Think I'm boned. Wat do?
Warning: long post crying about life.
I'm a student at a top MAcc program (let's say either UT or UIUC to maintain some semblance of anonymity) studying tax. I went to a decent undergrad and got decent grades, and got into this school on the back of an awesome GMAT. After two first rounds and two non-invites to first rounds, I had struck out with the Big 4. This was already the danger zone. 75% (historically) of my graduating class will go to the Big 4, another handful will do finance or consulting, and most of the remainder will self-select into work-life balance jobs (smaller firms, industry). It's extremely unusual for someone in my class to want Big 4 and not get it.
I had my first office visit a couple weekends ago with a firm in the McG/GT/BDO/Crowe tier, and thought it went pretty well. I was rejected, so I reached out to a partner with whom I thought I had a good interview for feedback. He got back to me today on the phone, and informed me that I was unanimously struck down on the basis of interpersonal skills. When I asked for advice for the handful of office visits I still have coming up, his top suggestions for me were to get a different degree or apply to the IRS.
I'm scared shitless. I've always known I'm not a social butterfly, but I had no idea things were this bad. Hell, I settled for tax accounting instead of finance, where I wanted to be, as an accommodation for my soft skills. My plan was never to stay in accounting long-term, but work for a couple years then go to law or b-school to transition into an industry where I could actually make some money. Suddenly it seems like there's no way b-school would even be a viable option, law school seems even riskier than it did before, and entrenching myself in the Big 4 senior manager parking lot seems like a beautiful pipe dream.
I know better than to come to WSO for sympathy and kindness, so I'm going to try and get to some direct questions.
Short term: I have office visits still coming up with one of the aforementioned firms, a slightly smaller but somewhat respectable firm, and a regional firm I have zero desire to work for. How do I handle myself during these to hide the fact that I'm an oblivious social retard?
Long term: What in the nine hells do I do? I had an accounting professor in undergrad who always tried to sell me on a PhD in accounting. I always took that as "You're a great student, and you have a lot of potential for academic work." I now see it for what it was: "You have zero chance at public. Consider this Plan B." Maybe she was on to something.
Watch every single one of the shows here: http://www.vh1.com/shows/the_pickup_artist/season_1/video.jhtml. Then get out of the house and act it out. This will change your life. The host of the show is known as the world's greatest pickup artist, and has an amazing knowledge of human behavior. When you are done, find more clips from Mystery, Lovedrop, Matador, etc. on YouTube. The whole premise of their teachings is to fake it until you make it, which is what you need to do. Keep in mind that getting an accounting job is not quite the same thing as picking up women, but the principles of human interaction are the same, and that is what you need to learn.
If you follow through on this, you should see a major impact on your life in the next couple months. Unfortunately, you don't have that much time for your job search. In the meantime, you need to get more detail about why you were dinged on interpersonal skills. What are you specifically doing that is weird? I have a feeling that your family and friends might be able to tell you.
I have no idea what I'm doing that's so wrong. I tried to make a list of the major gaffes that might get someone dinged, and I'm fairly certain I didn't commit any of them. I'm trying not to get my family involved, and I'm not sure the CSO on campus would be very helpful for this, so I don't know where to turn for feedback.
The only specific that the partner mentioned on the phone was that the conversation eventually started to "lack content" as my interview went on. My best interpretation of that is the initial questions went OK, and I asked decent questions but not enough to fill the time slot, then the small talk at the end killed me. That's something I know I'm not very good at, and have no idea how to improve upon.
He also pointed out that the lack of soft skills was compounded by my general lack of extracurriculars. I tutored accounting during undergrad, am a TA for intro accounting now, and I did VITA last spring, but that's all I have. It's too late to change that now, but is there some way to downplay that?
I think you are on the right track now that you are aware of the problem. I would think a masters from one of those schools would get you an automatic job offer at most firms. Just try to improve what you can for your remaining interviews and if nothing comes of them, start crushing the CPA. I still dont understand why they even care about the interpersonal skills of a tax accountant. PM me if you want me to throw in a referral for you at a my firm (similar to "McG/GT/BDO/Crowe"). I dont know about peoples experiences at similar firms but i feel like "mid tier" firms are literally just feeders for the big 4 to poach from.
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