GF left me after saying she'd support an LDR

Had a job offer at my dream "company" in a great group in another state. Spoke about it in great lengths with my GF who said she would support me on the move. 

After I quit my job, she decides it's going to be too difficult and breaks up with me. 

Damn. I'm really down bad right now. I had many offers that I didn't like as much in state and could have potentially waited for something else to come around. 

Can't explain the pain. The only silver lining here is that maybe, maybe, it's a sign that she wasn't the one. The signs were there that she wasn't a full on partner. No compromise, selfish, etc. but there were many things that I loved about her as well.

it sucks to think that my career has potentially killed my relationship with a woman that I love, and I will now be in a new place without any type of support, depressed. 

man's down bad. 

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It's hard to see right now, but the gut-wrenching feelings will pass. If you had previous discussions with her about this and she indicated she'd be in support of your decision then backed out when it came time to sack up, you're right she's not the one. You don't want to spend your whole life with someone who makes decisions on the basis of their own well-being all the time so consider it an early ending to something that otherwise would (or should) have ended down the road. Enjoy the new role man, congrats!


This hit hard: You don't want to spend your whole life with someone who makes decisions on the basis of their own well-being all the time so consider it an early ending to something that otherwise would (or should) have ended down the road. Enjoy the new role man, congrats!

thank you brother 


As a piece of advice to you g. If you ever think of getting with another chick, make it very clear that if it’s ever your future or hers it will always be yours first. A woman is supposed to come into your life and take you to the next level. If you date a career chick it’ll only become a competition down the line. If you succumb to that you’ll never reach your full potential as a man. Don’t sleep on traditional relationships and this is an easy way to filter out girls


Really sorry to hear that but from what you’ve said, it sounds like she wasn’t the one to begin with. If you hadn’t discussed it in detail and she was never on board, I understand that. But to break up with you and use that as the reasoning after you had already made the decision, sounds like she never really was fully in it in the first place and used your move to break it off. I’ve seen it happen before but at least now you know and can have a fresh start somewhere else.


You may not see it this way now, but once you get over the initial sting of the breakup, you’ll have a sick source of motivation to dominate workouts and become an alpha. These opportunities don’t come often in life so use it wisely as fuel for self improvement.

In all seriousness, sorry to hear you’re in this position. Hope you can find peace in the situation soon


Sorry to hear this brotha. Had something similar happen once. Long term, it was for the best. Found someone better, glowed up, and left her in the dust. But it was painful for many, many years, and occasionally still twinges, like an old wound that never perfectly heals. It’s a part of life. Every day it will hurt just a little less until some days you don’t notice it. Until then best things you can do is distract yourself by staying busy with friends, sports, charity, church, video games, travel, whichever of these is your poison. Godspeed.


i know it’s super hard man…i think you’re right in saying she wasn’t the one. my parents did long distance for a couple years when i was growing up, and it’s super hard but if you want to be together you will both find a way. That’s the unfortunate/fortunate truth. Never settle for a woman that wouldn’t support you through hell and back! You’ll find what you deserve man, even though it doesn’t feel like it now…


Sorry if this sounds cold, but she had probably already considered ending the relationship. Your new remote job just made the break-up easier for her. Staying local may have prolonged things, but only for a little while.


I'm sure it stings right now but reality will set in.

I don't know her situation (family / current job) but if she truly loved you and couldn't imagine being with anyone else, she would have found a way to keep the relationship going. 

Head up, things will work out.


I don’t t know what killed your relationship, but it wasn’t distance.

When long distance relationships fail, people conveniently blame the distance to avoid confronting some harsher truth. I have no idea what that harsher truth is in your particular case. Maybe she wasn’t feeling it and used this move as a scapegoat bc it’s an easier out. Or maybe she thought you weren’t feeling it and the move confirmed her fears.  Or maybe something else.  All I know is, if two people are really feeling the right ways out eachother, distance doesn’t end it. So don’t blame your career.


Brother, you will look back on this fondly in a years time. She’s not the one, or she would’ve pushed through the difficulty. That being said, now you move forward. Start the new job, if it doesn’t suit you continue pursuing next opportunities.

There is truly only forward. With each sunrise you will slowly move on to a new, hopefully better chapter in your life. It must be heart wrenching, but keep moving forward.

Focus on using the extra time to embrace some different experiences or for relaxation.

All the best… FORWARD


It's really hard for a young woman to leave her current life and move for you without a formal commitment.  I would tell my daughters not to move to a new city unless she is engaged.


Hey man -- sorry to hear this happened. It sucks and can take a bit of time to get over and that's okay. 

I actually had a similar experience; in my low-points of my PE gig my LDR girlfriend split up with me because she couldn't handle my mental health challenges (at the time). We had been dating since college and made it through IB, so was shocked it happened. 

Since then I too have realized hints of selfishness and overall a lack of fully buying into the relationship, but I did love her.

Funny thing happened is a week later I met a girl via a mutual friend who was hanging out with us that weekend. We ended up hanging out a few times over the next few weeks and started dating a few months later. It was fast, but truly exemplary of the 'When on door closes, another opens' nature life can bring. Funny thing is, it's a much better relationship where we don't really ever fight and just enjoy spending time with each other.

Keep your head up and trust it'll get better, but take the time you need.


Hey my man. Showing up late to this party, but just found out a few weeks ago that I got an offer that is pretty much going to set me up for down the road and it was an absolute no brainer. Only problem was, it’s across the country and I don’t know a soul out there.

With that being said, I’m sure tons of people are going to say this but, remember that life is full of adventure and surprises. There are some things that, if you’ve really had dreams of doing, or some opportunities where if you don’t take them, you will live with regret every day for the rest of your life. I don’t know your position, but from what I’ve heard, unless you had a woman that was willing to support you through thick and thin, wether you moved a state away or across the world, she probably was not the one. And with that being said, maybe “the one” is in your new state or you’ll only meet her by accepting this new challenge and adventure.

Life rewards those that are willing to do what they feel is right. It sometimes sucks, but just wait because it’s got awesome shit for you. Godspeed brother


She already found your replacement and was just looking for an excuse. Don’t be mad about it or take it personally. This is typical of women that age. Never contact her again for any reason. You’ll only regret it if you do. And under no circumstances be her emotional support bitch.

Bang new girls until you’re numb. Find a younger, hotter version of her and eventually you’ll mostly forget this happened. Then when you’re least expecting it, in months or years, you’ll get a text or email from her asking to catch up after she’s been pumped and dumped by 50 guys and lives at her therapist’s office.


I had a friend who turned down good offers to stay in state with his GF. He worked in a no-name firm while she was in a 'prestige' firm and made more than him. She left him after a year or so (for a 'prestige' guy if that matters) and he was devastated. I heard from other people that he spends a lot of time drinking now


See you in the gym bro. But seriously, this obviously hurts now, but long term this is a blessing. This wasn't the right person and settling for a lesser job or waiting for something to come around just for her proves that. Best partners support each other and make the necessary compromises, her breaking it off before even attempting to do LDR for your dream job shows she's not it. I had my ex-fiancée break it off a year before our wedding (we were together 7 years) and it hurt like hell for a while, but I realized it was the best thing that could've happened to me. The two options that would've occurred were this would've happened at a later date with much more difficult circumstances (house, kids, etc.) or it would've progressed into a relationship of just going through the motions and settling, which in my opinion is the worst way to go about life, especially in regards to relationships. Take this as an opportunity to improve yourself and work on becoming the best person you can be, advance your career, further your hobbies, get in great shape and everything else will follow.


Thank you for your comment brother and I am sorry to hear about your experience. I can imagine that was significantly painful. I unfortunately agree with what you are saying here. 


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