Headhunter Etiquette
I'm currently coffee-chatting with PE firms. I'm being presented with increasingly senior people at one well-regarded firm, but am also increasingly sure I'm not a huge fan of the location and strategy.
Their headhunter, one of the big ones, is not showing me any other clients at the moment. I've indicated my location/strategy preferences previously but said I'm very flexible. (Don't know how to say this unpretentiously but it's very unlikely an issue with my school or current firm/group's reputation.)
What should I do here? I don't want to burn bridges with either the firm or the headhunter.
The answer is clearly to speak up. Play it forward…if you do nothing you’ll either (i) stick around too long, get this gig, then burn bridges when you turn it down (firm and HH will be pissed; plus wasted your time), or (ii) you continue with lackluster interest and firm cuts you (for bad questions, lack of enthusiasm, clear disinterest) and the HH writes you off as a lower quality candidate.
Be a big boy/girl and own it with the HH. “While I’ve enjoyed getting to know this firm more, it’s also helped me hone what I’m looking for/not and realizing I can’t see myself in XYZ city OR XYZ strategy just doesn’t resonate with my long-term career interests. I recognize that I originally said I was flexible, but I’ve learned more through these conversations and want to refine my screening criteria for future opportunities to focus on X.”
Burning friends is bad; burning bridges make pretty skies
I'd have a candid conversation with the headhunter. Something along the lines of: "I've really enjoyed getting to know the team, and I appreciate you putting me in front of increasingly senior people. The more I learn about the opportunity, though, the less certain I am that the strategy/location is the right long-term fit. I'm still interested in exploring the space, so I'd love to get your perspective on whether there are other mandates that might be a closer match. I don't want to waste anyone's time if the fit isn't there."
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