unattractive.
And lastly, I had to do something. I've never been that great at confrontation and with the way she was acting, I didnt want a huge fuss. Plus a friend mentioned how he's done this in the past and it worked. Nothing to do with the bill, just had to leave.
Yeah stiffing her with the bill was stupid. She's going to tell other females she works with about how much of a dick you are...just hope it doesn't get around the whole building.
Yeah what he did was unbelievably stupid, especially given that she works in the SAME fucking building. I mean if this happened while he was out of town, and there is near 100% certainty that he would never see her again, it would make some sense. But in this context, his behavior was retarded.
I wouldnt call it retarded. We work in the same building but its not that we run into each other all the time. I noticed her and made the effort initially. I see tons of women all the time at work. I'm sure someone else has hooked up with a girl in the building and not called her. Not much different here.
Thats the problem. I didnt see her today. And no one shot me any looks so I'm thinking she wasnt in work today.
You should have at least left a few 20's at your seat.
Not sure how I could do that without arousing suspicion.
Pretty hilarious in my opinion but if you have any balls at all you should go talk to the girl. Dont be afraid of women. Its one of the lamest qualities in a man. You dont have to tell her the truth though. Just call her up asap, and apologize. It will help you be less of a pssy in the future too.
That was a baller move. Stupid, but completely baller. Call her and say that you had a family / work emergency. And when you see her, give her a few 20s for the bill.
No way this happened.
bad experiences can be some of the most useful - they teach you very valuable lessons. anyway, sorry she didn't work out, there are billions of women to choose from, go find another
If you tell her the truth about how uncomfortable you felt when she talked about those things, she'll actually appreciate your candor. But apologize for over-reacting and leaving her ass in the restaurant.
you know nothing about women
This.
Have you been paying attention? Damage is already done and nothing that he says will make a bit of difference. OP needs to stand his ground and just tell the truth and sack up. Try giving her a good excuse about this? you'll come off like a petty lil boy. OP shouldn't be worrying about her female feelings at this point IMO.
The OP has crossed the rubicon. The damage has been done, and there is ZERO chance of him fucking this girl. His best option now is to just ignore her if he sees her in the building and pretend as if nothing happened. If she does confront him, he should just be truthful and say that her behavior was unacceptable, and he doesn't want to waste his time with women like her.
Banish this vagina
Dumb
The one thing ive learned from my relationships is that if you hurt a girl or do something fucked up... lie about it. You dont tell a girl that you cheated on her, or that you don't find her attractive or that she creeped you out at dinner. That shit just makes her feel worse and makes you an even bigger asshole. Make up a petty excuse and let the girl feel better about herself.
Ari Gold called. He approves your message:
wow that made me laugh
wow way to have a sack dude.
i went on a date a few weeks ago with this girl who was fairly bad looking just for the fuck of it. took her home and she was literally so good at sex it was like porn star status. life is full of surprises you should've stuck it out.
What do you guys reckon I should do? I might catch after work at the end of the week hopefully (so if shit hits the fan, at least the weekend comes in between) and just apologise. Explain her behavior was odd and inappropriate for a first date.
Best case - we're friends. Worst case - she shits on my apology.
I told a bro at work and he was in hysterics. So not the mature answer I was looking for. Hopefully, we might be able to move past this. Just an impulsive decision.
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