Would you change your last name to your wife’s?
I thought I had seen everything on LinkedIn, yet I continue to be surprised.
I just came across a long post about a guy, a professor of something, who is changing his last name to his wife’s last name.
And on top of that, he goes on a lecture on toxic masculinity and gender equity. A paragraph from the long-ass lecture is as follows:
This change reflects my decision to adopt my new wife’s last name. It is also a statement of protest against the toxic masculinity that has perpetuated this tradition, which asks women to take their husband’s last name and alienate their identity to a man, reinforcing the idea that women are followers. If there’s one thing I’ve learned during my years in Costa Rica, it’s that women are the true leaders of change. They are at the forefront of protecting our environment and giving birth to a new, greener world.
There’s like 7-8 more paragraphs. With a new organization that is named after a woman and is almost all women fighting to combat climate change.
And on top of that, he has tagged bunch of women at the end of the post - that have no reference to the post, whatsoever.
I just can’t wrap my mind around it. Of course the comments are the usual crap like “more power to you” and “bold of you”.
What are your thoughts on it?
Cause I can neither understand the decision as a man nor understand the need to lecture on LinkedIn.
Wouldn’t his wife’s last name just be her dad’s last name?
So, he’s fighting the patriarchy and “toxic” masculinity by taking another man’s name?
And you can extend this argument further. Even if nth generation woman (wife/wife’s mom and so on) took her mom’s name, the (n+1)th generation at some point would still be a man’s last name.
Hence, my friend, you just provided mathematical proof for my first comment above.
Strictly speaking, that is not necessarily true.
However, this does get to the underlying point which is that in reality, there will be a man's last name somewhere in the chain
That dude is definitely gonna get cucked in ~5 years…
No one confident in their decisions if it’s a controversial one makes a post like you described above.
Last comment looked to be removed by the mods. Thank you mods for keeping the discourse on this site civil and focusing on the real issues.
worded a bit “nicer” now:
Feels like that dude may find himself in an un-happy marriage in ~5 years. It just strikes me as odd that he makes such a long post on a professional website on a personal and controversial topic. I do not think that he is deep down happy with this and it’ll boil over in the relationship. No one makes a long post like you described if they are confident in themselves.
Your last name is a marker of your lineage and who you are related to. I would simply pick the more prestigious name. I come from basically nothing, so if her family is even a tad important, I'm taking hers. Plain and simple.
Correct answer
idk man unless i hate my dad i wont just get rid of my last name like that. good to be proud of where you came from.
Even if you loved your dad if yall come from nothing and your marrying a vanderbilt who's name are you taking? The Vanderbilt obviously. Although there wealth is long gone the name carries weight. And obviously if you hate your dad easy way to ditch the name.
Low testosterone comment
If you come from nothing, be the first. Every prestigious family has an ancestor who started off with absolutely nothing. Taking your wife's name guarantees you zero respect from any man in the future once they learn about this- including your own father.
Exactly
Just because I take her last name doesn't mean I still can't be the greatest in the bloodline. Plus the climb to the top will be that much easier. Your seriously going to look down on a person making an optimal decision? What if he was abused by his family yet hers is extremely sweet and welcoming? What if he was an orphan with no family? Still going to look down on that? You can be a traditional family man and bread winner and still take her last name.
Nice meme
He should’ve just skipped the middle-man justifications here and taken their bull’s surname.
The bull prefers to remain in the shadows though, according to Ozymandia
This is what happens when you let libs run wild...thank god for this election
amen brother
Best comment of the thread
Dude sounds like the reason hotels have chairs facing the bed. I'll echo all the above arguments about the patriarchy etc. Pretty dumb lmao
A friend of mine uses both names and so does his wife. With that said, his wife's last name is in the name of a major law firm in New Jersey
100% bet my life that this is a sexless bedroom with multiple therapy visits and a healthy dose of SSRIs on both couples as his wife fantasizes about getting put in her place by a real man
No I would not.
...but why in the fuck are so many of you guys talking about cuckholding and using some sort of insider cuck-slang like calling someone a "bull?" Why is that a part of your every day vocab?
You basement dwellers absolutely need to touch grass and get laid, at least one.
The lady doth protest too much. Something you wanna tell us bud?
The lady doth protest too much. Something you wanna tell us bud?
The lady doth protest too much. Something you wanna tell us bud?
Nothing screams insecure like commenting the same thing 3 times over.
Who the fuck uses doth in everyday conversation? Shut up nerd
Ugly like a donkeys ass + living in your mother's basement is a bad combo for meeting women.
Serious case of low testosterone, he should check in with his doctor immediately
Bro is not Toji Fushiguro
Jan 20th cannot come sooner…
While you’re throwing MS, also be sure to thank President Donald J. Trump (45/47) for the SPECTACULAR year you and your firms are about to enjoy in 2025.
No. Make it a special fuck you to Mr. Trump
Feminism and women being "true leaders of change" only exists because men allow it.
All norms, etiquette, laws, orderliness, everything that separates man from beast, and everything that puts women in positions of leadership and power over men is underpinned at its foundation by the possibility of violence. These things happen because men allow it.
Many of these things are good, but when society takes laws and peace and social contracts for granted as opposed to knowing they're maintained by men willing to do violence to maintain them, we open ourselves to destruction by less "civilized" forces. The current wave of feminism is inherently destructive.
Thank you for making sure everyone knows you have no idea what you are talking about
Explain
If their last name was something like Rothschild, Arnault, Curie, or something of that nature, I would hyphenate and put their last name first.
Dad #1 is a deadbeat and Dad #2 was an abusive jerk so sure I'd take her name.
Wouldn't you rather single-handedly change the reputation of your last name? Or jump ship and have to explain it to your kids
Retard-isms again....... I'm short of words
No
Cuck-ism is not the cure to toxic masculinity. If anything I’ve seen some forward couples combine their names get a cool new one to signify the start of a “new” family. Or just freaking have her maiden name - father’s last name together. Everyone has to have a think piece with their personal decisions it just doesn’t make sense to me.
Maybe if her last name was Rockefeller or Vanderbilt.
Otherwise I like my name. Tbh don’t really care if she changes her name. We’re all adults here and I’ve got more important things to worry about.
I need to see a white guy with an Asian wife go with the name Steve Wang or John Matsugae after the wedding. Would be hilarious.
Personally I like my last name too much. Wouldn’t give it up and I think if your wife takes issue with the name thing it’s indicative of a lack of connection and mutual understanding. Your wife should submit to you and be a vector for the continuation of your bloodline - and in turn the exertion of your will on earth beyond your death.
Personally no. Some friends of mine got married here and did a separate ceremony where her family is from in the middle east. Here they kept their separate names, but over there he converted to their religion (she isn't devout or even practicing), got a new religious first name, AND took her last name locally (although idk if that's a legal thing or just in the local religious register or whatever). Didn't have much respect for him for other reasons, lost all of it with that. And now I heard through the grapevine they may be getting divorced, shocker. Just my views.
wut
Fuck no unless my last name was Ballsach or something terrible. Just the headache of changing your name alone, no thanks.
Is that a real last name?
Lol no idea, just made it up
My former boss did this. He had an extraordinarily common name (both first and last) in his home country, said there were several people at his prior job that all had the same name. Decided to take his wife's name when they got married. Seemed like a reasonable enough reason.
Setting aside the name controversy, what the guy says is objectively wrong: "If there’s one thing I’ve learned during my years in Costa Rica, it’s that women are the true leaders of change."
The wrongness of his comment should go without saying. I like how Andrew Klavan describes this phenomenon--when women take over an industry it's a marker that the industry is in its death throes. Women follow men into industries and when women finally take them over it's primarily because men have moved on to the next innovation. We see this in academia and industry alike.
My cousin is a militant atheist. He met his wife at an atheist event. He took his wife’s last name. No surprise, they divorced after 5 years or so after he paid her way through college and grad school.
Did you just double comment? Genuinely unconvinced you aren’t a bot.
I did double comment. Is that a problem? If you read the comments, they are 2 entirely different thoughts.
What exactly is a militant atheist? Atheism is the fastest growing group in the US
What a weird question. A militant atheist is an atheist who goes to atheist events, marries a fellow atheist, and spends their days debating with Christians (not Muslims, Hindus, etc.--just Christians).
cuck behavior respectfully.
1. It's her dad's last name and so on,
2. you're the head of the family so your kids and wife are a reflection and extension of you, they should bear your last name,
3. there's no such thing as toxic masculinity. Feminism is just an excuse to bitch about things that you don't like which happen to be built by men,
4. did I mention that society was built by men?,
5. Finally, that's just cuck behavior imo. This country is getting soft.
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