The dirtiest word an investment banking analyst hopeful can ever hear
Could it be described as "filthy, foul, vile, vulgar, coarse, bawdy, naughty, saucy, raunchy, rude, crude, lewd, lascivious, indecent, profane, obscene, suggestive, cursin, cussin, or swearin"*?
No, but hearing it may induce you to use language that could be all of the above.
The word is a compound word that means a part of your body and something you learned to do when you were incredibly young. An innocent enough word. A word that didn’t mean anything to me before I walked into a bank.
The word. My friends, fellows, associates, comrades. Is Headcount
Ooh it’s such a dirty word man. One that makes you want to punch cars and blow up walls. “Well we think that you’d be great for this job, but we can’t hire you because our desk doesn’t have headcount”
Aiiiiiiiiya
That’s what I heard at
the end of my internship last summer. About one week before the end of the summer all the interns looked around and realized there were way more of us than there were desks available.
And panic descended. Which desks can hire? Who’s going to get a job? How many questions did you get asked during your final project? If you only get 3 questions that means you’re either a shoe-in or already finished. If they grill you it means you’re on the fence. Pick your poison
On the last day we buy the floor lunch to thank them for having us as interns. And after lunch 80% of us got fired. Did you know that pizza can leave a bitter taste in your mouth?
My biggest mentor is now by boss from the summer. And he told me that these moments in life make you feel awful at the time, but you look back on it and realize it makes you stronger. And that’s true. But sometimes it’s okay to enjoy that feeling of righteous frustration for just a few minutes
*George Carlin
Like the George Carlin reference. I have a bunch of George Carlin and Richard Pryor records in my vinyl collection. Always a good listen.
one of my first jobs out of college was selling vinyl online for a music store... wish i could start a collection / get a nice audio system
Just hang out with this guy: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/08/10/magazine/the-brazilian-bus-magnate-wh…
The best way that I've built up my collection is to find people selling full collections on Ebay. You can pick up 100-500 records for way cheaper than buying individually. You might buy a block and not need or want half of the records, but then you can either resell the ones you don't want (I'm guaranteed to get duplicates of Jackson Browne records I already have in almost every purchase) or donate to a thrift shop/Goodwill for a tax write-off. I don't know what shipping costs will be to Buenos Aires though...
There are a lot of "antique shops" in the south that are basically indoor flea markets. Inevitably there will almost always be a booth of vinyl. I've picked up some good ones there. I haven't built a great turntable set up, but you can hook up a decent one for a grand.
Once when I lived back in Auburn, I was doing construction. We went into a house that needed a bathroom remodel. It belonged to a university professor that apparently was a bit of an audiophile. Walked in the front door and was surrounded by built in bookcases of vinyl. Must've been 10k records. I almost passed out. He wasn't there and his wife was a bit of a prude. Wouldn't even let me look without touching. I just wanted to see what type of music he was collecting. I've never seen anything like that in my life.
I'll let you in on a little secret - your mentor is lying. He gave you a half assed answer so you don't feel bad about yourself. Truth is - it sucks, you will get up from it and it's definitely not the end of the world. Things that make you stronger is people beating down on you while you are actually employed. Laying in your PJs around does not make you stronger.
When they fire you (which I hope never happens to you), but happens to almost all of us - if they try to give you some half assed answer about it making you stronger you can tell them to go fuck themselves.
It's a jungle out there, good luck. I got a worse word for you "redundancy"
This type of stuff happens to people all the time. Survival of the Fittest is what it comes down to, and being on the other side they could care less if the pizza tasted bitter for the interns. Just take the experience as a whole and come out swinging at the jump at your next place.
I wouldn't let this get you down, you have IB experience on your resume and will have a great shot at FT recruiting.
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