Protecting Relationships

Hi all,

Long story, I have some strong relationships in my market which have taken a long time to cultivate. My boss doesn’t seem to care who’s relationships they are, and he routinely will cut me out on conversations with them. It bothers me, and it’s very important to me that I’m not “cut out.” Curious to hear if anyone else has dealt with this and how. Thanks.

9 Comments
 

I can do that, but that just feels awkward….

Why?

Look, a lot of this is reciprocal.  If your contact is willing to cut you out that easily, then something else is going on or that person is an ass and isn't a "relationship" worth keeping.

 

It’s less of an active cutting out from my contacts standpoint. As I said, it’s my boss taking action, not my contact.

And to your “Why?” …because it’s awkward. Being possessive over a relationship is inherently awkward. Further, to ask my contact to not act in their best interest by working with someone more senior in the company (assuming I’m fine with it) would be a unreasonable ask from my standpoint.

My question was more around addressing that with my boss, and I should have been more clear.

 

Hm.  I guess the short response is that no one but you can answer for your feelings.

I wouldn't feel uncomfortable telling a coworker "hey, I put a lot of time and effort into cultivating this relationship for the firm, I'd like to be included when we speak with him/her."  I think that's a pretty mature and reasonable ask.  Especially since the obvious implication is that you won't put that time and effort in if someone is going to go behind your back, which is also fair.  Make the relationships and don't introduce them to your boss if they won't respect that boundary, or at least attempt to.

 

I can do that, but that just feels awkward….

Either you care enough to do something about it or you don't care enough and should stop complaining on the internet. 

Commercial Real Estate Developer
 

Tempora ipsam vero unde sit. Officiis quam explicabo vel fugiat vel. Molestiae ducimus facilis iusto esse doloremque repellendus. Excepturi sint facere necessitatibus. A laborum molestias dignissimos ut deleniti voluptatem.

Esse ut odio corrupti at quisquam. Vitae voluptatem iste nesciunt voluptas est at.

Doloribus pariatur ab eum magnam. Dolorem eum et et quam.

Career Advancement Opportunities

August 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.4%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • JPMorgan 01 98.3%
  • Morgan Stanley 08 97.8%
  • Goldman Sachs 02 97.2%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

August 2026 Investment Banking

  • Moelis & Company No 99.4%
  • Evercore No 98.9%
  • Morgan Stanley 01 98.3%
  • Banco Santander 02 97.8%
  • BMO Capital Markets 12 97.2%

Professional Growth Opportunities

August 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.4%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • Morgan Stanley 06 98.3%
  • Goldman Sachs 01 97.8%
  • JPMorgan 01 97.2%

Total Avg Compensation

August 2026 Investment Banking

  • Vice President (16) $429
  • Associates (47) $258
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (8) $210
  • 2nd Year Analyst (25) $178
  • Intern/Summer Associate (14) $159
  • 1st Year Analyst (83) $151
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (74) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
3
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
4
kanon's picture
kanon
99.0
5
DrApeman's picture
DrApeman
98.9
6
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
7
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
8
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
9
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
98.9
10
Mimbs's picture
Mimbs
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”