Flat-Out LOSER
Came here to ask what % of you are actually losers and wound up in CRE for want of alternatives. don't shoot me: i'm asking because every single thing I've tried has crashed and burned and now I'm again staring down the first day as a CRE analyst at underpaid Properties LTD or whatever tthe fuck.
Asking about the very-real subject of being a loser--a loser in literally all aspects of my career, private, and personal life.
I am not good at damn-near anything. Can't do math, failed in college. Didn't pass STEM classes, though I tried. got a 3.4 in college because they won't fail you so I realistically should've gotten a 2.0.
Writing anon so hopefully doesn't come off as bragging, but I actually did exceptionally well in school and seem to do very well at most things I set out to try. That's just me personally though, effort and common sense are the most important traits in real estate, IMO. If you know how to take a step back and just think, then add in a solid work ethic, you'll do great in the industry. Not sure how you are with relationships, but being a likable person and having a high EQ is also huge.
Some of the smartest kids on paper I've ever worked with don't know how to take a step back from the spreadsheet and see if the deal makes sense logically. That's a huge problem when the business is so simple. Hard work + basic common sense/logic will get you a LONG way.
The second paragraph big time - a lot of the most brilliant kids that get jobs in IB or other "prestigious" roles because they're smart on paper and come across polished can never truly advance beyond a certain level whether it's in real estate or elsewhere, largely because they can crunch numbers like nobody's business but lack general business sense which can't be taught in a classroom (and to a degree can't really be taught at all if you don't have a natural knack for it).
Personally, I had an IB offer and opted to go into a development analyst role out of school because I had way more interest in real estate than traditional high finance.
OP - there are certainly people in this field who got into it because they couldn't cut it in traditional finance, but those guys are generally bums who don't actually understand the asset class, can't explain an investment thesis beyond the numbers, and end up at second or third rate shops. The people at successful companies are, generally speaking, every bit as smart as guys in IB and PE. The skill set is just different - they may not all be as numerically savvy but have far more intelligence in other areas. Skilled developers especially. Many of the best developers I know also have successful businesses in areas outside of real estate.
I think staying pre-law and actually going to law school, which was my original plan, would have been a far more disappointing route.
I'm glad I went after commercial real estate. I'm very glad I got into development.
Being a loser is a mentality problem. You can fix it. If you aren't good at anything, that just means you aren't good at anything right now. Find something interesting and get good at it.
I don't just mean at work either. Not everyone has a fulfilling and mentally stimulating job for their entire career. Sometimes, you're just going through the motions, showing up for a paycheck because you have to. Most people hit this point at some time in their career. It ebbs and flows. In the meantime, you can work on the process of improving at things so you can apply that experience to your professional life. Learn a new skill. Learn a new hobby. Get obsessed with something and watch endless youtube videos and read endless books about it until you get legitimately good at it and feel good about yourself.
Then find a new job that you actually care about and apply that drive professionally.
fuck CRE. Trying to break OUT of it. I only posted here because that's where I feel trapped, and intellectually the market demand has met my labor supply : \. Fucking fuck this field, I hate finance.
No it's not a mentality--I actually am quite literally a loser. I was going to write a short post about it in off-topic but didn't have time--yes I am objectively a failure.
The 1 thing I haven't tried is LAW and I'm curious whether I'd succeed in it. I enjoy the concept, don't know if real law is like how I envision it to be. why did you want to escape pre-law?
I have fields of interest but I eventually (or sometimes soon after changing to those fields of intrigue) fuck them up...chronically
This is a mentality problem. Everyone is a loser at something, and everyone feels like a loser sometimes, that's just life. Everything is perspective, there's always someone worse off than you. Stop comparing yourself to what others are doing and where you think you should be. There are kids who would kill to have your job and would say that you're highly successful where you're at. Don't say it's not a mentality problem. Not being able to see that perspective absolutely is a mentality problem.
I wish you the best in your role. This is an awesome industry, I hope you're able to enjoy it as much as the rest of us do.
If you hate finance, why are you posting in the real estate forum? We're here because we like TANGIBLE assets, bro!
Right, because I'm sure you watched a couple episodes of Suits and now you want to be a lawyer
So like I said, it's a mentality problem
Not gonna lie, if you have to make a post asking if you are a loser you probably are.
I know, and yes, I am. that's why I'm asking.
he was quite straightforward with it but thx for clarifying the obvious 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
great input 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
Life happens. Sometimes you fail and end up with a better alternative. Keep you head up for the future.
I've been told that and it hasn't happened. There really is a stage where you can't have life shunt you around like a pinball thinking "this next mistake will be my fucking big break" everyone who says that is not entirely truthful, or they're being directed by a fate. I'm not--I'm legitimately fumbling the ball during my 'big breaks" and fucking up
I'm not asking how to find opportunities I'm asking how to stop everyone else and my bad habits from stymiying them
Just my 2 cents, but OP it sounds like you need a therapist more than a career switch. A lot of the stuff you’ve already done such as graduating college, landing a job in this economy, and trying lots of things are accomplishments in their own right. Feeling like a “loser” isn’t something that anybody here can fix, that attitude about yourself has to change internally.
If it makes you feel any better, I think I can relate to where you are. I did mediocre grade-wise in college, had an irrelevant degree, and no job lined up. Watching my friends go into their full time roles in consulting, finance, and tech made me feel like I was a fuck-up. I eventually landed my first job at a smaller real estate shop, but still felt like a bum working on tiny deals (and comparing myself to others which is also unhealthy). However, I worked my ass off there and networked a ton, and after a while I lateraled to a shop where I’m genuinely really excited about the work.
All this is to say that just because where you are right now isnt where you want to be, that doesn’t define you. If you make the conscious decision to not try and improve, or quit and just try something else because you “failed at another thing”, then yeah, maybe you’d be a loser. I’d say go talk to a therapist, figure out what it is that you really want, and build out your path to get there. Maybe its not RE in the long run, but complaining on the internet about how you keep failing is not how you become successful.
Some books that helped me figure out what to do (at least career wise) are So Good They Can’t Ingore You by Cal Newport, and Range by David Epstein. Both talk about how some people aren’t organically slotted into a perfect path towards the perfect job, but if you put the time in to get better, you will eventually find your stride. Hope this helps and good luck.
Thanks. WSO has it's own funnel of shit (not you i mean) but a lot of therapy is exactly like this board--"you're not a failure because you are xyz" and "you're not a dematerialized pile of dead tissue or a crab or something so you're doing fine!"--. I seriously think therapists' protocols are to say well if you didn't de-volve into some precambrian trillobite you're doing fine". Then we turn around and complain everyone gets a participation trophy in school. Let the dang children have participation trophies while we raise standards for adults who want something more than having not devolved into a trillobite
I am not exaggerating when I say I fuck up a lot a lot--I don't want to take time from y day to explain every single bad move I've taken but they are extensive. What you and many on this thread are assuming, almost with a religious-degree of conviction, is that simply nobody is a chronic fuck up, that there is an asymptote around zero or above zero, and everyone who claims to be chronically a failure is inevitably hyperbolizing his failure-du-jour. I don't get that.
Yea bro you need therapy for sure lol. This is big time imposter syndrome.
You got a role in CRE on the buy side, you're better off than 95%+ of the population. You graduated college, got a solid job, and are self-aware. Congrats! Just because you didn't make it into a job that less than 1% of applicants get (applicants consisting of a miniscule portion of the overall population) doesn't make you a loser.
you might’ve just picked the career that was completely opposite of your natural skills. like telling an artist to do IB or go to med school. You don’t have the be a high finance guy or a real estate mogul to feel happy about where you are. doesn’t make you a loser. you’re probably still above average but wso nerds are making you feel less of yourself. Just stop lowering your own bar even if it’s a joke. your whole life will start to spiral that direction faster
Can't tell if this is a troll or not
I think he just came here to call everyone here a loser for being in CRE
I picked my path carefully and started in REPE out of undergrad very much on purpose - more realistic to start my own shop dealing with RE acq and dev versus corporate PE/buyouts (straight from a mentors mouth - he does both and told me he wishes he focused on the RE side of his fund - granted he had a crazy exit and wound his fund down)
Cliche but winners never quit and quitters never win.
Stop making excuses. Suck it up and kick ass in what you want to do. Anything is possible with the right attitude, persistence and drive.
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