The rat race & mentally exhausted

To cut things shorts I come from a poor immigrant background, went to an ok non target and made to a BB at a sweaty but good group with good exits (very happy,grateful and content I made it, and i know starting on the desk next year will change my life - at least financially).

Well I keep on thinking what's next, what should i do next so i can ensure myself that i have a good career where i can support my future family, myself and my current family.

Having been around finance people i think to myself I have to land the next big thing (PE) I have to go to a reputable shop that pays well and will allow me to have Career mobility. Sadly, i dont have 4.0 gpa my SAT scores are horrendous compared to these ivy league kids.

I am months away from starting at the desk, yet i feel like i cant relax i need to keep going when i know i should relax and take this time i have for granted, i feel like i should start prepping for PE when I barely know about what these funds do, I dont know shit about PE (besides that they lever up to buy companies for return) or what PE work actually looks like, all i can do is a simple paper LBO.  I feel constantly stressed when i shoudn't be, what i want to do is play my ps5, chill, workout (i workout but I dont do the other fun things in life I should be doing) and chill more, but on the other hand if i do that i feel like i will fail in the future. IDK im mentally stuck 

3 Comments
 

well at some point i have to take account for the hours especially when i plan to have a family

 

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