How I'll survive graduation and you will to
My fellow Graduating Monkeys,
By now you’ve walked across stage and grabbed your hard earned diploma. You’ve learned everything from how to cram for tests, change your major (multiple times), and put in the minimum effort to achieve the greatest return. If you had any sort of social life you’ve also learned how to stomach copious amounts of cheap booze, slay bitties, and stumble your way home at 3AM blacked out.
Of all these and countless other lessons perhaps the hardest to learn is something that can’t be taught at any school; no matter the prestige or price tag. That is: what happens when the music stops and the real world comes knocking? The freedom and variability an American college offers is long gone and replacing it is responsibility and routine. Bills, loans, 9-5, commuting, taxes, and retirement savings are not just things our parents deal with but now words we must come to terms with for the rest of our lives. These are the first of many real world duties we were spared while living in Neverland. The monotony of post-college life is daunting for us recent grads and after talking with numerous alumni and other poor bastards still clinging to the glory days I have come up with a few points to consider which will ease the transition to real world. As your Valedictorian, I am here to share them with you today.
Wake up
Living in the moment for the past 4 years has been nothing short of amazing. Skipping class to day drink with the boys or sleeping in just for the hell of it is the envy of every humanoid. But at some point or another we have all started to come to the same realization as we did in HS and that is we’re ready for the next chapter. The girls stop looking as good, the themed parties less exciting, and the Keystone more piss tasting. Nothing is forever and to stay in one place is not growth but stagnation. Even if you were to stay and become the next Van Wilder it wouldn’t be the same without all the people you started with and no one wants to become that old fart at the bar/party whom everyone knows is out of place. Staying past graduation is simply not an option. With that in mind don’t be the guy coming back every other weekend.
Look forward but cherish the past
I always looked forward to the future for the sake of the present seemingly unfavorable situation ending. “If I can just get through this week’s test I can finally have some fun,” “this semesters going to suck but the next will be better.” We’ve all had these thoughts but the problem is they prevent any enjoyment from occurring in the present while putting a lot of expectations on the future. After watching Sam Bern’s TedTalk (must watch) I realized two things. I needed to both enjoy the present for it is and also reframe why I looked forward to the future. Despite any inconvenience, hardships, or trials one must still find pleasure. Furthermore, we must start looking forward to what comes next for the sake of enjoying it not escaping the current hell. “2 years IBD then I’m out ” or “just 16 more years until retirement” needs to become something like “while I’m learning a lot from ___ I’m really looking forward to doing ______.” Attitude is everything.
In regards to the past, of course regrets mark our undergrad careers. For one I wish I had taken more chances on a few girls, gone on each Spring Break, and of course studied much harder. However, looking back I wouldn’t have traded the experience for the world. There were nights I felt hopeless with my classes and others I was on top of the world. I made best friends, met amazing people, and traveled the world. I made terribly reckless decisions and learned from them. These experiences have made me who I am today and most of which can only be encountered beneath the forgiving university umbrella. While my coursework was worthwhile I know the soft skills I acquired will take me even further in life. Beginning a new chapter, starting a career, having the chance to make oneself and do something hopefully both worthwhile and enjoyable is exciting. Now you have money to do shit – fun shit - like booze cruises, weekend trips, sports games, concerts, whatever.
Have a routine but don’t be routine
While getting back into shape and shedding the 4-year grinder off is probably a good start; beginning some sort of routine is necessary. Especially if you want to develop healthy habits and succeed in the workplace. Various WSO posts have covered developing routines enough so I won’t bother going into it. What I will say is important is to not become routine. College was one big happy hour and while you still have your youth keep socializing to the best of you’re ability throughout the week. Whether it be dinners, karaoke/trivia night, $1 beers night, wine tasting, whatever – keep at it when possible. Never settle into the suburban lifestyle until its absolutely necessary i.e. you get married and start dying a little everyday. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying the weeknights like college they just cannot be in excess with work being the priority. Weekends on the other hand are a free for all.
Make the effort to stay in touch
As mentioned before, what made college so enjoyable are the people you shared it with. Surely there will be people who will fall off the face of the earth, that’s just life. The meaningful relationships, those who got you through, are to be kept intact. While not everyone may live in the same city or region they are a phone call or flight away. Plan a trip with the boys to Vegas, Miami, Tijuana, or Aspen. Have a GroupMe full of unspeakable nudies, college pics, or just any guy shit in general. Should you live in close proximity with your friend group it will be that much easier. Staying in contact will keep both the memories and friendships alive.
Bottom line, college is over. We simply cannot pause time, nor do we want to. While these may have been the best 4 years of our lives there’s no reason to look at it that way. At one point or another we’ve all been told by alumni to cherish it as time flies and the real world sucks. This is half true. Time does fly, especially when you’re raging your face off with your best buddies. But the real world doesn’t have to suck if you don’t want it to. So if you’re in a rut right now and having withdrawals have no fear – tens of thousands are with you and millions have long graduated and are (happily) functioning members of society. Or at the very least write about how its not a big deal with a case of Natty Lights in reach because it’s somewhat therapeutic and still all you can afford. Life is just beginning for all of us and there’s still a shitload to look forward to. So, look fondly at all the beer bongs, keg stands, slams, and nights full of debauchery like trophies on the mantle but also know the fun doesn’t stop it just changes. You can still get totally bagged on the weekends should your liver desire but life stops revolving around a keg, for the most part.
I’ve read enough (success) stories on WSO to be incredibly fortunate that I was able to enjoy being away from home at an amazing school without having to worry about too many personal issues. I was feeling a bit nostalgic and knowing a number of jr. Monkeys are going through the same transition I figured why not post my thoughts on graduation and see what others may have to say.
Cheers all and Congrats
Mod Note: Throwback Thursday, this was originally posted on 6/1/15
Not sure how I found this, but this is exactly what I needed. I just graduated college and didn't feel too sad about leaving- mainly because I was really poor in college (working 20hrs a week just to pay tuition, had 0 left over money). I had a F100 FLDP offer in hand and was excited to start the next step. Now I'm 3 months into my job, and seeing pictures and videos of my younger friends still at school. While it's nice to have a positive number in my account after paying all my bills, it still hurts to think college is over and weekends and limited PTO are the only time's I'll get to sleep in/relax. Reality is a bitch, and the hardest part about the transition is mentally moving from constant life changes (like highschool to college and college to post-grad) to "Work hard, hope to get promoted, save money, retire."
Thanks for the insight, surprised this post didn't get more attention. +1
yeah too bad i missed this one for the frontpage
Never too late! ;)
Hey man, thanks a lot. I'm glad someone found it some use after it got no love for the past year. It can be a tough ride but I'm happy to say that after a year out things are much better. Like I said in my post, a lot of people have the mindset that college are the best years of your life and while that may be true at the very end of the day you simply cannot have that mindset. It's depressing as shit and counterproductive. You'll start to get into the super cliche 20-something crap like hiking, brunch, breweries/vineyards, and attending pro-sports games. Your not going to get as F'd up and your tailgates won't be filled with hotties but it's still fun especially when you've got your group of buddies. The main thing you need to hold onto from the college days, in my opinion, is your hunger. Never stop driving.
One PSA. Stepping foot back on campus for either work or play can be rough. Don't OD on fun as that Monday morning back is a work of satan himself. I went to homecoming and had an absolute ball getting back on the saddle but it F'd me up for a good month.
Congrats on graduation and just keep living! Maybe I'll do a Pt. 2 one of these days.
Damn, since this just got Front Page'd I read through it again and it still rings so true. I went down to school to visit in April, and even though I didn't feel like I belonged in college anymore, I still had such a blast drinking with the boys that coming back to work was, as you put it, a work of satan.
Things are easier now than when I commented last, and though I would first assume it's because of the passage of time, part of me feels like things are easier because I've had one year's worth of my soul sucked away.
But yeah, I totally agree with your last comment- never lose the hunger. It's easy to get complacent while making a decent corporate salary. In college I felt like there were endless possibilities for me, and I saw my first job offer as the first stepping stone on my path to success. In college you dream of nice houses and yachts and vacations.. Once you graduate you learn that those things will take some time to come to you, so you lose the drive to go after them. It's reinvigorating to look at the world again through your college eyes to remember all the goals you once wanted so badly. Nothing is more important than keeping the hunger alive.
^I hope to see a Pt. 2 some day!
All the best.
Nearly teared up reading this. Exactly what I needed today. Graduating in December, just accepted a full-time job. I'm excited about the future, but I'm sure gonna miss college
It's all models and bottles from here boys.
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