Saying Goodbye to Finance?

how old r u and how much do you make?

I don't really have many helpful thoughts on this matter except to say that I was in pretty much your exact spot 6 months ago and decided to pull the plug and start doing what I actually wanted with life (it has 0 to do with finance - think something like writing/academia). I completely left commercial life though, so kind of different than what you're contemplating. 

I was completely trapped in this mindset and social circle which was very fixated on prestige (a holdover from insecure college days), and what helped was realising that it was a very narrow version of prestige. Even working in MF PE, the only people who really gave a shit were other people in PE/IB, or the types who wanted to know how to get my job. Basically, people who I really didn't want to be friends with anymore. My friends in journalism, medicine, and art barely had a clue about the difference between Carlyle and Thoma Bravo.

The hard part is always finding something that gets you excited and is worth doing, not saying goodbye to finance. The moment you start liking something enough that you start getting annoyed that your workday is getting in the way of you doing that thing, then you know. It's really easy from there. I don't really miss being part of the high finance scene that much, and strangely enough I don't miss the money (although it's only been 6 months so time will tell). 

Went on WSO today for the first time in months to read the Tipping MD's post, then came across this. Honestly thought it was one of the ones I wrote 12 months ago.

I left PE as a second year associate for pretty much the same reasons you laid out. I realized I didn't care about Prestige and saw myself either turning into my co-workers to force myself to like the job or eventually burning out (hated most of my co-workers besides a few Associates). I tried therapy and ended up going on anti-anxiety / -depressants during this phase which certainly helped me cope, but eventually realized I didn't want the life or Prestige enough anymore to want to keep up the lifestyle I was living. My best friends didn't care that I was in was at a top Chicago PE shop, they liked me for who I was in college or outside of work. 

My original plan was to grind through my second year and then take time off or go to B-School, but I ended up getting a job referral for a Corp Dev / Strategy role that was in my dream, niche industry. A huge pay cut, but working 40-50 hours a week and getting to do stuff every night of the week (if I want) is so refreshing. Going to the gym more, cooking for myself more, hanging out with my friends and (new, old one dumped me cuz of PE) girlfriend more, traveling and visiting parents more. What I lost in Prestige / Comp I'm making up for in my new free time, at least in my eyes. Sure I won't be a Billionaire but I'm making more than enough to support my lifestyle and haven't thought twice about the decision I made.

Hope this helps.

I appreciate the comments here and have been fascinated by the level of honesty that so many have shared. Will start by saying I utterly respect those who feel called to provide for themselves and their families by working in these types of roles. Full stop. Hard work is a good thing, indeed, from a religious perspective (no need to agree with me here to get something out of this post), God himself was a worker, creating the earth and making man/woman in his own image. What is worrisome and so easy to become trapped by is the notion that identity is directly linked to what you do at work and who you work for. This as many people have found is very shaky ground to stand on. It's shaky ground to stand on especially in high finance, because the circles that people often run in at these work environments often create the illusion that this path is all that matters and that society does indeed have tiers when it comes to the types of jobs that are truly fulfilling or have any meaning (e.g. a job at Carlyle is more valuable than a job at EY). It's also shaky ground to stand on because as we all know, our time is completely consumed day and night to the point where by having hardly any time outside of work, we can become a shell of ourselves and suddenly feel that work is our life, furthering the tension between the thought that our identities are directly linked to our work. I think a good first step for many, and one that I've found incredibly helpful, is to truly accept the fact that I am not my job. I'll say it again. I am not my job. I am not the income I make. I am not the mistakes I make. I am not the victories I encounter. I am not my performance bonus. Once this is accepted as truth, it becomes easier to view the world and your work differently and suddenly feel a heightened level of freedom. Indeed you can view those closest to you differently as well - equipped with the understanding that they too are not defined by where they work or what they earn. Practically speaking, and where I find myself even while working in a high finance role, is starting to question how to spend the most valuable asset of them all: time. Indeed, time moves in one direction as we all know, and I think society has not done a good job of emphasizing just how valuable time is, or at least it has distracted us to the point where we lose track of how we are spending it. If we're being honest, most of us agree that we can find a source of good income. We cannot go back 5 years and spend 24 more hours with our loved one who passed away - though we will in the life to come (discussion for another time). And thus, equipped with the realization that our identity is not what we do, but who we are: intricately created human beings made by God (again, just my conviction and I don't disrespect other convictions here) capable of creating goodness and beauty in the world, a healthy freedom can form in our approach to work, regardless of the level of demand, that seeks to provide value and serve others rather than trying to protect what used to be an identity linked to work. It also introduces the possibility that our time, again, life's most valuable asset in my view, does not have to be spent in an office from 8am-2am working on that which may not bring happiness and joy to your life. For everyone this looks different, and indeed we all have different goals, and some are certainly better positioned to do jobs like this than others. For me, I've considered what it would look like to create assets that provide more time in my life to do all the other things that bring happiness and joy into my life that a job in high finance long term does not allow me to do. What it would look like to enjoy a full weekend completely on my own without worrying about getting called or pinged for work? What would it look like to save in such a way as to have the opportunity to take a sabbatical to spend uninterrupted time with those I love? By no means do we want to be foolish with our finances and I fully understand that life has its costs, but thinking critically about your own happiness and how you can serve the world to bring about joy and happiness in others lives is a worthwhile endeavor. If you feel that a career in PE or IB is the answer to bringing beauty and truth and goodness in the world, awesome. If you don't think that is really the path best suited to serve others and enjoy happiness, be comforted in knowing that there is freedom in that. Totally understand the tension and the pressures that society puts on us, but you'll never regret being selfish with your time doing what truly brings you joy day to day. For further reading, consider the book "Excellent Sheep" which provides helpful perspective here. For a more religious take, consider "You Are What You Love" by James KA Smith. I'll close with words from the old poem by Robert Frost: two roads diverged in a yellow wood…and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.