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[quote=knaegeli]http://www.razume.com/documents/26387[/quote]
I immediately noticed the first job is in present tense and 2nd is in past. I believe the entire resume should be in the past tense.
I would focus on your experiences in Afghanistan for the National Guard section. Interaction with officers, interaction with locals/local leaders, humanitarian missions, etc.
Expand upon your interests. Ie "creating living coral salt water aquariums" something like that. Make your interests interesting.
And I'd like to thank you for your service. One of my best friends spent a year in Afganistan and recently returned from a 2 month assignment somewhere in the middle east. Really means a lot to me knowing the sacrifices that men and women such as yourself make for our country.
[quote=knaegeli]http://www.razume.com/documents/26387[/quote]
Hi Knaegli, I have a b-school Q&A thread here on WSO, and I also review resumes for the Stanford Graduate School of Business career management center.
I think this resume has a strong format, but I am a bit confused about your career history. Were you full-time National Guard before you went back to school? It's important that the resume shows the sequence of what you did when. That is particularly important, because it looks like you may have a fascinating story buried behind this resume.
I recommend that you explain your career progression more, especially while in the Army National Guard, and cut back on the E&Y 8 bullet points. That's too many for just 6 months. I think you can use the extra space to explain that you went to school while in the Army, or explain also about other tangible achievements during your 12 year career there.
Adcoms always say that they don't want to be left guessing, and your service and your ability to juggle everything you've been juggling is going to be part of your story.
If you have any specific questions, you can PM me. thanks, Betsy
this is weak
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