investment sales bros pls.. pls fix your website listings... i am begging you...

It's another beautiful friday afternoon in the office.  The sun is shining, children are dancing about in the breeze, and people are going home early with a twinkle in their eye.  

I too will soon join them in freedom, but there is a final task before me that I must complete - competitor tracking.  

I'm visiting your little websites, clicking on the little investment sales links, using the little filters so I can look at your little listings.  The world fades away as I *click*, *click*, *click*, stopping this simple process only occasionally to update the database, because one of you managed to convince the owner of a 20-unit property in a secondary market that right now, q1 2023, is just a real good time to sell.  It is my opium.

I stop - I've reached the moment I've dreaded since I started my little project, and I am ripped away from my trance.  A tear drips down my cheek, falling down onto the seat of my rolly chair and staining the bit of fabric next to my nuts.  

I've reached YOUR listing page.  It is atrocious.  The UI doesn't work correctly.  There is a property in Falfurrias that is in Mongolia for some reason.  I hit ctrl and spin my scroll wheel, as your site directs when using the map, and my whole monitor skyrockets to 500% zoom like it's the U.S.S. Enterprise.  

I've filtered by 'multifamily' but have to dig through 100 listings that are decidedly not that at all.  Undeveloped land?  The shittiest trailerpark in Arkansas that I've ever seen in my life?  A duplex?  TWO HOUSES???

Please sir, I am LITERALLY on my knees, I am begging you.  Please just put the properties in the right place.  I promise, if someone is specifically filtering for multifamily properties, they are not going to be tricked into buying a field in Amarillo just because you tagged it wrong.  They do not want to buy your portfolio of 30 single family homes.  

I can feel you mocking me.  It was your plan all along.  A passive defense against the guy who looks at your website every week perhaps, intended to slow me down.  But I will sit and click and slog through your shitty listings.  I will not be deterred, even though it is painful and time consuming.  Why do you hurt your brother?  Why do you spite your fellow RE-tard?

3 Comments
 

Because if there were functioning IS sites, it would make it glaringly obvious that we don't actually need investment sales brokers, because their entire job can be done through a passive web page.

 

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