Wall Street Brakes For Tigers
Thanks to those chart lovers at Bloomberg, the evidence has finally confirmed that Wall Street really likes golf. Or Wall Street is just really eager to learn how to give a forced public apology for whorish behavior.
According to Bloomberg, trading activity reached lows as Tiger began his mea culpa and spiked after he finished. "Trading on all U.S. bourses declined during the press conference, falling to 456 million shares from an average of 576.8 million during the five previous 15-minute segments," Bloomberg said. Oh those crazy bourses.
We haven't seen Wall Street this distracted since Aleksey Vayner, or been this over-saturated by redundant, inane coverage since ESPN's titillating work on the Brett Favre retirement saga. Though admittedly I am perpetuating this and enjoying it. And, personally, to take the terrible analogy one step further, I haven't seen something that scripted and soul-less since A Rod and the 2009 Yankees. That's right, I said it.
To think how far we've come since that 3-iron smashed the windshield of a golfer's Escalade (which probably happens all the time in Florida among retirees, let's be honest here) ...
Sounds like someone's sipping the Yankee haterade. Any other team in their situation would do the exact same thing, but that doesn't seem to stop people from bawwing.
Silly Elin
Tiger does not owe America an apology. Hell he barely owes his wife one. 4 years ago she was a FT babysitter, today she has 300M to her name. Tiger's been sleeping with fugly bassethounds since the honeymoon and Elin stayed. She clearly flipped out bc she realized that she's stuck: all accounts were probably in his name and there was a giant pre-nup blocking her way. Juanita Jordan didn't turn psycho, she met Michael in court and took almost half. So many athletes deliberatly marry someone poor/uneducated bc they can't leave as quickly. I have yet to see an athlete date a lawyer, banker, doctor, or any woman that doesn't need a man to drive a Benz and live in a PH
Haha, I agree. Tiger's apology was pretty ridiculous. What a faggot. He should have said, "I am sorry I got caught...I would be slaying new tail if I didnt get caught" And he should have ended his speech with, "By the way, America, I have met new women who love to bone at sex-rehab"
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