Introvert, currently in PE and miserable....
Hi guys:
I'm currently working in PE at a Tier 2 firm, and would love to hear your thoughts on my situation.
I'm a very introverted person - by that, I don't mean I'm aspergers or can't speak. In fact, I was involved in competitive debate in my youth. However, I tend to get sensory overload from all external factors, have avoided parties and loud events my whole life, and was a late bloomer socially. I was also quite awkward as a teen, though I'm quite socially normal now. TLDR - I function as a normal person in most social situations, but it's not my strength, and when the intensity is up, I feel uncomfortable.
Fast forward to my current job, there are a few things that gnaw at me and make me doubt my long-term sustainability - 1) my team has lot of people, and thus, a lot of politics /dynamics going on. I notice all of them, and it makes me stress out a lot. Especially those that affect me - I find myself playing out how things could go (wrong) in my head and it brings up a lot of stress to me, and I'm not as focused or fulfilled at my job. 2) I have trouble working with certain people - there's someone who's senior to me who consistently lies and throws people under the bus; I'm so nervous around that person that I literally feel quite miserable working for them. 3) I'm not one of those people who can "make good things happen to me" - by that, I mean that I've observed certain people who are really good at interpersonal skills and can make good things happen for themselves in these situations.
I'm done with my first year now, and exploring options that can be more sustainable for myself. I was considering the HF route, but yes, I know that politics/throwing under the bus happen everywhere. I just wonder if I may be less miserable if my work revolves less around people - do you guys think it's true at HFs (not looking at L/S or multi-manager hedge funds, but those with a longer investment horizon).
If anyone's also an introvert or experienced similar struggles, I'd love to hear your thoughts!
I am very sorry to hear that you are suffering day-to-day in your private equity job. It is impressive how well you know yourself and that you can pinpoint exactly what makes the experience so difficult for you. The more senior you become in private equity, the more time you will be expected to spend on people management, deal origination, meetings, conferences - and you will be further away from deal analysis.
Given that you are completely aware of things that you don't enjoy - would you consider exploring options in investment management where people value intellectual output, above all? Asset management, portfolio management, HF - especially those with LT time horizon and high-conviction, concentrated portfolios? Seems to me it is time to move. Good luck!
I feel similar. Am in corporate development, but likewise with PE, moving up to more senior positions usually means being more extroverted, good with people, communication, relationships and managing deals - all of which I am not good at and don’t enjoy, being an introvert.
I wish to move into a role where excelling is driven by performance, analysis and raw intellect, so I have been eyeing public market roles recently. probably may need to make the jump to sell side research first before even having a shot at buyside. however I am concerned about the industry in general given fee compressions, quants and shift to passive
Your sadness has nothing to do with being an introvert but with being in an organization with a messed up culture.
I would jump ship if you're having such a bad time. If you check out my post history, you'll find I've given strategies on how to deal with such a culture based on unfortunate anecdotal experience.
Look for a job at a family office doing PE, even though you still have to deal with clients there will be less office politics
Or become a quant/trader/something else more technical and then you could have full blown Aspergers and be fine
Go to therapy. There are so many options for therapy through zoom now so even fi the time isn't convenient for business hours, you can still find someone. It may end up being that PE isn't right for you, or it may be that you need to talk things over and learn to not overthink situations. But this is beyond WSO's pay grade.
Is business and finance really the right career for you if you are introverted and have trouble communicating? Also, my wifi connection to this website sucks. MIght accelerate my leaving this website for good.
phew
If you can stick it out for another few years and develop more of the full investing skill set, then regardless of your firm's estimation of your long-term value, you'll be able to do your own deals and do them however you want.
I don't work like most investment professionals. I can't chase down nineteen leads at a time while one portfolio company is undergoing a management change and another deal is in late-stage diligence. My diligence process is a mix of outsourced service providers and very specific questions to be answered deeply and thoroughly. I am very selective - about how I network, what deals I investigate, what questions I ask owners, and who I ask for money.
I am not advocating this as a workstyle. Those with the ability to task-switch seamlessly and run multiple threads in parallel can just get more done in a day/week/month than I can (and are going to make more money than I will in the long run). I work this way because it's really the only way I can - I'm pretty limited in some areas, so I work in a way that highlights my strengths and doesn't overweight my weaknesses. Think of it this way: I work in an industry that rewards and celebrates machine guns, but all I have is a sniper rifle. So instead of forcing myself learn to fire and reload my sniper rifle as fast as I can to try to keep up with the machine guns, or beating myself up that I wasn't issued a machine gun, I accept that my weapon doesn't work the same as others, and I look for different targets where my weapon has an advantage. Sure, maybe I have to do weird stuff like sleep in a tree or crawl through a field for 12 hours, but a kill is a kill.
I struggled in workplaces that were more fragmented, where I could be staffed across four deals under two partners and have all sorts of ongoing administrative, networking, intermediary coverage, and other responsibilities in a given week. Constant sensory overload. Took me a long time to quit blaming myself ("what's wrong with me that this is so challenging") and start adapting to finding situations where I could be more successful.
There's no right answer for how long to "tough it out." I probably spent another 10 years from where you are now before I made some critical adjustments. Was that too long? Maybe, but it also allowed me to develop the tools to be able to work the way I do today. If you have physical manifestations of stress (ulcers, hair loss, heart palpitations, etc.) then I would say it isn't worth it, and it's time to pull the plug. But ultimately, you have to decide for yourself what you're willing to put up with and for how long.
Love this post. If you could rewind your career to start in a position that matches with your skill set better, whether in PE or elsewhere in finance or even a specific type of fund, where would you go? Worded oddly maybe but hopefully the direction of the question makes sense.
I ask because it sounds like we have similar makeups as it relates to overload, and I don’t know that I want to continue my time in the M&A crossfire much longer and certainly not longer than I need to. PE used to be the clear next step in my mind but increasingly I’ve been reconsidering it. The deal work itself interests me on a singular basis but not at the velocity and capacity found at most PE firms so it would be great to know what “PE-lite” options exist out there.
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