What to do in this tough situation? Need advice
I’m a first year analyst straight from UG. I’ve been at my analyst job working in debt and equity placement for about 3 months now or so. I had previous internships at CBRE and other small offices.
The person training me is also an analyst and reviews my work as a way to train. When reviewing my work, he makes the rudest and bluntest comments and belittles me, when I’m still learning. He doesn’t say these things to my face but only in writing when reviewing my work. I’m tempted to quit.
Do I walk away from this job? It’s really mentally draining and feel like it’s not worth it. I do like the job but this one asshole makes it hard to be here.
One of two things is happening: 1) they're super insecure about their work product so they feel the need to shit on you; 2) it's cultural and they get shit on by their seniors.
If it's one, you need to get slightly thicker skin and just take the positives from your interactions until you can get more exposure to others.
If it's two, it's worth getting out because it won't get better.
He’s the only one of 2 seniors so i think he has a big head. And it’s literally only him. Everyone else is cool af. Should I speak with my manager ?
You 100% should address it, but its the way in which you address it that matters most. I suggest using some form of the following: approach another senior who you have a better relationship and ask for honest, blunt feedback on your work. Do not preface as to why, just that you're looking to improve and would appreciate his/her opinion. If you receive similar feedback, maybe your work here is the problem and its just a training issue (which is fine). If the feedback is significantly less harsh, or even positive, politely ask for a private moment of the senior's time.
It is VERY important that you approach this respectfully, but approach this with the phrase "I am looking for your advice on a complicated issue." They will be engaged and appreciate you sought out their help, making them want to help you. You need to explain that 1) you've received consistently negative feedback that differs from what you just heard from the senior you're speaking with, 2) the language in their opinion isn't constructive (which you would appreciate and say that) but instead unnecessarily aggressive (cite examples), and 3) this has resulted in you not only not improving, but feeling uncomfortable in the office. You then make clear that you DO want constructive criticism and you DO recognize there is room to improve, and that you've held off on bringing this up for a significant period of time because you did not want them to think you couldn't handle the toughness of the job, but at this point there is no other reasonable explanation for what you're experiencing other than it being personal (and maybe throw in that you don't know why and you've enjoyed your time in the seat and never had any issues with this person). Emphasize that you are not looking to cause issues or asking for this person to intervene, but just professional advice from them on how to handle a situation such as this. They most likely will keep an eye out for you and even might try to solve it behind your back. While there's the chance for this to spark issues with your current manager, it's significantly less likely because they other person *should* see your desire to de-escalate the situation and approach things with the same demeanor. Worst case, if your job is on the line, that manager will be aware of the problems and could be in your corner.
Objectively, is the work bad? Or are the comments mostly correct but just shitty?
Do you have written evidence of the shittiness (sounds like yes)? I think it may be worth having a conversation with him after you get comments to discuss them. Push him to re-read his shitty comments, that might strike a nerve. They also might not realize how big of a cunt they're being.
But, ultimately, if it doesn't change, have the conversation with your manager and ask for feedback on your work. When they ask why, mention that you've been getting some harsh feedback and want to work on improving.
You can't really get into a blame game with someone else, it makes unnecessary drama.
While you're doing this, evaluate exit opportunities, these don't always result in "everything is fixed and forgotten" moments.
I guess they’re not up to par as him obviously since he’s a lot more experienced but they do definitely sound cunty. Could I just ask my manager for someone else to review my work? I don’t see why I wouldn’t open to my manager. I’m on the verge of quitting
If it's that bad, have the conversation with your manager. However, have an exit lined up.
There is a very good chance this backfires and you're seen as immature (regardless of whether that's true). The office is a very political place, so it's a real risk to elevating without having checked all of the boxes.
Lol
So, being kinda blunt here.... I can't tell if you are being "too sensitive" (like a stereotypical Gen Z snowflake trophy kid lol) or if this "analyst" training you is a sadistic asshole... there is also the third option, some of both is true! So before you just quit the job, I'd recommend you get some external input from a person(s) you trust.
Ideally, a friend from college, maybe even a former professor, or someone not in your firm, who you can show some of your work product and the notes/comments (clearly redact any addresses and deal identifying info) who can say if the comments are really that bad or not.
Being straight up honest, a lot of first year analysts produce shitty work product, especially in the first 3 months. It takes time to get good, and more time to figure out what the "seniors" want (and that is often subjective, esp. in a DE placement shop). So, while this person maybe is hurting your feelings, they may be legit giving you amazing feedback you should really try to figure out and use to improve.
That said, dealing with assholes is part of life (esp. in CRE), so I really do not think quitting will be a great idea. Plus, if you go on the job market and need to talk about this role, your reason for quitting will make you look like a total loser. If you do quit, I'd advise dropping it from your resume. If it still sucks when you are close to a year in or whatever, can always engineer a lateral if needed.
So im in New York and the culture is fine as a whole. It’s just this one person who provides shitty feedback everyday and isn’t constructive whatsoever. It’s literally mean and I would share it but don’t wanna get caught. It doesn’t help me improve at all and just makes me not want to be there at this point
Gotcha, I'm in NYC as well and the cultural notes for sure. Like others said, talking to the above manager is not a crazy idea, but I would still get some third party looks (agree, DO NOT post here), just for some calibration.
The fact that this is all "written" and only when reviewing work is kinda interesting, like what happens if you have a discussion about the work product and comments with the person? Do they explain in "nicer" terms? Do they seem helpful one-on-one.
Again, my gut says you should work to manage the situation vs. quitting, especially if this is really first job post UG as the post suggests. All first jobs sucks in some way, and my gut says sticking it out some (while trying to work on this) is the best move tbh.
What are some examples of his comments?
When I mark up other people's work, I'm pretty straightforward with my notes, like "increase terminal cap rate to 5.50%". I'm not going to spend any time writing "Hey X, can you please increase the terminal cap rate to 5.50%? Thank you so much!!"
It is very difficult to comment on the entirety of your post without witnessing the situation first hand - i.e. maybe your work is flat out atrocious and deserves criticism - but I want to focus on this part. If you presented the situation at hand objectively, the analyst reviewing you is an outrageous pussy.
First of all, the idea of having 24-year-olds tear 22-year-olds a new asshole at a company I work for is cringeworthy. You're both essentially children. The leaders of your company are abdicating leadership by allowing this lord of the flies situation to exist in the first place.
Second, while you may need to learn how to do the work, the analyst clearly needs to learn how to lead. Being rude isn't a good teaching method. Belittling isn't a good teaching method. Being one way in-person while being far harsher in writing is not only not a good teaching method, but also cowardly. You teach new people by taking them under your wing, by mentoring them, by correcting mistakes but also by showing examples of proper work. You do things like write a good official review but take them aside after and tell them that while you weren't going to throw them under the bus, X and Y really need to improve and you're going to help them make sure it does. Actions like that inspire loyalty and comradery as opposed to making someone who has worked there 3 months consider quitting.
So, do you walk away from the job? Of course not. Do you just keep giving your lunch money to the bully? It's time to nut up and get to work. Double check your work to make sure it is golden. Go above and beyond. Find other mentors to ask questions about. Beat this little sniveling idiot by being the absolute best analyst you can be and by out performing him at every opportunity that presents itself.
Don't be afraid to sit down with them and tell them that they're being a prick too. Part of being an adult is addressing conflict head on in a reasonable way.
"Hey man, I saw on my recent written report that you called me a 'repugnant waste of air.' I 100% want to correct whatever issue I had with my work, but at the same time, I don't think name calling is effective or warranted in this situation. You've been doing this for longer than I have. How do I get better?"
What? Why are you assholes to women you want to hook up with?
So you are a woman. You could have answered that honestly, not sure why it matters
This is some serious soy shit right here
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