How to fix bad relationship with VP in PE
All,
Thank you in advance for your input. Currently associate at a top PE shop (RE team) that I recently joined, I feel the need to ask for some guidance.
As a background, I did my analyst stint at a more institutional shop and graduated from a top school. Always had good relationships with previous managers, but also with my current team members, except one VP that makes me miserable on a daily basis when staffed with him on a new deal.
I must admit that he is brilliant (kind of big profile with almost perfect GPA in engineering at a top school reputable for science, don’t even know why he ended up in finance), but also a huge ass****. We kind of had a good fit during the interview as for a fun fact we come from the same state/town among others.
However, since we started working together, I have absolutely prayed not to be staffed on his projects, as he has been speaking badly to me, always fix tighter deadlines, want to stay late at the office even when nothing urgent/important to do… He is also stating that I am too slow, while working with other VPs, Directors, and even MDs I have only received very positive feedback so far. He is kind of acting that way with other associates sometimes as well, but it has been pretty intense especially when it comes to me.
Honestly I just want to punch him multiple times in the face and knockout the fuck out of him but I am trying to change so would like to act differently (and also to save my career). Not really the kind of guy open to discussion so any thoughts would be helpful here.
Thank you for reading me, especially as the long hours do not help to stay calm.
sorry to hear that op. hope things get better. dm if want to chat more.
How long is the deal for? Just sit it out and then be proactive about your own staffing going forward
………….
Do you realize how easy it is for the VP to know exactly who you are when you provide this level of information? Many at the VP level read this forum.
Would seriously recommend redacting most details from this post, especially since you call him a huge asshole and say you want to knock him out.
I am the VP referenced. Associate 1 in RE - Comm, see me tomorrow am and 1v1 me.
Placing my bet on VP for a TKO...
But real talk, OP I know your situation first hand. My recommendation may not be liked, but it is to avoid VP as much as possible on deals, hallways, small talk, etc. When staffed together, do your best work, just listen to his criticisms and ignore (i.e. don't talk back), and move on. Get close to your staffer if you have one, or the other VPs who run deals and get staffed with them for the most part.
It seems like others like you at the firm so having one potential bad review vs. more good ones isn't a big worry. As per why he is being like this, and especially to you, I would pin it down to insecurities and internal frustrations with himself. So again, just ignore and avoid. One bad apple shouldn't make your time at the firm miserable when everyone else is cool.
+1... OP I would take out a lot of these details, especially about your / this person's background and your interactions. This forum has a ton of lurkers even if they're not posting
You should bring food and coffee to coworkers in general. No one hates the guy who brings in cookies, coffee and sandwiches. Not joking.
Aside figure out what makes the VP tick and speak to that. Does he have kids? Bring him some children’s books for the kids. Is he a wine lover? Bring him a bottle from time to time. Likes coffee? Bring him some on occasion and maybe even a bag of imported beans. You grew up in the same home town. Maybe there’s some common ground you can build around that.
Also you say he is brilliant. Take him out for lunch and say “brother, I think you’re brilliant. I want to learn from you. You have raised some issues around my work and I want you to know I am sincerely trying to get better. Help me learn from you and your experience.”
Do you have a staffer? Can you bring it up to him/her?
I will punch him in the face for $500/punch.
You're welcome
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