PE Phrases vs. What They Probably Mean

“Let’s not reinvent the wheel.” (This analysis will give you an aneurism) “Don’t spin your wheels” (you will need a NASCAR pit crew to fix your wheels after this) “Make sure we have a dashboard” (make sure to say the word “dashboard” as much as possible when the portco underperforms. Bonus points for adding “KPIs”) “Its right down the fairway” (only to be used on an asset that has 0 chance of getting through IC) “Mission critical” (only to be used in markets where anyone with a pulse can do the same business) “Go to market strategy” (use when you have little to no value prop) “Small nit” (going to require half a day to do at minimum) “Blocking and tackling” (I was cut from varsity football and need to show people I was an athlete, but don’t want to say basic business lingo) “Robust” (average at best) “Value creation” (how many people are synergies here? Make sure we stand up that India call center) “Operating leverage” (when you want to say the business will improve when volume improves, well No Shit) “Strong management team” (ignoring the CEO that clearly has a cocaine problem, we don’t want to have to run this business) “What do the KPIs tell us” (I haven’t looked at them since the last board meeting, what does this business do anyways?) “We know this space pretty well” (I read the one industry slide in the CIP for 45 seconds) Your results may vary. Comment more below