please only monkeys who are older/richer/both than me. I love that all aspire to be well off, but I'm more curious to hear from people who have been/are in this stage of life and money
this feels weird to write, but I need some help with money. my income has been outpacing my wants for a little while now and to be frank I don't think I was mentally ready for this. I have some concerns I'd like to bounce off y'all here
- I want to be a good steward of what I have, not thinking I'm better than anyone because of my income or balance sheet. I don't want to fall into greed or pride and ultimately get ruined as a person
- I don't want to spoil my son or any future kids. I want them to be grounded, yet I know they will grow up with a level of abundance I only dreamed of, and so it will be impossible to recreate that same environment when we have no money stress in the same way many Americans do.
- I don't want to leave experiences on the table, but my wants are modest. I can easily do the travel I want and still have tons of excess, and my wife to this point has not wanted to level up our travel in any meaningful way.
- I don't want to accumulate for the sake of accumulation, I have Bill Perkins from Die With Zero in my head about working past the point of maximal utility, yet I love what I do, don't even work 40 hours a week, and will only continue to see my income grow. given that, it's highly likely that even if I live a life I want, I will hit financial independence before I'm tired of work, and the thought of that honestly scares me a little
so I'm curious, if you've been around longer than me and have navigated/tried to navigate this, please share, thanks!
@CompBanker @earthwalker7 @APAE @m_1 @Hugh Myron @Dingdong08 @Deo et Patriae
deleting bot response
This is really weird, dude. What happened to you?
becoming a dad + the enigma or arrival
If I recall, I’m about your age, though likely poorer (but making more than I could’ve imagined as a kid from what I’ll euphemistically describe as humble beginnings), but will take a shot at this.
In a similar boat where all of our primary wants and needs are covered, e.g., nice house in great neighborhood we love, childcare, etc. No real material needs or wants. I’d like to join the county club near me but the waiting list is multi year. Planning to send the kids to public schools when older (though reserving the right for private if they turn nutty or I have stupid carry checks coming in at that point). I’ll probably have them take out loans for college just as a lesson in debt but I’m ultimately going to cover all educational spending for them.
I do plan to “spoil” my kids in the sense of making sure they have every resource available to succeed. Effectively, the clsssic route of providing what I wish I had. But first and foremost, they’re going to learn to be good, functional humans, with a strong sense of discipline and work ethnic. They’re going to be made very aware that their lives are much different than the average American, and act with the responsibility that comes with it. I also use money to outsource a number of tasks (cleaners, landscapers, grocery delivery etc) so that we can spend as much time as possible with the kids. I do think that is the highest and best use of disposable income. I’d rather spend a few extra hours with them than have a new Benz in the driveway every year.
Not really sure what other direction I could take this in, but these are just some rambling thoughts while hungover on a long flight.
thank you Hugh! this is super helpful. I'm sort of stuck in the same as you. I want to provide my kid(s) with opportunities I wasn't, but still keep them grounded
you've also hit on something I've not yet done but am glad the little I have done - using excess to buy time. I haven't cut my own lawn in ages, and plan on buying other services when necessary/getting in the way of family time
appreciate your perspective
If you don't have cleaning ladies, you should. Best money my wife and I ever spent.
It doesn't mean you still don't clean in the interim (we have a dog) but it's so much easier to maintain.
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