Want to turn my life around

Incoming A1.I need some major advice to turn my life around in the next month. For ease of viewing, I have outlined the areas I need help with below. I would sincerely appreciate your input.Content CreationDuring my internship, I was lucky to be staffed on two deals that were fairly early in the process so deadlines were not too tight. All the comments received were additions or changes to existing content, but I did create a few new slides.I find it very difficult and sometimes even frustrating to clearly express my ideas or understanding of things I read. Like in college, I spent a whole lot more time thinking of how to express my ideas (finding and micro tuning right words) than actually focusing on the big picture.How do I avoid this during the job and pick up information quick for slides?Not feeling as if my work is a performative actWhat I mean by this is that during the internship (and much of college and high school tbh) but especially the internship, I felt that I needed to keep a certain persona and found it difficult and almost artificial. Like for example, I would often be staring at my computer screen during the internship while waiting for comments to look busy rather than go socialize with the other interns or whatever because I felt that seniors would see me as not working hard.Being serious but not too seriousThis comes from the way my parents raised me. My dad never smiled, made no small talk or jokes and everything was do or die for him. As such, I became to exhibit a lot of this "do or die" mentality and take the smallest inconvenience, fuck up, or mistake as the end of the world. It adds to my stress and honestly makes me more worried about the work than actually getting started on it.During the internship, I actually was able to power through but definitely feel less confident this time around.Keeping a positive attitude / being grateful / holding my groundThis. My mother raised me to be envious and untrusting of other people because she came from a turbulent background where she was emotionally and physically abused.I want to keep a positive attitude but my mind is wired to see the cons. And I am not supposed to (and never really was) jealous of other people who come from more affluent backgrounds, but I need to know how to control my emotions when Chad says something obnoxious.Aiming for perfection / winding downLast summer, I found myself pulling a lot of late nighters because I would finish at 12 am and then wait around until 2 to 3 am to see if any of my analysts would send me stuff over. Sometimes this was due to slow product creation (which I also need to improve) or sometimes anxiety.Tips on winding down?Thanks guys!--Thank you!