Time off for wedding during SA?
Hi guys,
My friend recently proposed to his girlfriend and is expected to get married mid-July in another country (1-hour flight away). I believe my SA (London IBD) does include two or three 'optional' days off. Is using these days to go to a wedding (in another country) acceptable/not frowned upon if done correctly (i.e., letting the team know in advance, etc.)? I can still do some minor work whilst away, but there may be issues with compliance if I work in another country, I believe.
Thoughts/advice would be greatly appreciated, thanks.
It's fine, just be transparent about it and try to make up for it at some other point
In a down year for banks with return offers guaranteed to be lower, you want to chance shaking the tree over a wedding? I have a personal story that might help:
When I did my SA time, kid on my floor missed 2 days. 1 day he was taking an exam for summer school and the other he was in like traffic court or something. The team took a note of it 1000%. In fact, one of those days became a live deal and guess who wasn't there for the experience/to help. Kid still got a return offer (boom year) but his overall performance was marked down heavy. Kid didn't take it and did like trading. I talked with one of the associates about it and he said yeah we needed him back but we weren't impressed with him and him missing outlined to us that he didn't value this job like a lot of other people would.
People will tell you it's ok and that may be true. But why even risk pissing off 1 or 2 people you may need in your corner. This weeding is not going to determine the rest of your life. Your SA very well could by setting you up for the future. If you have to ask, you know the answer.
Tbh if people are being bitches about you having to go to court, you probably don’t wanna work in said team anyway. I think if you agree to pick up the slack you should be fine in any case. Don’t worry too much, it’s just a job/internship lol.
Ehhh traffic court is kinda bullshit though, attorneys can make an appearance for next to nothing. That's if an appearance is even required. Most of all, it shouldn't take remotely close to a full day. I've had traffic court a few times, and it was simply a late start. In by 10:30 or so.
And I'm not sure what 'exam for summer school' meant . . can't imagine the kid did summer school during SA. But whatever that meant, there's definitely a feeling of "why does this kid have work conflicts that the other 50 interns don't." Sorry maybe I'm just too hardo today.
To be honest sounds like he dodged a bullet by not returning. What a miserable culture.
Funny that people throw MS at you for just telling a story.
My sense of OP's situation is that weddings are different, and it's fine if he's professional about it. By 'professional' I mostly mean, did he minimize the missed time or did he take a day or two more than necessary to get the full wedding experience? Other factors, did he communicate it upfront, and make sure others know that he's only missing the bare minimum work time.
I do question OP's suggesting that he might be taking 2-3 weekdays off for a wedding that's an hour away and presumably on a weekend. I'm not sure he meant that, but assuming this is a saturday ceremony he should be looking to attend the wedding without missing any weekdays.
Last but not least: OP, just drop the issue of it being in another country. Bankers and especially HR folk are weird . . if you raise a non-issue with them, they will start to think it's an issue and complicate the matter. It's not an issue. Just tell them (i) a good friend is getting married (ii) you know missing time in the summer is a big deal and (iii) you plan to be out of office only __ days and will only be out of pocket for a minimal subset of that time.
this is why i hate banking culture. people like this
See from my perspective, it being in another country justifies why he would need to take either the monday / friday for flights
Also it being in a foreign country can lead to the assumption ‘may be in a culture where weddings are huge ceremonies etc’
if he just said can i take 2-3 weekdays for a wedding i feel like it raises more eyebrows than ‘can i take 2-3 weekdays for a wedding in other country’
You sound like a fun guy to work with
Depends on what kind of friend it is. Are you expected to be in the wedding party? Most people will fully understand if you miss a day because of your best friend’s wedding. If they don’t, you probably will not want to work for them anyways. You will always be able to work but you will never be able to revisit the wedding (unless you friend plans to get married a couple times)
It’s crazy to me there are places that would look down on this. In my group, would 100% be okay but other banks could certainly use this as a reason to not give a return offer.
You can easily fly there Saturday morning and go back to London on Sunday without having to take a full day off, just mention that to your deal team or staffer.
People saying no to this are horrible / the reason banking sucks. No one should miss a close friends wedding for a banking internship, that is idiotic. Obviously don’t take a week off or anything, but just communicate it to your deal team in advance and do good work for the rest of the summer. If your team does somehow hold that against you and you don’t get a return offer, I consider that dodging a bullet because if they give you grief about it now I can guarantee you that will be a miserable two year analyst program
There is a huge caveat that isn't mentioned here, OP. You aren't "dodging a bullet" when you don't get a return offer. Take 5 minutes and look at the FT thread for interns who didn't get returns. It was ugly and still very much is. So much so that they're expanding their horizons to non banking verticals like SnT, AM, and other areas. Get an offer at all costs. As someone who almost walked out of their office on their final day without one, you don't want to even have a taste of that feeling. Don't risk it. Especially in a down market. A lot of your seniors (Ds and MDs) came up at a time when interns were commanded to get the lunch orders and had folding chairs. Many will expect you to earn it.
You are acting like sales and trading is your personal hell lmao… I could never do banking and love trading. To each their own
Just out of curiosity, what situation would be ok to miss 1-2 days in your opinion?
The wedding is on a weekday or are you talking about taking Sat / Sun off?
Do you want to work somewhere that cares?
This is generally okay but I would try to avoid taking 3 days off personally. Missing a Friday is fine. I would try to limit it to 1 weekday off unless not feasible
There is no issue with compliance to work in another country for a few days btw, only on an extended basis (weeks at a time)
1st go to the wedding - anyone that says otherwise is either just crazy or too young to realize this really won't matter.
2nd make sure to tell the team early, and provide reminders
3rd be flexible with the trip, maybe don't go as long as some others are going for
4th make sure to stay on top of your work and get stuff tee'd up for when you leave
You will 100% regret missing a good friends wedding for like 1 day of an internship. Its just the paranoia talking. Enjoy the wedding but work hard during the summer.
I was in the same situation and I went to the wedding, needless to say my team was supportive and I got a return offer, so no backlash from this.
However, I would advise making the trip as short as possible if its interfering with work days (if the wedding is on a friday I would try to fly there same day instead of taking also thursday off, that might rub the wrong way).
Go to your friend's wedding, that's an important event in your buddy's life and he'll want to have you there for it.
This isn't the 1980s banking world like some people on this sub seem to think it is. This reminds me of another post where someone asked do people actually take PTO and some responded saying it would look back to their employer. More often than not your higher ups will appreciate that you have a life outside of your job, it shows you're more than an empty Patagonia vest.
With that in mind something to always remember when submitting PTO:
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