Thanksgiving Destruction

Disclaimer: This is not a story about what I am thankful for, rather a story explaining why I am sitting at an airport chilies, drinking, waiting for an earlier flight.

My family is rowdier than most, everyone drinks, gets drunk and per usual gets into fights. Usually its a sister on sister situation, but not to be out done the males came to party last night and by males I really mean just me.

It is all the mutts fault. Younger cousin decided she needed a dog, and a boyfriend and haphazardly picked up the latter then subsequently the former about a month ago I am told.

Anyways my demise culminates with the third dog fight of the day, when I rip this fluffy poodle shit off of a much smaller dog, pick him up over my head, and in my drunken state, throw this furry beast across the room, much to the dismay of the cousin and her boyfriend. I proceed to laugh my ass off as the boyfriend is screaming something like, "Bro wtf you just threw my dog!" to which due to A. Being 15 beers deep B. Angry that this poodle had ruined my evening and C. That I am fresh off a winning streak of beating everyone in the house in arm wrestling including the boyfriend, I respond with "You're lucky I didn't go Stone Cold Steve Austin and break that piece of shit over my knee." (Admittedly I am unsure if that was one of Mr. Austins moves.)

He didn't like that. This altercation ends with me throwing this larger fluffier individual over my knee in a headlock. I then yell "Thats my que" stomp my ass upstairs, pack my shit, call a cab and here I am some 10 hours later.

I would be interested to hear if anyone is also at some shit hole airport bar waiting on an earlier flight. I guess I should also say that the dog was fine. Please excuse the lack of sentence structure and any misspellings, I have no good excuse.