boys, do NOT get married. Seriously.
Gents, do NOT get married. Seriously. There's nothing in it for you. Seriously.
Worst case - woman divorces you, takes the kids and half your shit.
Best case - you stay married and have to live with a shrew for the rest of your life sleeping with just one chick. No one is fun to be with after a few years. No one. The shit piles up higher and deeper.
EDIT> I've thought a lot about what you guys have said. Perhaps marriage is not the problem. Without marriage I would not have had our two beautiful boys who mean more to me than life itself. The problem is that I played myself. I was not true to what my own needs were, and was too accommodating. I should not have asked my wife to move in so early. I should not have settled. So perhaps a more balanced approach is to just wait until you're mid-30s before getting married. Learn from my mistakes.
Lol "other industries forum."
Joking aside, I think that not marrying and sleeping with many women sounds fun at the surface, but in reality is a depressing life. Eventually you'll realize that getting strange pussy isn't that important and that something is missing in your life. Most people have an urge to start a family and raise children of their own. Whether you talk to a warehouse worker or a F500 CEO, I think most would say that the thing they care most about in their life, where they get most of their life's purpose and fulfillment, is from their family. I don't think there is any greater feeling than finding a bitch you love and starting something with her.
And if all else fails, just get a prenup lol.
someone hire this prospect
It's as real as can be, and as serious as a heart attack. This site is all about "which watch is most prestigious," and other bullshit. Marriage is the single most important financial decision you will make in your lifetime, and simultaneously the singular most important happiness-related decision you will make in your life. It's a serious question as to whether you do get married, when to get married, and to whom. The reference to Rollo Tomassi above is spot on - not because I buy into all the red pill stuff wholesale, but he makes some very good points that are worth considering. You want to date around a lot in your youth and either (1) not marry, or (2) delay and vett extensively, and marry only in your mid-30s or later after you really know yourself. And I mean *really* know yourself. Why? Prenups rarely hold water, and in most states you're going to get butt-raped anyway. And once there's kids in the picture... man, you don't know pain until you have your heartstrings tugged between living with a shrew and risking separation from your kids. And while there's some nonsense on this site about "how do I talk to a girl" which drives me batty, I still wanted to raise the topic here, because marriage is the single.biggest.financial.decision.you.will.ever.make. You all know the divorce statistics. But you likely don't fully appreciated just how F'ed you're going to get in a divorce. It's like saying "I'll bet you half my stuff and my own kids we'll be together forever."
Honestly my own experience doesn't matter. A large portion of my male friends are divorced and lost both family and treasure. Nothing breaks a man's heart like fathering kids and having them taken away. I'm simply firing a warning shot so you guys take a serious look at the downside scenarios of marriange.
Now, I can share my own experience, but honestly my own case doesn't matter. I have it better than most, but it's not great either. In my early 20s I had been dating a few girls, but mostly had focused on getting into b-school and finance. But after b-school my options improved markedly and the few girls I dated were smart and beautiful. One girl was a hedge fund girl who was a smoking 8 and sweet, and probably the smartest person I'd ever met (ranked in the top 3 of all CFA testers globally in her year). Another was a gorgeous professional model (TV and print ads for big brands) who was also incredibly smart and on full scholarship to grad school in finance and spoke 3 languages fluently. Both girls were driven, beautiful, sweet and wifey material.
But when I moved to a new city and got lonely I ended up spending more time with another local girl of a much more humble background. And I made the incredibly dumb move of relatively early asking her to move in with me, just so I wouldn't be so socially isolated. Now she was a very nice girl, and ok pretty (but not beautiful). No red flags, no real body count. I felt "better to have a low-drama 6 than a bitchy 10". But she had no professional prospects and wasn't either driven or up to anything. Very different than the other girls I had been dating. Big mistake. I didn't know the larger implication of moving in together, I just kind of thought "she's sweet and I'm alone in this city, and busy as hell in PE. This way there will be someone there when I get home." And I felt I could change her and motivate her to have something going in her life. But of course I couldn't. People don't change. And now, fast forward 10+ years, she's a stay at home mom, put on a lot of weight, hasn't *ever* seen the inside of a gym, and aged very poorly. Her attitude and demeanor has soured. I've got to carry the financial burden of a family in a HCOL city alone. We have no real things to discuss among ourselves other than "dude, please help scrape poop off the butt of Baby#2". I missed the best dating years, didn't explore sufficiently, and the really attractive and smart girls are now no longer accessible - not because they're not out there and interested, but because now I'm off the market and fooling around is neither moral not prudent (dude's will always get caught). And now, while things aren't terrible, they aren't great either. That sweet 6 has become a bitchy 5. Wife gets jealous all the time if I have female friends. And I guarantee after a decade even the nicest girl going to drive you nuts and piss you off on the daily. Guaran-fucking-tee it. So while my post title was inflammatory and hyperbolic, there's a lot of truth to it. So, I count my blessings that after 10+ years of marriage we've not killed each other, and we've got 2 kids. But there's no romance, the love is dead, and I know I'll never feel the touch of an attractive woman again. And I can't leave, because I've a responsibility, and because I'll lose everything in the process. I'm sure I sound shallow, but forever is a LONG LONG time, especially to be trapped in a loveless marriage, where I'm just the provider and butt wiper. We're now just in it for the kids, at least for 18 years until Baby#2 leaves.
I don't wanna be a dick cuz your situation sounds really tough. But how is this an indictment of marriage as opposed to just some really poor decisions on your part? Totally serious question. It sounds like from the beginning you knew you were super settling with this person, so this actually indirectly is a huge POS move on your part because you were/are essentially leading your partner on from the get-go. Rule #1 in any relationship is don't lead people on, waste their time, or make them feel like second class citizens (i.e. they are "beneath" you). Obviously your wife is going to treat you poorly and not care. Everyone deserves to be with someone who holds them in the highest regard....and you deserve the same for yourself with a partner that will make you happy.
You basically ruined your own life, and the craziest part is that it seems like you knew that it would come to this from the get-go.
For every beautiful girl there is a guy tired of fucking her .
people always take for granted what they easily get
Sounds like someone had a bad Christmas. If you're an Executive Director like you say you are and you still think sleeping around with different chicks is fun, maybe, just maybe you're doing something wrong. Marriage isn't for everyone, but it's a bit of an overstatement to say that there's nothing in it for us guys.
I couldn't agree more, now can you PM me for a networking call?
I think it varies from person to person. Some people aspire to be remembered in the history books for their contribution to the society (or the contrary), whereas others would be content with marrying a girl and having a child that bars them them from their goals. Obviously there are exceptions to the previous statement, but the modern society is different from antiquity and unless you are already wealthy or close to, marriage is going to add much more complexity to the situation to the point that you might not even remember yourself as the man who ever had any goals. Steve Schwarzman gives an example of how his father could have easily scaled his business to all of the US, but he was content with what he had and never did. On the other hand, as we all know Schwarzman is one of the giants in global PE.
While my only 'urge' is to add significant value to this society before I die and maybe adopt and teach some kids, some people have the urge of maintaining a successful family. Nothing wrong with either goals, but I would not go on to generalize women or men's idea of happy life to the extent that you are.
I'm of course being hyperbolic. I love my kids. I don't like my wife at all though. Marriage isn't off the table for all men but it's SUPER risky and should be done only after you're 35, have a career, and truly know yourself. Get a pre-nup, and be 150% sure she is the one you want to build a life around. Do NOT settle. Better to be single than married for 90% of all men.
People in their early 20s love to talk about how they hate marriage and never want to settle down but there is nothing more pathetic than a single guy in his 40s living alone, dating a revolving door of women who don't give a shit about them except their money and then tricking themselves into thinking that they're happy. It's even more pathetic when it's a woman who's single in her 40s as she's absolutely updateable at that point.
So you made lots of money and have a big house? Who cares? You gonna live alone in it and watch movies on your couch or play video games alone as a 40 year old? You worked hard and grinded and now you're rich? What are you gonna do with the money? Spend it on meaningless trips to places alone so you can have mindless one-night stands with some random girls? Wow, so fulfilling and mature! Just wait until you're 50 and still single, with no children, it will be even more pathetic
"mileage" means the fucks girls have in their system, for some it can be 300 fucks for some 600 fucks
this is just like the mileage of cars after which they are not worthy of driving
so when their mileage becomes 90% it's better to leave them
Even fucking Kim Kardashian for the 100th time would feel like fucking a cow
if you study anthropology and evolutionary biology you will see that humans were practicing polygamy for a long time and monogamous relationships don't really work because from a biological standpoint you want to spread seed in as many women as possible
Might as well say don’t do any mergers, they are all terrible and dilutive.
Bullshit.
1. Prenup, get it done right by a competent family lawyer and add some needed clauses if needed.
2. Keep bills from even before starting the relationship (photo and upload them on drive to not have a box around house) and during marriage so you have proofs of your incomes and expenses when you were alone which could be compared with the expenses which you will inccur when you will be together. If a future divorce appears she cannot mislead the judge by saying that your income is so high because of the combination of both parents income and efforts. Even if she gets a minimal % of your wealth, it will be even more reduced because the amount of expenses which you had when you were alone compared to when you were together implies that higher expenses on utilities covered her which is a financial benefit.
3. Do NOT open a joint account, each one with their account and if she needs money, you hand it to through transfer so also you have some proofs + Own line of credit. No exceptions.
4. Do not fall into her manipulative games, women plan long-term so stay aware of anything which smells bullshit.
5. Remain on the top of the game (attractiveness, money, etc.) even in a marriage because if you don't receive attention from other women she doesn't have to put effort into the relationship because you are already under her spell. Let her put effort on it so she stays busy focusing on you.
6. Do not get emotional nor sentimental when you present those proposals to your future wife, if she does not agree on such important financial decisions for yourself then you can assume some of her intentions which is a red flag (she will say oh you don't trust me, you're egoistic - I don't want to listen this shit, see it as it is: Financial interest).
In your first point, you pursued a career which reflects prestige, money and status and that's what you portrayed to the world, so no surprise you got played by some smart ass woman which money was one of her reasons to getting with you and you got blinded by her "love". You got played, but shit happens although maybe some things could be already visible from time I assume but just got ignored.
Regarding your second point, morality is subjective so if as a man I don't get what I want from the relationships and she does not put effort I go to find it somewhere else and if she plays her Uno Card of divorce I get her with a Reverse in case the 5 points were made. So I don't see why you need to confom yourself with only one woman, who is stopping you?
Stay sharp, don't get blinded by romantic bullshit and no one will fucк with you.