Terrible dating experience after breaking up

So I have broken up recently as some of you might have seen in my recent post. Yesterday I followed the advice I got from that post and went on a date with a final year undergrad girl. We went to a Pho place in town. We ordered food and started talking about our experience in the city (we are both international) and all sorts. We somehow started talking about working out, even though we both do not really do that. She pointed at my chest and said that I have massive moobs. I was shocked and we went dead air for a minute or so before I changed the topic. We then go to a teenagers type dessert place and she just ordered those dessert set for share without asking. She then asked if I wanted to go to her place but I said no as I feel uncomfortable for the whole night (since she commented on my moobs). I basically got the bill and left.

I am not the most "socially-able" person and want to ask if there is something I could have done better?

Just to say I naturally have some moobs but not huge. I am 72kg/180cm with 11-12% body fat.ย 

Comments (41)

Sep 17, 2022 - 8:27pm
Isaiah_53_5 ๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ’Ž, what's your opinion? Comment below:

If she wants you and likes your moobs, who are you to deny?

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

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Sep 17, 2022 - 8:45pm
WolfofWSO, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Shocking to see someone like that is still singleโ€ฆ

Array

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Sep 17, 2022 - 8:48pm
WolfofWSO, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Next time something like that happens mid meal, grow a pair and ask for two checks once it's over.

Array

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Funniest
Sep 17, 2022 - 8:58pm
Isaiah_53_5 ๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ’Ž, what's your opinion? Comment below:
WolfofWSO

Next time something like that happens mid meal, grow a pair and ask for two checks once it's over.

haha one check for each moob

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

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Most Helpful
Sep 18, 2022 - 12:10pm
PrivateTechquity ๐Ÿš€GME+BBBY๐Ÿš€, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Are you a 14 y/o girl? She invited you home to her place, almost certainly to fuck, and you said no because you felt self-conscious about your manly mammaries? Maybe she was awkwardly trying to neg you during the date or create some banter and she just failed miserably, but if that's the case so did you by taking it so personally. If you're this sensitive to such an empty comment and can't roll it into some kind of joke, maybe you're not ready for dating. You both both sound like such boobs from this anecdote.ย 

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Sep 19, 2022 - 8:49am
the_lonely_traveler, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Agreed. You gotta own up to those milkers of yours. May have been an attempt to lighten the mood after workout talk which both of you seem to have known wasn't either of your real hobbies.

Although to be fair to you... I would say generally physical appearance is something that should be off limits in terms of banter between a girl and a guy on a first date. People get way to insecure about it and I'm assuming you were both dressed up to at least look mildly attractive. I would have been caught off guard too.ย 

Sep 18, 2022 - 2:05pm
Miracle1111, what's your opinion? Comment below:

First, Like PrivateTechquity said, she invited you to her place to fuck. You won, idk what the problem is.

Second, that's what's called a shit test, and you failed. It's a good sign that she's teasing you. That means she likes you, and she's shit-testing you to see how you will handle it. Even though you failed she still invited you over, which means she really really likes you. Next time just roll with it and make a joke out of it. Grab your moobs and be like, "You're mirin'???" or something. Just make her laugh, don't make it awkward.

And third, if it bothers you that much, hit the fuckin' gym and get rid of them.

Sep 18, 2022 - 3:20pm
PrivateTechquity ๐Ÿš€GME+BBBY๐Ÿš€, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Give me internships

I'm already 11% body fat, can barely cut it unless I do a surgeryโ€ฆ

That's a load of caca. You do not have significant body fat concentrated in your tits at 11% body fat unless you're a woman. I highly doubt you're at 11-12% body fat because I'm >15% body fat and barely have man titties - just a wet trash bag gut which I'm now working to get rid of. It's all about diet. Heck, just do a shit load of chest and back and it'll harden up everything up top. These are lame excuses. But the single biggest thing you need to work on is this rice paper ego you've got and learn how to properly banter w/ women. I can't emphasize enough how dumb it is that you HAD HER INVITING YOU HOME TO FUCK and you said NO because your feelings got hurt over your MOOBS.ย 

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Sep 19, 2022 - 8:55am
the_lonely_traveler, what's your opinion? Comment below:

10% to 14% is Terry Crews walking around on an average day. People don't understand true body fat %. Most of the calculators that are out there are crap and even some of the physical tests are extremely inaccurate. People just don't want to call the inaccuracy out because the numbers they give almost without fail are lower than reality. Its like if one 5'11" guy walked around saying he wasn't six foot. The social pressure to conform and say your better than you are is too high. A ripped powerlifter who looks mean as a motherfucker is probably walking around at 15% to 20%.

Sep 18, 2022 - 4:23pm
IncomingIBDreject, what's your opinion? Comment below:

As I mentioned on the other thread when you hold spontaneous dates like this you learn who a person is pretty quickly. On Tinder or social media, I bet you this girl would be posting about "body positivity" and how men shouldn't be shallow, so you'd think she values personality based off that crafted social media profile, but really it's all a show. I still don't understand whether you have a more muscular body type or were fat, but regardless you can she she made fun of you on your first date when you were paying the bill. If you really are fat, she's of course not forced to be physically attracted to you, but then she should have declined the date to start with. It's kind of awful of a person to accept a date when you are paying and then make a comment like that while you are paying.

To the guys saying you are sensitive, can't take a joke, etc. please ignore them. There are too many beta males on this site who would be willing to get run over by a car if it meant that a pretty girl would speak a few words to them. You are not forced to pay the bill and get made fun of on your first date and of course have no recourse as a man (imagine if you had tried asking the girl what her weight was). Given these things just move on. There are hundreds more single girls in your university. Keep it up with these spontaneous in-person dates and hopefully you find someone good after a few more trials.

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Sep 18, 2022 - 5:01pm
Miracle1111, what's your opinion? Comment below:

You're reading way too much into it. Playing around with a girl doesn't make you a beta simp, that's ridiculous. I promise you, if a man can't joke around with a girl, can't tease a girl, can't let a girl tease him, can't laugh with her, and can't laugh at each other, then he isn't going to ever have much luck with women. She invited him to her house after a date. What a bitch.

Imagine if instead of getting butthurt, he looked her in her eyes and said, "So why are you looking at my chest?" or "Why are you checking me out?" it would have been a wrap. I know because I've done similar things. What would she say, "I'm not checking you out." "You're not? So why are you looking at my chest?" "I just noticed it." "So you noticed my chest?" That's how you build sexual tension. She was teasing him. Maybe she's socially awkward (a lot of women are), and it came out wrong. Maybe she was nervous. He could have gotten laid that night. Instead, he's on WSO upset about getting his feelings hurt and looking for validation. Next time just switch up on her and get laid.

Sep 18, 2022 - 5:44pm
IncomingIBDreject, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I'm well aware that she was "teasing" him although that doesn't really change the fact that she was making fun of him, playfully or not and as a guy he wouldย notย be able to do the same thing. If he tried to ask her her weight she would have almost certainly not found it funny. These are the same type of girls who will post on social media about "body positivity" and how men shouldn't be shallow about appearance but of course its ok for them somehow to be outright rude about appearance in a first date. You can try to defend the girl and say the joke was poorly executed, but quite frankly the choice of what she made fun of was poorly executed. She was laughing at him and not with him.

Or course, both partners should be able to laugh at each other in a playful manner when weird or awkward things happen, but it takes time to develop that sort of friendship and bond between each other. And even then something like chest size shouldn't be it. If someone finds the appearance of the other so poor that they feel the need to make fun of it on a first date, it would have been better never have dated to start with.ย 

She invited him over, sure, but we don't know how many previous sexual partners she's had. If she's had many, then being invited over isn't really a win is it it, since it's fairly easy for a man to sleep with her. Not to mention that OP is trying to find a LTR not a hookup.ย 

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Sep 18, 2022 - 5:40pm
anonymous1723, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Dude you're not 11-12% body fat and have moobs unless you have gyno. And even then you said you don't work out, so it's not like you have a nice juicy gyno chest like Simeon Panda. Look up Greg Doucette body fat on youtube. I would guarantee your body fat is probably twice that amount. Do you have absolutely shredded abs with vascularity in your arms? If not, don't even say you're in the vicinity of 11-12% bodyfat. And what was the tone of the girl saying you have moobs? I'm guessing it was in a joking and not serious tone. Should've just said something funny like yeah I have moobs but they're not as good as yours. Who cares though the girl literally invited you over to her place? She's asking you to pipe her down bro. Just fuck her god damn brains out and get that nice ejaculation and leave. If you don't see any long term future with her, then just ghost her after. But at least pipe her down if she was even remotely attractive. It's annoying but girls will hit you with shit tests like that. Gotta make a joke out of it or agree and amplify. They wanna see if you're confident and can maintain frame. Also hit the god damn gym. You need money and a good physique and both are things you can control.

Sep 18, 2022 - 5:58pm
Give me internships, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I had checked my Body fat twice in the past 12 months, once before I left my old company where they have a station to check your height weight fat and blood pressure etc and once after coming back to uni at the Bio lab for fun, one was 11.x and one was 12.x. I genuinely has moobs issues and was made fun of once high school...

But yeah I will consider go working out more often, I only go the the gym once or twice a month when my friends in the research group are all going.

Sep 18, 2022 - 6:20pm
Deo et Patriae, what's your opinion? Comment below:
Give me internships

So I have broken up recently as some of you might have seen in my recent post. Yesterday I followed the advice I got from that post and went on a date with a final year undergrad girl. We went to a Pho place in town. We ordered food and started talking about our experience in the city (we are both international) and all sorts. We somehow started talking about working out, even though we both do not really do that. She pointed at my chest and said that I have massive moobs. I was shocked and we went dead air for a minute or so before I changed the topic. We then go to a teenagers type dessert place and she just ordered those dessert set for share without asking. She then asked if I wanted to go to her place but I said no as I feel uncomfortable for the whole night (since she commented on my moobs). I basically got the bill and left.

I am not the most "socially-able" person and want to ask if there is something I could have done better?

Just to say I naturally have some moobs but not huge. I am 72kg/180cm with 11-12% body fat.ย 

lol, this is a troll, right?

I have never been told by a woman that I have moobs, but if I did, I would make a joke out of it. You can deny it and say something like "Actually, it's all muscle! Here, have a feel?" (if she actually goes for it and touches your chest, then you are golden since it's obvious she likes you).

Or you can go for the self-deprecating line and say something like, "Aw, shit, you're right... well, how about we go work out together next time so we can start fixing that? (casually dropping a second date / reason to meet again) As with the example above, you can gauge based on her reaction whether she is into you.

Practically anything is better than sitting there for 1 minute in silence and being butthurt.

The kicker is that she was clearly into you, as she invited you over to her place... seriously, this is a troll, right?

Sep 18, 2022 - 7:11pm
IncomingIBDreject, what's your opinion? Comment below:

The kicker is that she was clearly into you, as she invited you over to her place... seriously, this is a troll, right?

ย This is why I said that there are a lot of beta males/simps on this thread. So, by your own reasoning you are telling me that it doesn't matter how the girl treats the guy during the first date (whether she insults him or is rude or not), or how much she orders from the various shops without even asking, but all that matters is if she invites him over or not?

You are advising OP to put 100% of the ball in the girl's court and willing to take any monetary loss and insults just for the chance to have one night with her? A relationship is a two way street. If the guy isn't satisfied on the first date he should move on.ย 
ย 

No matter what mental gymnastics you come up with to defend the girl and shift the blame on OP, that doesn't really change the fact that her behavior was rude and uncalled for. Even if people aren't perfect on a first date, most would know not to comment on someone's appearance like this. If it's a serious problem, either don't date or talk about other positive qualities that the person has and invite them to the gym for a second date (should come from the person who is taking offense not the guy). SOs are meant to build the other person up, not tear them down. She could have built OP up and got him to lose weight simultaneously but she chose the route to tear him down on the first date instead.ย 

No human is perfect, but as I've said earlier this isn't a normal flaw and one that is going to seriously deteriorate the relationship dynamic. I don't see a reason why OP should stick around. There are hundreds of more single girls in his university, most of whom can behave better than this. He should just move on.

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Sep 18, 2022 - 11:22pm
anonymous1723, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Dude you are way off the mark here lol. The key tenet of being a simp/beta male is giving money/attention to girls without getting what you want in return, which is sex. This dude clearly could've gotten sex from the girl, which is what we are all pointing out. It's beta to give af about what some dumb whore thinks. An alpha/confident man would've brushed this off easily and recognized it as a shit test. Rule #1: Pay attention to what a girl does, not what she says. If she calls you an asshole and loser but sucks and fucks you like a champ, who gives af? Would it be better if this girl decided to be polite and use OP for free food and not give him sex? You're right about how there's a double standard with making fun of woman's appearance and the whole body positivity sham movement, but that's just the reality in this gynocentric society.

There's an abundance of double standards and almost nearly all of them benefit women. We as men have to figure out how to successfully navigate through this system. The moobs thing was most likely a joke and OP took it way too seriously. And honestly, unless OP has gynecomastia, there's no reason to have moobs and the chick prolly had a point. The two things every man can control are their money and physique. If you're not going to the gym and eating appropriately to avoid being a fat slob, that's on you. Same thing if you're a broke dude and don't have money. FYI, whenever I use you, I'm not referring to you specifically. Just using it as a general person. I get your overall viewpoint, but it's sort of irrelevant to this particular situation. Not saying you should tolerate chicks being assholes, but this one statement isn't the biggest thing to freak out about. If she called him a fat slob or a fucking loser or cussed him out and embarrassed him in front of others, that's one thing. But joking about his moobs, which OP literally does have, isn't that big of a deal.ย 

Sep 18, 2022 - 7:27pm
Kevin25, what's your opinion? Comment below:

the girl is fine and you're a snowflake. cannot take a joke. could have just joked back: "at least one of us has boobs".ย 

if you don't like your boobs, go work out.

you should have gone to her place and let her suck on your tittles and talk smack during it, like "how do you like my moobs now".

Sep 19, 2022 - 11:22am
anonguytoibd, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Do you actually have moobs dude? If not, she was just commenting on your defined chest and making a light joke, which seems to be the case since she wanted to sleep with you.ย 
ย 

Listen, I would not let a girl legitimately disrespect me and sleep with her. If I actually had man boobs and she called me fat, I'd take it as an autistic/awkward slip and joke back with her and see how she took heat. She'd have to be a very strange person to continue saying legitimately unflattering things and this is the type of psycho I would not lay with. She would be a stranger of course. This is not what happened on your date and you misunderstood her playfulness as disrespect.ย 

Sep 19, 2022 - 7:40pm
SafariJoe, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Give me internships

So I have broken up recently as some of you might have seen in my recent post. Yesterday I followed the advice I got from that post and went on a date with a final year undergrad girl. We went to a Pho place in town. We ordered food and started talking about our experience in the city (we are both international) and all sorts. We somehow started talking about working out, even though we both do not really do that. She pointed at my chest and said that I have massive moobs. I was shocked and we went dead air for a minute or so before I changed the topic. We then go to a teenagers type dessert place and she just ordered those dessert set for share without asking. She then asked if I wanted to go to her place but I said no as I feel uncomfortable for the whole night (since she commented on my moobs). I basically got the bill and left.

I am not the most "socially-able" person and want to ask if there is something I could have done better?

Just to say I naturally have some moobs but not huge. I am 72kg/180cm with 11-12% body fat.ย 

What a rude person to talk about your moobs, I support what you did.

SafariJoe, wins again!
Sep 20, 2022 - 3:34am
ConfusedGuru, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Life is so cruel. God makes women like idiots like OP and not me. A women could straight up roast the shit out of me and I wouldn't care as long as I end up at her place at the end of the day. Do better OP; love your moobs. Btw I have an athletic build with very little body fat, nearly shredded and I'd trade all that for your moobs if it meant I get into these sorts of situations with a girl wanting me to come over.ย 

Sep 20, 2022 - 3:48am
Synergy_or_Syzygy, what's your opinion? Comment below:

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Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes.
Sep 20, 2022 - 9:12am
Tricky Triangles, what's your opinion? Comment below:

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