How rigid are compliance trading policies?

Hey monkeys, 

I'm an intermittent reader of the forum since WSO helped me get a job in IB many moons ago, hoping to tap the big network for some advice once again.

My wife works in PE and has submitted to her firm's compliance policy that forces me to pre-clear any PA trades. I'm generally ok with not being able to put on certain trades. The real problem arises when after months or years of owning something (that I bought with compliance's OK) it gets stuck on the watch list and I'm forced to hold something I no longer want.

The watch list is huge and growing. Direct employees aren't allowed to trade individual securities whatsoever, so investment team's aren't motivated to delete stale names... 

I work in a buyside role that lets me trade my own PA. Unfortunately we're not structured to invest alongside the fund. I really don't want to plug a passive fund in my PA when I think I can do better with my own or my fund's ideas. 

Does anyone have experience bending a compliance policy to be more flexible for a non-employee family member? 

Has anyone worked in compliance and seen exceptions made? What does it take to get an exception?

Why should I be subject to her firm's compliance policy in my PA when I'm freely trading as part of my job?

Am I wasting my effort and should just fall in line and buy/trade ETFs?

I get that big organizations need policies to protect themselves, but if I did something nefarious I would risk losing my job and going to jail, so obviously not going to do anything stupid.

Thanks for any feedback and ideas.